Erue... (Louis Tomlinson Romance)

Chapter 6 - Decisions...

Hi Guys. Sorry it's been a while since I last updated, ive had a lot going on. Here is the next chapter :) Let me know what you think in the comments below and share around this story or even give us a vote :) thanks xxx

Chapter 6 – Decisions

ROSE POV:

As we continued to sit here, holding each other, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. If it wasn’t for me, Louis wouldn’t be sitting here losing his mind. This is what I was scared of, becoming a burden in his life, creating drama that he didn’t deserve. When you care about someone, seeing them hurt is the last thing you crave. Sometimes I wonder if my dad hadn’t come back into my life, would we be where we are today. Would Louis and I be this close to each other, in this moment right now… Would I care about him as much as I do, or would we still be lying to each other about our feelings…? These are the questions I ask myself.

The boys are going on tour soon and I need to learn to protect myself, to stop worrying about what others say and just accept that this is going to happen. I like Louis and I can’t deny that anymore, I’d be lying to myself, but I can’t let my walls down until I feel safe. When I’m not with him I feel the need to be and when I am, I wish we had more contact. Only knowing each other for a month creates limitations. I don’t want to go too fast, but then things just happen on their own. It’s pathetic to say I’m scared, I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. My fears from the restaurant a month ago had been proven correct, although Louis and I weren’t dating nor had I been out publicly with them more than twice, the hate had increased to a threatening level.

Work hadn’t been as bad but I had deleted my Facebook and Twitter due to numerous friend requests and unnecessary tweets that just simmered my self-esteem. I now understand how famous people feel. Obviously they have more followers which means more hate but I’m glad my childhood dream changed from acting to studying two degrees in Make Up Creativity and Photography.  Something else that’s been bothering me; after studying for numerous years I really want some work in those departments… Too many things occupying my attention right now and I need to work through them one by one.

I turned my attention back to Louis whose lap I was sitting on. I tried to stand so that I could sit beside him, but his grip only tightened. I sighed knowing that he wasn’t going to let me go at this particular moment. His breathing had evened out again and the sound of sniffing had decreased. Looking at him, as if asking if he was alright with my eyes, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak.

“I’m sorry Rose, I wish I could’ve stopped those horrible things from being said and addressed to your house, I’m sorry I didn’t protect you like I promised…” his voice was slow and quiet as he tried to find the right words.

“Louis, you have protected me, this is in no way your fault. No one could have prevented this from happening, although it made me upset, I have to learn to not let that affect me, especially since you’re staying in my house.” I laughed quietly as I finished my sentence, realising this hate may never stop. “At the end of the day, we have each other to look after one another if this happens.” I smiled softly at him, his arms tightening in a hug before loosely hanging around my waist again. I successfully got off of his lap before trotting to the kitchen, grabbing some tissues and a glass of water before walking back to the living room and handed them to Louis. “I’m gonna have a shower then head to bed, okay?”

“Okay, I already showered back at Harry and I’s so I’ll be in bed.” He explained. I nodded before making my way to the bathroom. As I stripped my clothes and stepped into the shower, the water gently cascaded down my back as I ducked my head underneath as well. For as long as Louis is staying with me and if we remain friends this hate is going to be never ending. Eventually it’s going to turn around and be targeted toward him and I don’t want him to have to deal with that. I feel like I should stop this potential relationship before it goes too far before more people get hurt, but then I don’t want to because I like him too much.

A month is a short time frame, but depending on the amount of time you spend with someone, determines the feelings you either have or don’t have toward them. Since day one, Louis and I have worked to construct a trusting friendship and are still building on that today. Having him live with me gives me the opportunity to discover who he is and the way he is behind closed doors and away from all the cameras. People think pop stars would be full of themselves and so demanding but Louis, no. Being completely honest with myself and not letting our friendship create a bias opinion, he is the most down to earth man I’ve met in a long time. All the boys are so grounded and they are to be commended as they beat the typical stereotype. I can’t describe how grateful I am to know each of these boys and how appreciative I am of Louis’ ongoing support and care that he has given me. I just don’t want them to get hurt because of me.

After washing my hair and cleaning my body I quickly stepped out of the shower, rushing to get a towel, the night air sending a chill down my spine. I stepped into my pyjamas and dried my hair before hanging my towel up and striding out of the bathroom, walking around the house to switch the lights off. As I entered the lounge room I saw Louis sleeping peacefully on the couch, his eyebrows scrunched together in concern. He looked so innocent, yet so manly and beautiful that it was impossible to not stare. He didn’t deserve this large burden in his life, he didn’t need to be around for this rollercoaster that would only go down, he has a dream to chase and to live once he is on tour and he isn’t going to throw that away. He deserves the world and a love that will be safe and secure without the disruption of abusive parents and raging fan girls.

These thoughts lead me consider different decisions. I could tell him to leave and go back to living with harry to protect himself and the others around him or I could be selfish and keep him around and risk his life along with the ones he loves. Having him leave would suppress the guilt ripping at my guts and relieve minimal amount of the stress I have for his safety. Having him stay would increase the fear. Either way it’s going to hurt both of us but no matter what, his safety is most important.

It’s not a life I’m willing to let him live and in that moment I had made my decision.