He's half my soul

Desire

I wake up to the sun stretching out over the horizon. The deep orange, reds and purples brought from Apollo's chariot. I turn to watch Achilles' sleeping body, breaths as even as ocean waves. His golden blonde curls caressing his cheek. I watch the muscles in his chest move with his breaths, his tanned skin as flawless as a blank canvas.
Today Achilles turns 16. He is not the same boy that I met in the storage closet all those years ago. He is a man a warrior, in essence a God. But that doesn't scare me. What scares me most is that he will be expected to marry, have children and pledge himself to someone. It hurts how much I desire Achilles, but whenever he touches me and I feel the warmth in my stomach. I remember that day on the beach when I kissed him all those years ago. The way he ran from me, broke me. I spent weeks trying to repair myself, each time I tried I would get hit with the thought that he would never see me in the ways I see him. Sometimes I think I see it in his eyes: desire for me. But before I decipher it, it's gone.
I study Achilles relaxed face. His perfect features bring me peace. Whatever Achilles wants me to be I will be it. Even if it breaks me, because I would break myself 100 times over before I let a crack surface in him. When the sun is halfway in the sky Achilles opens his sea green eyes. When he sees me looking at him he smiles, sits up and brings his forehead to mine.
"Good morning Patroclus." He says
"Good morning Achilles." I replay
He yawns and stretches and I watch his muscles move like flowing water.
"I'm going to meet with my mother. I expect she will want to see me today."
I nod and he leaves the cave still putting his tunic on when he passes the door.

Achilles doesn't return until after lunch. When he comes back he asks me if I want to swim in the creek, I nod. When we get to the creek we swim and rustle. Once we tire we lay on the bank letting the sun dry the water off our skin. He is laying on his back and I am sitting sprawled out with my arms supporting myself. A comfortable silence stretches until I break it asking:
"Do you feel any older Achilles?"
He cracks one of his eyes open.
"Not really, do I look older?" He asks
"Not any older than you did yesterday." I reply, he nods. Another silence stretches before I ask timidly:
"Achilles do desire taking a wife?"
With that question he opens both his eyes and gives me a confused expression. He sits up and looks into my eyes.
"Patroclus why would you ask me this question?"
"You are 16 now Achilles, a man and you will be expected to take a wife and have children. Is that something you desire?"
He digests the new information thoughtfully before replying:
"Taking a wife is not something I desire." He says confidently. I nod and look down at my hands pulling at the grass.
Another silence stretches before he asks almost nervously:
"Is taking a wife something you desire?"
I look up from the grass and meet his eyes.
"No Achilles." I reply quietly
We sit there just looking at each other. My stomach begins to warm.
"Is there something you do desire?" I ask almost in a whisper.
"Yes." Achilles says quietly.
He puts a hand on my cheek cradling my neck.
"I don't think you understand how important you are to me Patroclus." He says in a breath. "I do not desire a wife or children I desire you. I want to stay with you always, just like we promised and I'm not going to let anyone get in the way."
Achilles uses his thumb to wipe away tears that I hadn't realized I'd shed. Hesitantly he leans in and kisses the rest off my cheeks. When he is finished he kisses my forehead and looks into my eyes. I want to lean in but the desire to feel his body against mine overwhelms me. I pull him into a tight embrace and we stay like that for what seems like a forever but not long enough.