𝖦𝗁𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖧𝗎𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋 (𝖭𝗂𝖼𝗈 𝖣𝗂 𝖠𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅𝗈)

three

chapter three
a flag of rainbow makes nico want to burn it

(tw: internalized homophobia)

—NICO LOOKED AROUND samael's room trying not to show too much interest. he had learnt that you could learn a lot about a person when looking at their living space.

samael's room wasn't exactly something that nico would design for himself but it suited samael quite well. he had bright blue bed sheets that covered his single bed and white painted walls although the white was barely visible on two of the four walls. in the corner where his bed was there were a variety of posters, most from musicals that nico was unfamiliar with (he was surprised to see that alexander hamilton had a show dedicated to him but then again a lot of things in this time were surprising) but there were one or two ghost hunting show posters that nico recognized. on the left wall where the posters stopped there were photographs that were stuck to the wall. and on the right wall where the posters stopped there was a rainbow flag.

after spending so much time in this century he knew this to he the 'pride flag'. nico couldn't help but shift uneasily. when samael's mom had mentioned another woman, a woman she called his mother he had immediately drawn the conclusion and while he didn't outright show it, he was uncomfortable. he was uncomfortable with how open people were about their illness, about how they accepted that disgusting part of themselves with no hesitation.

yes he had that same illness, the illness that made his heart beat a little faster when he saw a boy and made his throat dry up when he was speaking to a boy but he would never truly embrace that part of himself. that part of himself was a disease, it was disgusting.

he hadn't thought of what he and samael were doing as a date, perhaps to samael it was as he wasn't aware that what he has, what nico also has, was an illness. he hadn't thought of his attraction to samael as anything more than a symptom to his sickness, that odd feeling in his stomach when samael smiled as the gods trying to punish him for what he was feeling 

he internally wished that in the future, that in this time they had developed a cure for the disease instead of pretending that it wasn't there because then perhaps he wouldn't be plagued by his thoughts. by the overwhelming idea that maybe it was okay to be attracted to men in that way (an idea he wished to tear down with every fiber of his being because it was wrong).

"-you want to put your bag down?"

nico blinked at samael having been torn from his thoughts, he noticed that samael's backpack had been tossed onto the floor and the he now held a black duffle bag in his right hand. wordlessly he slipped his own backpack off his back on put it down gently, the bag was generally empty as he didn't see the need in doing schoolwork to a school he didn't officially attend (let's just say that his teachers thought he belonged there but the government would most definitely not) but it was still a relief to be able to put it down.

"do you want a hoodie, it gets pretty cold in the graveyard at night," samael asked.

"no, i've got a jacket," nico answered gesturing to the aviator jacket he wore over his black t shirt.

"could you hold this?" samael said handing the duffel bag to nico, they were much heavier than expected. "i need to get something warm from the washing line for myself, else i'll freeze to death."

he left the room before nico could respond, leaving him alone to continue examining samael's room. he noticed the low bookshelf against one of the walls with a variety of books in many different languages (he assumed they were different languages at least because he could recognize the greek, latin and italian writing on a few covers while the rest just looked like letters and shapes due to his dyslexia).