dysfunctional

the thing about pain

tonight I realized that you weren't the one who wrecked me, you aren't the one who destroyed me, wrecked me, ruined me. it was me, because only I have the power to do that to myself. I destroy myself every day by continuously loving you.
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*bzzzz*
2.30 am
Incoming text from Niall
it read
"i can't take this anymore bri. i need to feel something, I need the pain"
Niall hasn't cut for a while he said, but there's no use stopping him. He won't ever listen to me. I asked him why he does it, he said
" I like the sting, I like how it feels. I like the way my muscles bleed, I like the sight."
He returned the favor by asking me why. I told him
" I can't feel a thing. The blades are too sharp for me to feel them slitting open my skin. The slants, the curves. The words. Your name, it's tainted red on my skin. I like the hit "

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The only thing I feel when I cut is satisfaction, Niall feels pain. I feel pleasure, while he goes insane.