“Ah, Lili? I’m done,” Mel announced, feeling quite smug that she’d finished her orientation before half the day was done.
Lili looked up from an engrossing email. “Done all your orientation? Great, let’s get you a project.” She reached for a stack of folders that threatened to topple over, picking up the yellow one on top. “Something easy to begin with. We need you to research rehabilitation techniques for graffiti criminals.”
Mel felt her jaw drop. “You need me to do…what? I’ve never worked with criminals, rehabilitation or anything to do with justice before. Since when was the justice system privatised?”
Lili gave Mel a perfunctory smile, as if she was trying not to roll her eyes. “After privatisation worked so well for the prison and immigration detention centres, privatising the justice system seemed the logical next step. It’s the “Life” in the name of our Corporation – Health, Environment, Life and Lands. Now, it shouldn’t be a problem. Our research division have already done a report on this, so all of their references should still be on file.”
Mel felt like she’d missed something. “If it’s already been done, why do you need me to do it again?” she asked.
Lili leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Our research division looks at things…rather differently to us. We’re not sure they took the research in the right direction. They may have focussed on art therapy because it was the easiest solution, as opposed to the best solution.”
Mel laughed. “But surely art therapy would be the easiest solution!”
Lili frowned. “Don’t let their research blind you. Our research division has their offices next to an art school, which isn’t the case with this office, so you shouldn’t suffer the same bias as our Head Researcher.”
Mel nodded knowingly. “Ah, an art school. Did he have to do lots of research in the female life drawing class? I can understand why he’d advocate that solution.”
Lili looked shocked. “You can’t say things like that. Phil might consider it sexual harassment.”
Mel wet her lips, wondering how to correct her mistake. “Well, it does seem like the first thing I’d think of. Drawing naked women would certainly have an effect on the minds of men in prison, particularly those who are already artistically inclined. Things don’t change that much.”
Lili’s face carefully lost all expression. “Sometimes they do, dear. Phil is gay and he’s married to the principal of the art school, Lial. I understand the female form does nothing for him.”
Mel felt her face blush to match the partition. “Well, I guess I’ll get started then,” she said with false cheer, picking up the yellow file and walking away as quickly as she could.
She sat down at her desk and restrained herself from banging her head repeatedly on the laminated surface.
She promised herself that if she met Briefcase-up-the-Bum Bloke on the train home, she’d break every bone in his foot. She took a deep breath and got to work.
YOU ARE READING
Mel Goes To Hell
Humor“Great, see you in hell at 9 on Monday morning!" Even working in hell has a funny side. Mel accepted a job in the Hell Corporation. The push for cost-cutting, consolidation and privatisation meant most government services were contracted out to one...
