Forever | k.th.

5.

For hours I drove.

Well, I didn't, but my driver did.

I needed to leave. I needed to clear my head because getting upset like this isn't good for me or good for us, but I can't get what she said out of my head.

How could someone be so hmm, close minded on such a thing?

Shae and I have been through different situations, yet we have been able to get through them. Not saying we won't get through this, but how can I assure her that our relationship is not a hmm, trial or experiment? How can I show her that?

If she's thinking I don't want to be with her and I want to be with someone here or have a future with them, wouldn't she know that I would be with them and not her? Hmm, I wonder now if she's questioned this before? She could have always thought this, and I would never know.

My heart broke a little more. If I keep this up, it will have shattered before I get back over to her. Hmm, would she even want me to return? Maybe I shouldn't have left the way I did. I should have stayed and talked through this. I knew something was bothering her, and I was right, but I didn't expect the reasoning behind it.

Why does a thing like this matter to some people? Why are we, society, judged continuously for who we love?

Even hurt and upset about what this person said, she still sympathized with them. If this doesn't tell me how much of an angel she really is then what will?

Maybe I should have been more understanding.

I leaned over and told the driver to take me back to the hotel. I stared at my phone, fidgeted with it, and felt tempted to text Jimin or Namjoon hyung. I was afraid that I might say the wrong words when I saw Shae again, and I don't want this to get any worse. Though it would be nice to hear their advice, I may need to figure this out on my own.

We arrived back at the hotel. I sat in the car longer than I should have, but I wanted to make sure I was calm enough to resolve this. I don't want to fight with Shae. This was our time to celebrate our first anniversary, and it's not going as planned. I don't know what else to do. I feel as if it's been my fault from the beginning, and now she thinks our relationship is a pastime.

There are things in my life that are important. My career has been the majority, but now other things are important too, like having my home and family and taking care of my children the way my parents and grandparents took care of me. Being just like my father and teaching my son and daughter about life. These are the things I want.

Do I want them with Shae?

I can't be entirely sure of that, but I know that I don't want to be without her. This is what's essential at the moment, and it's what I must tell her.

I must show her.

Nervous but determined, I placed my hand on the door handle and opened it. Security was quick to my side, but I ignored them. I threw my hood over my hair and walked inside the hotel. Once I reached our room, I slid the card into the entry and entered a dimmed setting. The lamp next to the couch where I left Shae was on, illuminating the room along with the lights of the city.

As I walked quietly toward our bedroom, Shae was sitting on the couch, staring at the television. There was a cooking show playing, but she didn't seem to hold any interest in it. I knew she felt my presence, but never once did she look my way. I pursed my lips to call her, but I stopped myself. I know I said I needed to tell her, but I think I want to show her more.

Slowly, I lowered my hood, eased next to her, and took a seat beside her. I kept my eyes on her as she remained watching the screen. Nervous, I placed my hands on hers, and that's when my heart wept. A lone tear fell from Shae's eyes the second I touched her, and she lowered her head.

Not speaking a word, I took her hand in mine and pulled her toward me for a hug. Shae's body jerked, but her sobs were silent, assuring me of her need for comfort. It also reminded her I am hers, and she is mine.

Lifting her face to my own to see tears trapped in her gaze made my heart burst with sadness. The tears that fell from my eyes were proof of it. Her eyes were already red, this much I could tell. She hadn't stopped crying since I left.

My lips brushed her for a kiss. She froze beneath them, not kissing me back, which made me even sadder. I needed to say something now.

"Shae..." I could hear the rasp in my whisper. "Why won't you kiss me, hm?"

Shae shook her head. "I don't deserve you. I don't..."

"No," I interrupted. "I'm not deserving of you, but yet am I blessed with you. Do you know how many times it has scared me to think you would walk out of my life? Have you any idea how much I've been fighting with myself to find happiness with you? Don't say you don't deserve me. It's the untruth."

Shae's lips trembled. "I'm so sorry Taehyung. I'm sorry I let her get into my head and hurt our relationship."

"I'm sorry I forgot about our one year. I love you Shae and want more years with you."

The pieces of my heart were coming back together as I kissed her again. This time, she kissed me back, and it was my time now to show her what I meant.

Thank you always for your support!
Cupid 💘