Katya didn't know what she was expecting, but it wasn't Trixie saying yes. She had thrown the question out without thinking it through and was now panicking more and more the closer they got to her apartment.
There was no doubt that what was behind that door was shocking, and Katya had no idea how the country girl would respond to it.
Then again, if Trixie could write songs about them, why shouldn't it be okay for Katya to paint her?
"Ehm Trix, before we go in there. I just wanna warn you, it might be alot to take in so feel free to leave whenever you want." Katya stated nervously as she put her hand on the doorknob.
"Kat, it's okay, just relax." Trixie said as she put her hand on top of Katya's calmly and twisted it with it her, unveiling the room of endless canvases and palettes.
Trixie let her eyes search across Katya's apartment. Trying to put together pieces of the life that she had missed, finding the clues to who the girl she knew had become.
There were things everywhere, and yet somehow it didn't seem messy. Paintings and sketches hung on the walls, some which Trixie remembered from Katya's childhood bedroom.
She walked around the room, looking at each oddly familiar painting that depicted some sort of separate feature.
A honey brown eye that felt like looking in a mirror.
Blonde waves of hair that seemed like her own.
Pink lips that felt like a photograph from her teen years.
All of them featuring surroundings of vibrant colors, some of them seeming hopeful, some hopeless, some happy, and some sad.
She walked further into the studio apartment, closer to what she figured had to be Katya's bedroom.
There stood what must be close to a hundred paintings of Trixie through the years, tucked away in a corner. She saw outfits from her performances, her albums, magazine covers, and some from her childhood.
Katya was scared, Trixie didn't seem mad, but she also hadn't said anything. Not even after seeing the paintings that were so blatantly her.
The paintings that Katya had refused to sell or show anyone.
Trixie carefully opened Katya's bedroom door, waiting for the other blonde to protest, but when she heard nothing she continued inside.
She didn't know what she hoped to find, she just desperately needed to understand Katya, and she was clinging to every straw of guidance she found.
As she stepped inside her eyes immediately focused on the painting on the wall next to Katya's bed.
Two girls sat together on a front porch, one with a pencil in hand, the other with a guitar.
Them.
The way they were.
"Katya, this is beautiful." Trixie spoke in awe as she felt herself pulled back to her innocent years, where loving Katya was all that truly mattered.
"I painted that right before you left. It was meant to be a gift for your birthday that year." Katya stated, seeing Trixie's face fall at the information.
"No, no Trix, please don't feel bad. It's fine, I really am happy that you got what you wanted. And of course I'm happy you managed to solve the money issues for your mom." Katya said as they both sat down on her bed.
"I just... I haven't let myself truly focus on what I had to give up before I came back here, and now more than ever I wish I had done it all differently. You didn't deserve what I did." Trixie said, a tear escaping her eyes like a raindrop on a leaf.
"What you did didn't deserve how angry I was." Katya admitted making Trixie smile a little.
"Do you wanna see what I'm working on currently?" Katya asked after a moment of silence, Trixie nodded. The painter lead the Barbie doll to a canvas in a small room next door.
Trixie's eyes traveled across the canvas, taking in the array of colors and the life that Katya had managed to capture. To Trixie it looked like a hand strumming on strings, and a silhouette of a woman in the audience in front.
"I started this last night. I'm not sure what I was trying to paint, but it seems a little like you playing your guitar, don't you think?" Katya said.
"Yeah, and you in the audience." Trixie pointed out, making Katya humm in agreement as she saw what Trixie saw.
They walked into Katya's livingroom and sat down on her couch. Katya couldn't help but think that Trixie looked like she belonged on that couch.
"So, I'm your muse then?" Trixie asked boldly. Katya blushed a deep scarlet.
"Figured it out, did you?" She joked.
"Well, it wasn't the best kept secret. I already suspected it at the first paintings, but the ones next to your bedroom are a dead giveaway." Trixie said with a laugh, making Katya laugh too. Something about that insane bird cackle was weirdly infectious.
"So you're not mad then?" Katya asked nervously.
"Mad? Why would I ever be mad? Katya, these paintings are incredible. I'm just happy that you care enough about me still to paint me, I feared you might hate me before I came back here." Trixie said honestly.
Katya took Trixie's hands in hers and looked deeply into her golden brown eyes.
"Trixie, I could never hate you. I may have been mad and bitter, but I never hated you. The only thing I hated was myself for not being able to move on. I hated that I couldn't stop..." Katya trailed off, stopping herself from saying the words that scared her the most. The words that had gotten her heart burned once before.
"Stop what?" Trixie asked, her eyes searching for the sincerity that Katya always tried so desperately to avoid.
Katya took a deep breath before replying;
"Stop loving you."
YOU ARE READING
Sincerity Is Scary ✔~ trixya
Fanfiction"She's back in town you know. She's playing a show at Dolly's tonight." Violet said, trying to see if there was any hope of getting the bitter woman to swallow her pride. "I don't care. Why would I? She's no one to me." Katya replied, annoyed that...
