Sincerity Is Scary ✔~ trixya

Chapter 4: Like A Fool

Katya threw out option after option, finding nothing to wear.
Adore had called to ask if Katya could come early as she didn't have time to deliver Katya's tickets and backstage pass, and it would create too many delays if the door staff were forced to fix it.
Katya didn't know if she fully believed her, but at the same time she knew that Adore had never had a full house at Dolly's before, nor hosted a star as big as Trixie, so it was understandable that the masses of people who would attend tonight were frightening. 

However Katya wasn't ready to go early, she found no clothing option that said "hi, please love me and immidiatly become my girlfriend, even tho I act like I'm mad and over you". 
Eventually she found a formfitted, short checkered red and black dress which had a matching snapback and thigh high, high heeled boots. The dress showed off her arms and all the tattoos she had gotten over the years. She split her long hair into two braids and threw on some black fishnet thights. She looked good, and not like the main goal was to get laid, which felt important tonight.

She walked over to the club, large posters of Trixie covering the enterance walls, and to her surprise, the real Trixie Mattel standing between them.

Somehow the girl she once knew had grown into the most beautiful woman.
Sure, Katya had seen photos of her, knew that she had gotten more attractive, but photos did the woman no justice.

Trixie stood outside talking on the phone, clearly too distracted to notice Katya, which allowed Katya to just take in all of her.
She was clearly wearing a stage outfit, a hot pink, skin tight, short dress. It had a turtle neck and long sleeves, but there were cut outs on the shoulders and at the waistline. Her curves were sinful, her incredible, thick thighs on display where the dress stopped.
Trixie was known for her short dresses, allthough some were more adorable with a 60s Barbie vibe, but this one was definitively Barbie all grown up. It was fitting actually, the show that night was 21+ as Dolly's was mainly a club and bar. Somehow Trixie's outfit choice reflected that. 

Suddenly Trixie hung up the phone and Katya regretted not moving once she had first seen her, but then again, she knew that she had to face Trixie at some point.
Katya stood face to face with Trixie for the first time in 8 years and suddenly everything was forgotten. All Katya could think of was that her muse was standing there before her, bright pink lips, dramatic contour, her newest black and white eyeliner look which she had started doing a couple months earlier, and she was looking more beautiful than Katya had ever seen her.

"Hi." Katya breathed out, still partly doubting that it could truly be Trixie standing there.

"Hi Katya." Trixie said with a shy smile, suddenly feeling like the 12 year old girl who moved from Milwaukee, once again.

"How have you been...?Nevermind...you've obviously been great. You're touring the world and selling out records...I'm stupid..sorry." Katya rambled. Suddenly all hostility was gone, and Trixie was the unattainable world star who had written songs Katya loved, not the long lost friend and lover whom Katya missed. 

"Katya, breathe. I know stuff happened, but I'm still just me, you know? But yeah, it's going well. I have great bandmates and I'm with a much better label than before, so it's all really good now." Trixie stated honestly. While Katya calmed down, Trixie took the time to look at the other blonde. Her hair was longer, her strong arms even more attractive than before and painted in black with beautiful ink. Her red lips remained, but otherwise her makeup was more refined, her style sense aswell. The Katya Trixie remembered was beautiful, but the woman in front of her now was the most attractive woman Trixie had ever seen.  

"That's good, really. I'm happy for you." Katya stated finally. And she was, despite everything, Katya wanted nothing more than for Trixie to be happy. She did make a mental note that Trixie didn't mention a girlfriend tho, holding on to the small hope that Trixie might actually be single.

"How have you been?" Trixie asked with a kind smile. 

"Good, or not really I suppose... But now I'm good. I went to art school, and I've sold quite a bit of paintings since graduating." Katya explained. She didn't want to talk about the tough years, but she also didn't want to lie. She was good now, except her bitterness towards Trixie, all was good, it just hadn't always been like that.

"That's great Katya! I'd love to see some of them some day!" Trixie said excitedly and grabbed Katya's arm to convey her genuine joy. A second later when Katya stared at it tho, Trixie's hand was pulled away again.

"Sorry... I forgot, I'm probably not allowed to do that anymore." Trixie said sadly, eyes flickering towards the floor in shame of what her actions had made them into. Katya was about to protest, but the damage was done, Trixie looked like a hurt puppy and Katya's heart almost shattered.

"It's fine, really... I need to get ready, but I hope you'll come say hi after. Adore said she gave you a backstage pass." Trixie said before turning to leave. Katya quickly grabbed her wrist, surprising Trixie.

"Wait Trixie, it wasn't an issue, really. There's a lot to be talked about, but I really want you to know that I don't hate you or anything. I'm really happy you're doing so well. I'll come after, I promise." Katya said as she let go of the wrist.

"Thank you. I really missed you, Katya, more than you know." Trixie said with a smile before heading inside. Katya was left, playing the words over in her head.

Trixie had missed her.

Trixie had everything in the world, but still missed her. 

Maybe there was still some hope.

At that moment Katya admitted to herself the one truth that she had tried to deny for so long;

she still loved Trixie like a fool