Crown of Shadows

Chapter 21

"I was just about to leave," I said, standing abruptly. I shot a glare at the Queen, but it went unnoticed.

"You can't leave, you haven't healed!" the nurse protested. The tray in her hands started to tremble.

"Don't worry," said the Queen dryly. "She's not going anywhere."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" I towered over her, but she refused to meet my eyes.

"I know what you're planning to do. But you won't be able to do it by yourself. You want to go back in time, but I'd like to remind you that you have a torn suit, a pair of broken wings, and no elixir," the Queen told me, raising her eyes to meet mine. They lost their friendliness, replaced by a sharpness that demanded obedience.

"I'll find some other way," I said, crossing my arms. "It's not like you're planning on helping me, anyway."

"You're right." The Queen shook her head. "I don't plan to help you. But it isn't because I'm the heartless monster you think I am. We have to keep the timeline in order, and I know you don't understand that now, but when you grow older you will. You'll understand that I did what I had to."

"Did you have to kill Anika's parents, too? Did you have to make time bubbles and put everyone's lives in danger? Did you have to leave our family to die? Did you have to build the Factory and make everybody suffer?"

"It is what happened, so it was what I had to do. To keep the timeline in order. This is what needed to happen. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me," I spat. "Apologize to everybody else who you killed or tortured because you had to protect your precious timeline, which you're ruining anyway with all your time bubbles!" I was fuming, face growing red. Without another word, I spun on my heel and headed towards the door.

"I wasn't apologizing for that," the Queen said, grabbing my good arm. She looked into my eyes, looking sincerely sorry. "I can't let you go."

"You let me go!" I screamed. I thrashed, yanking my arm, but her grasp remained firmly locked onto my wrist. I pushed and kicked, tears suddenly streaming down my face once more. "I need to save them!"

She didn't loosen her grip. I began to sob. "You went through this. Isn't this how it happened? Can't you understand what it's like? What made you like this? What made you so cruel?"

The Queen looked at me, or I suppose I looked at myself. But the face I was looking at was unrecognizable. Was there going to be a day where I looked in the mirror and no longer recognized myself?

"Listen to me, please," begged the Queen. "I'll explain everything to you. I know you're hurting, believe me, I know. And if you just hear me out, then you can leave."

Her grasp on my arm loosened. I wrenched my arm from her, but she didn't flinch. She just stood there, eyes pleading me to understand. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. She is me. She wants the best for me, because anything that happens to me now changes what happens to her. Maybe she's just trying to protect me. There has to be some kind of reason.

"Okay," I agreed slowly. "But right after you're done, I'm out of here."

"Deal," said the Queen.

"Before you do anything, she really needs to rest," the nurse cut in. I forgot she was even standing there. She had set down the tray, looking disapprovingly at us. "I realize you two have some important things to talk about, but I think she's had enough surprises for today."

Surprises. That was the understatement of the year. First, I was attacked by Anika, somebody I thought I could trust. Next I found out that everything she said about me was right, and that I really was going to be a murderous queen in the future. Then I found out that nearly everybody on Teyuk was horribly murdered, along with my parents, and that I couldn't save any of them. All in the span of a day. It was no wonder I was so upset; I figured I had a right to be.

The Queen glanced at me. There was a moment of hesitation before she agreed. "I suppose we can continue tomorrow." I nodded slowly. Whatever else she had to tell me, I doubted it was going to be good news. I just needed a moment to process everything.

"Okay. I'll come back tomorrow to speak with you," the Queen told me. I nodded again and she spun around, walking past the nurse and out the door.

"Why don't you take a seat?" the nurse suggested. I shuffled over to the bed and sat with my hands in my lap. The bubble was still around my arm, making it feel strangely itchy.

Nancy brought me the tray, setting it down beside me. She looked me up and down. "I'm sorry the Queen was so harsh with you. Just between you and me, she can get a little intense. Though, I suppose you are her, so I guess she'll find out anyway? Or already has found out? Or has known this entire time that I said that?" She shook her head. "Oh, nevermind. It's quite confusing, really."

"It certainly is," I agreed. "I actually would have rather not met myself."

The nurse smiled. "You'll grow to like her, I'm sure. Anyways, here's your food. Make sure to drink all of your water, too. I'm going to check out your wings while you eat, if you don't mind."

"Sure," I said. I picked up my sandwich hungrily and shoved it down my throat, glad to have some normal food. The water was nice and cool down my throat as well, helping to soothe my raw throat. Meanwhile, the nurse prodded my wings. Despite a bit of pain, I didn't stop her. I was too hungry and thirsty to think of anything else.

After I swallowed down the last bite of my sandwich, Nancy spoke.

"How long did you have the splint on for?" she asked.

"Uhm, a few weeks?" I said, shrugging. "I don't know exactly."

"Well, that would make sense," said the nurse. "The bones in your wings seem to be intact. If there is any pain, I'd guess you overworked them. They're still fragile, and I'm sure jumping took a serious toll on them."

"So they're not broken anymore?" I asked, surprised.

"Nope," she replied. "But I'd suggest giving them a break for a while. Just try to get some rest, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. The nurse stood, taking the tray which was now empty. I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Could I also... get another sandwich?"

The nurse chuckled. "Yes, of course. Just don't eat so fast that you can't keep it down."

"I won't," I promised.

"All right," she said. She turned and went into a backroom, past a few rows of beds. While she prepared more food, I swung my legs back over the edge of the bed. Sighing, I rested my head against the cool pillow, allowing myself to sink into the bed. I had forgotten how good it felt to sleep on a bed. The bed cushioned my back, perfectly soft for my aching wings.

Slowly, my eyes began to flutter closed. I had meant to stay awake at least long enough to calm my rumbling stomach, but a wave of exhaustion suddenly swept me off my feet.

When the nurse arrived with my food, I was already in a deep sleep.