Are you scared?

9. So hungry.

Finding myself at Flo's again made me realize how little this home of mine offers. I didn't mind, but some other cousins wouldn't kill me.

I order, knowing damn well that Flo will ask me what's wrong and mainly why do I act so weirdly since Francesco arrived. The worst-case scenario is her talking about how great Francesco is for being a nudist right in front of me. But she didn't say a word.
How odd.
Instead, she wordlessly gave me my order. I won't dwell on it! I hope the cheeseburger will cheer me up. I almost bit down, but fate doesn't like when I sustain myself on anything more than air. My eyes flew up to see Francesco right in front of me.

Please, god, one minute to eat! Just one!

I put the burger down and straightened myself. My lunch can wait, I hope I will have time to eat later, or I will collapse. "About what happened-" Francesco started with a stone-cold expression. Yeah, I am not eating anytime soon. "Francesco is sorry, he... I didn't think of what your feelings might be like." It was a not-so-sudden confession knowing Francesco's character, but there had to be something more, or else he would do this privately. I waited without saying anything, hoping that silence wasn't cold but welcoming. Given the strange, unpleasant atmosphere, I couldn't tell if I had succeeded. "I intend to win tomorrow's race, so I want your permission for a wish." I could be a dick and tell him that asking for permission was yesterday's news, but I nodded instead. I looked at my burger that slowly sogged and waited for my consumption.

God, I was so hungry.

"I want to date Lightning and properly court him." My head shot up from my uneaten lunch to Francesco's face. His red ears were the only indication that he was feeling embarrassed. "Court me? I mean, how are you even sure I am into man? What if I am straight?" Of course, I am not; I've spent so much time travelling the world I am not even sure if it was possible to stick only to women. I tasted everything the world had to offer like the spoiled brat I was (including people); the question is: does Francesco know?
"Francesco saw you get into everyone's pants before you and Sally made it official on TV." I nodded before looking at my food again with a grimace; I can't play a straight card any more. Not that I intended, but it was an option lost. "That's true - I did have a thing for everything with a pulse. What makes you think I will leave Sally, tho?" As he said, I made it official, so I can only imagine the hell this would drag Sally and me through. The paparazzi would tear her apart, and then any possible chance of making our relationship at least friendly. The only reason paparazzi aren't on my ass twenty-four seven is that Sheriff is here and probably loses sleep thanks to them.

"Do you love Sally, or do you like her? From what Francesco saw, it looks more like a brother-sister relationship. When was the last time Lightning had sex? Let Francesco guess: our last race, where Lewis Hamilton had the opportunity to rearrange Lightning's insides. It was bliss hearing you from the room next door. That leads me to believe that this isn't about being loyal." Oh, he was good at this. I had no argument.
My face must've been red from the flush after remembering Lewis and that night. Was he right about me being loyal? If so, why was my reaction so severe? "A bliss, you say? Was that the day you realized you love me?" That was it, the word love and the whole meaning behind it. Getting railed was one thing, but confession? I don't get those. I get a "Good boy", "You're being so good", and others, but never I love yous. It was overwhelming and felt foreign. With Sally, it felt somewhat natural but with somebody like Francesco? Somebody I hated and admired at the same time? No.
The good thing is I don't need a shrink to tell me what threw me off, but why? I will need one for that.

"Hearing you moan another man's name? It was torture, Lightning." His seriousness took me off guard with those sharp eyes.
It reminded me of a predator stalking its prey.

"So... How long does this love of yours last?" I was preparing to hear anything, withstand anything, or maybe not bolt. Francesco looked out of the window with a concentrated look. He looked so damn attractive like this - his sharp features made me realize that the nudist had his charm. It didn't mean I loved him for it. "Since I saw the race when you helped the old racer get to the finish line. It was a big event, a show of pure fair play. You threw yourself in flames to help somebody." His lips parted as if ready to say something more, yet they closed as fast.
I didn't know they showed it anywhere other than the US. I looked down, remembering the heat of the flames on my face. I still had nightmares about it, and people viewed it as praiseworthy.
"I knew a man who lost his legs and never ended a race in a similar accident. It was a foolish decision of a teen." I said calmly, taking one fry in my hand, remembering doc. At the end of his life, his car was more of a wheelchair. I'm glad it didn't stop him from being a great teacher. "I would never advise anybody to do what I did. However, I don't regret the decision." I dropped the fry and looked at Francesco, who was staring at the fry with a frown.
"Francesco, I won't stop you from pursuing me, but it won't be easy. With me come, paparazzi, fears, and emotional baggage. As you said, I tend to throw myself in fire quite often. Are you ready to take that into account as you court me?" I bit into my now cold and soggy burger with the hunger of a starving. God, thank you for your blessings. I didn't realize how hungry I was - I need to keep that in check. "Lightning is acting like Francesco didn't come prepared. I heard you moan another man's name and didn't stop loving you." I flinched but kept eating. Loving is a strong term to use casually. I wiped my lips and looked at him with a smile. "Well, for you to win, I need you to train something. We need Mater for that."