Her Broken Vow ✔

HBV 14: Lost

Aaron

When Sofia returned at home, I started to have thoughts. I think it's in between the good and bad side.

My decisions are screwed for now. A part of me wants to give Joanna perhaps a chance? But I don't really know. Magulo pa ang lahat para sa akin kaya pinili ko na lamang na magkulong dito sa aking kuwarto hangga't nag-iisip pa ako ng maaaring hakbang.

"Daddy?" Napalingon ako sa aking anak na kanina pa pala ako kinakausap.

"Yes baby?" I smiled genuinely, she's really my strength and support.

"Are you okay po ba? Spaced out ka po." Lumapit ako sakaniya at marahang hinawakan ang kaniyang kamay bago magsalita.

"Of course, I'm fine. How about you?"

"Okay na okay na rin po ako daddy kaya I'm asking po if pwede po tayo manood ng movies mamaya?" She seems very excited about the thought of movies so I agreed without hesitation.

"Sure, anak. I'll fix my room later so we can watch here."

"Pero isama po sana natin si Ate Joanna kasi po, I really feel bad kasi 'yung nung adobo po diba."

Sa kaniyang sinabi ay saglit akong napatigil, my decisions aren't coming together but I came up with the safest answer.

"Ask her, whatever she says."

"Yay, thank you daddy!"

After we spoke, Sofia immediately went downstairs to ask Joanna, that gave me more time to think peacefully.

Ayaw kong makagawa nanaman ng isang pagkakamali, I want everything to come in place without hurting someone.

But being hurt is unavoidable right?

Kahit anong pag-iingat pa ang gawin natin, at some point, masasaktan pa rin tayo...

Enough with these negative thoughts, sinimulan ko na lamang na ayusin ang aking k'warto para sa panonood na magaganap mamaya.

With or without Joanna, magiging maayos kami ni Sofia.

It took be about one hour to fix everything and make it a theater type room. Naglapag ako ng makapal na carpet with pillows on the side to make it comfortable since I don't allow foods on the bed.

Mahirap maglinis at maglaba, for the past seven years I've been doing all the chores at home. Naging hands on ako kay Sofia, I didn't trust anybody that time because of the pain that came with trust.

Matapos maglinis ay napagpas'yahan ko munang maligo.

I've been in the shower for almost thirty minutes, contemplating about things while trying to keep my mind focused. Sakto namang nakapagbihis na ako tsaka ko narinig ang katok sa pinto at pagtawag ni Sofia sa akin mula sa labas.

"Daddy! We're ready, okay na po 'yung foods!" Halata sa boses niya ang pagka-excited kaya naman agad kong binuksan ang pinto.

"Alright, come in baby." I smiled once again while she hurriedly went inside.

Then I saw Joanna standing at the doorway, so she's watching with us. Hindi ko alam ngunit hindi ako makaramdam ng galit sakaniya sa ngayon. Tinanguan ko lamang siya at niluwagan ang pagbukas ng pinto bago naunang pumasok sa loob.

I saw her follow using small steps and when she finally entered, napansin kong napatigil siya sa paglalakad.

Siguro ay nagbalik sa kaniyang alaala ang aming nakaraan. Nakaraan na minsan nang nakalimutan.

Eventually we settled down, that's when tons of questions came into my mind. What if she didn't leave before? Ano kaya ang magiging buhay namin ngayon?

But even though I try to search for an answer, it will forever be invalid because these thoughts will forever be what ifs.

Nasa kalagitnaan na kami ng panonood about a movie entitled 'Inside Out' at tutok na tutok si Sofia at Joanna sa palabas.

It gave me time to look at them secretly. Now, I can see their resemblance lalong lalo na sa mata. Their eyes showcases a lot of emotions.

'I... I Know You Don't Want Me To, But... I Miss Home...'

I heard those words from a character in the movie while looking at Joanna and I felt a warm nostalgic feeling covering my whole being.

I know, I don't want to but I miss her. I miss my Joanna.

We watched three more movies before I told Sofia that she needs to go to bed. Kinailangan ko rin na magpanggap na inaantok na dahil hindi matutulog si Sofia nang walang kasamang matulog.

I tried to drift off too but unfortunately, my thoughts were still wide awake. Joanna is at our side, sleeping peacefully in a sitting position. Balak ko sanang ayusin ang kaniyang pagkakatulog pero naramdaman ko ang kaniyang paggalaw.

Dahil do'n ay umakto pa rin akong mahimbing na natutulog. Nakiramdam lamang ako, I stayed silently still.

I heard her small footsteps kahit na halatang sinusubukan niyang 'wag gumawa ng kahit na anong ingay.

When I felt her left the room, I made up my mind. Tumayo rin ako at balak ko sana siyang sundan upang makapag-usap kami ng masinsinan.

Nang makababa na ako, tatawagin ko sana siya dahil mukhang papasok na siya sa kaniyang silid ngunit nilagpasan niya lamang ito.

That's when I started to think about something, what is she up to this time?

Lumabas siya ng bahay, bago ko siya sundan ay sinet ko muna ang alarm at automatic lock ng bahay para sa kaligtasan ni Sofia.

Then, I silently followed her trying to not make any kind of noise. Joanna looks so disoriented kaya baka 'di niya napapansin na may nakasunod sa kaniya.

Her tracks stopped on a near park inside our village.

What is she doing here in this time?

I saw her trying to find something or someone. I felt myself tensed up a bit ngunit hindi pa rin ako gumawa ng kahit anong aksyon.

Nakita kong lumabas mula sa malaking puno ang isang tao na nakasuot ng makapal na jacket.

A guy?

Kahit na sobrang emosyon ang aking nadarama sa hindi malamang dahilan ay hindi pa rin ako nagpakita sakanila.

What am I waiting for? I don't know either.

I saw them talk to each other but their voices are barely audible. Masyado akong malayo sa kinaroroonan nila.

Nakatalikod sa aking gawi si Joanna habang ang kaniyang kausap ay nakatagilid, hindi ko masyadong maaninang ang kaniyang mukha dahil sa kakulangan ng liwanag.

They're still speaking for I don't know how long already but I still waited.

I looked away for a couple of minutes to calm myself. But when I returned my gaze on their place...

I saw them hugging one another. I tried to close my eyes and mentally slap myself baka kasi nanaginip lang ako eh...

baka kasi hindi siya si Joanna.

But then I realized, real eyes realize real lies.

Was everything a lie?

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