SWAT Short Stories

[Stris] I Choose You (post 4x02)

"I just wanted you to know it was never one-sided; I always loved you, too."

*General*

"Chris?" Jim questioned as he walked towards his partner's figure sat on the steps of Molly Hick's porch.

Jim was shocked to see Chris at his temporary home, considering she had shut down his offer to visit and left with a harsh slam to their locker room door. The two hadn't spoken since.

"Are you okay?" He asked the short-haired woman as he sat directly next to her on the steps.

"Yeah," Chris said with hesitation as she scooted away from Jim. "I'm sorry I showed up on Molly's stairs. I just needed to talk to you, and I saw that your car wasn't here, so I decided to wait on the steps. I didn't want to bother Molly if she was in a meeting or something."

"She wouldn't have minded, but it's all good. I was kind of hoping you'd change your mind about visiting anyways."

Jim looked over at Chris with a small but sad smile.

"I didn't mean for that conversation to go the way it did," Chris said as she looked away.

"You have no obligation to me, Chris," Street said with a sigh. "Even if I wish you did."

"I said I came here to talk to you, but that's not entirely true," Chris said as she looked back at him. "I actually came here to tell you my truth, for you to listen, and then for me to leave hopefully without wrecking your life."

"You can't tell me anything that would wreck my life or our friendship," Jim said with confidence as he squeezed Chris' hand before letting go.

Chris sighed. 

"I wouldn't count on that," she mumbled to herself.

"Jim," Chris started as she looked him in the eyes. "I've been in love with you from day 1. I tried really hard to stick to my own rules. I kept telling myself that I had done it for years and that you were no different. That was naive of me because you are different; we are different from anything I have ever experienced in my life. First, you were my teammate, then my friend, then my best friend, and somewhere along the way, you became so much more to me. I feel attached to you, almost like you're part of my identity. Somewhere along the way, I stopped envisioning my future with a random person and started seeing it with you. My life has never been so consumed with one person. And then, when I thought things couldn't get worse, I nearly died, and when I subconsciously had to choose between moving on or coming back, my only reaction was to fight to come back to you because I wanted that dream life with you. And then I got scared. You gave me every opportunity to have my dream, and I ran away cold and scared. I deserve what came after that. You met an amazing girl and moved on. I'm not asking you to go back to the past. I'm not asking you to choose me; in fact, I'm begging you not to. You're happy, and I'm happy for you. But I needed to tell you the truth so we can move on. I'm going to walk away here shortly, and we never have to have this conversation again. I want you to walk into this house and commit to your future because you deserve that. You deserve to be happy. I just wanted you to know it was never one-sided; I always loved you, too, Jim Street."

Chris gave Jim's hand a slight squeeze, then wiped the few tears that had fallen on her face before getting up and slowly walking away from the porch.

"You said loved as if I stopped loving you," Jim said loud enough for Chris to hear.

She stopped dead in her tracks and spun around quickly on her heels. This time Chris didn't even attempt to wipe away the tears streaming steadily down her face.

"I never did," Jim finished his thought in a low voice.

"You told me I didn't have to choose," Jim said as he stepped closer to Chris. "But I choose you, Christina. Every day for the rest of my life, I choose you."

The two were so close now that Jim could wipe some tears away from Chris' face with his thumb before pulling her into a tight hug.

"I love you," he whispered to her as he kissed her temple.

"I love you, too, Jim," Chris whispered back. "I guess love was enough this time."

Neither Jim nor Chris were prepared for the following conversation Jim would have with Molly or any future discussion they'd have with others concerning their relationship. It wouldn't be a fairytale by any means, but they would always choose each other above anything else.

[END]

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[written 11.14.20 - edited 9.15.2021 + 3.31.2022]

So, this is the first full piece I've written post car accident. If you didn't know, back in August I was the passenger in a pretty serious car accident. I was left with a broken collarbone and permanent nerve damage from my elbow leading into half of my dominant hand. I've learned to write and type again without feeling half my hand. It's been a struggle, but I set a goal to be writing again by the time season 4 began airing, and I met that goal without hurting myself in the process. This isn't the longest piece (or the best) I've ever written, but I'm so proud just to be writing again. I hope you enjoyed it despite its flaws. Thank you for the well wishes and for bearing with me over the past several months. I hope you'll continue to read these and be patient with me as I adjust to my new normal. 

If you have sent a request/prompt over the past few months, know that I have them saved, and I'm working through them as I am physically able and have inspiration. 

I'll see you guys soon! <3 -Sharna