Chapter 29 - the first announcement

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The days, the weeks passed. After installing teepees, we built some wooden buildings. Step by step, we found a new rhythm of life. These lands were good, we were able to start vegetable plantations. Besides that, we hunted and picked the berries still present at the end of summer.

We resumed the watchtowers around the camp, as in the band's time. We wanted to be sure of the safety of the surroundings. There were no one around for miles, and it took more than an hour on horseback to reach the first "city". It was just a collection of three to four buildings, comprising a general store, a gun store and a post office.

But vigilance was still required. Miraculously, we managed to sow the US military. Of course, they were not allowed to intervene on this side of the border. But if they decided to attack all the same, who would stop them? It would take days, maybe weeks, before such an event goes back to the ears of Canadian authorities.

Our days were busy, between everyday tasks and establishing a permanent place to live. So much so that weeks passed without Charles and I having the opportunity to sit down alone to discuss our new life. Because of the watchtowers, we often slept offbeat. But we shared the same teepee, and a few hours of sleep in common, one against the other. Once or twice, we did a little more than sleep.

But again, we did not put words on our relationship, on our future. We were just two friends, taking advantage of the other's presence to comfort us after these difficult months.

---

A crystal laugh made me look up as I prepared dinner. A smile appeared on my lips. I knew from what mouth that laughter had escaped. Ehawee. Leaving my work, I walked over to see who had managed to restore her natural good humor. A few steps further, my heart sank.

Charles was responsible for this new joy. He was laughing too, unable to look away from her. Seeing them so accomplices made me sad, but I couldn't explain it to myself. I shook my head before returning to work. He was just friendly. He had the right to have other friends than me.

I tried to get that jealousy out of my head. But I couldn't stop my brain from rehashing the events of the past few weeks. Every little exchange between them came back to me. It was not the first time I saw them together. I had no idea what they could be talking about when I was too far away to hear them. I chased away these ideas. It had to stop thinking about it. It wouldn't do any good.

---

One morning, when September was well advanced, I saw Charles mount his horse and leave the camp. I asked Ehawee who had accompanied him to his mount.

"He said he had errands to run. He'll return later."

I frowned. What errands could he possibly have to do? Why didn't he tell me about it? I didn't like that sudden distance between us. When he returned a few hours later, I immediately felt that something was wrong. A good part of the day passed without my being able to approach him.

At the end of the afternoon, I returned to our teepee to rest. As I closed my eyes, a rustle was heard. Charles had entered. I sat up to greet and question him. But he did not answer me, fleeing from my gaze. Something had happened, I felt it deep inside.

He knelt beside me, looking at me for a moment before kissing me. Strongly, desperately. He pressed on my shoulders to make me lie down. Without further ado, he pulled up the skirt I wore that day. Without a word, without a look, he crept into me. His forehead resting against my collarbone prevented me from seeing his face.

I didn't understand what was happening to him. There was neither tenderness nor passion. He acted like a man trying to relieve himself with the first girl who passed by. The thought gripped my heart. And yet, I let him do. Because as desperate and brutal this exchange was, feeling his skin against mine soothed me.

When he was finished, I tried to meet his gaze, to question him silently. But he avoided me methodically, pulling up his pants before going out, mumbling that he had things to do. I stood stunned for a moment, trying to make sense of all this. Then I readjusted my skirt and parted the sides of the teepee to try to observe him from a distance. I no longer recognized him.

---

Later, we all met around the fire for dinner. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, trying to get the slightest clue as to the reason for his behavior. My concern grew when I saw him follow Rain Falls in his teepee. I've never felt so out of the way.

When they came out, Charles looked serious. Our eyes met. I questioned him silently, but he just looked away. I did not insist any more, going back to the conversation around me. They spoke in their native language and I tried to understand as much as possible. I had learned many words in the past few weeks, but I still could not speak or understand the long conversations.

Little by little, our companions went to bed. Soon there was only us left. He came to sit near me. Looking up into the fire dancing before me, I asked in a voice that lashed the air.

"You're finally decided to tell me what's wrong?"

He nodded but said nothing for long moments. I did not press him. I knew that what he was going to tell me was not going to please me. I feared the worst... Rightly so.

"I heard from the south... Arthur... Arthur is dead. I don't know what the others have become, but apparently the Pinkerton attacked them. So, it can't be good."

I nodded, biting my cheeks so as not to cry. I expected it, I prepared for it. But nothing really prepares for loss, and tears were already running down my cheeks. He moved closer to me and squeezed my hand. I felt like he hadn't told me everything, but I wasn't sure I could hear more.

"Let's go to sleep" he said, training me in our teepee. I lay down next to him and fell asleep crying in his arms.

-----

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know you all love Charles, AND I DO TO. But I'm tired to see him always so perfect, doing the good thing. He's a human after all, he has the right to make mistakes and bad things to people he cares about. I think right now he's suffering, and he doesn't know how to handle his feelings.

Next chapter is coming in a few hours! I wanted a net separation between the 2 parts, but I feel they're going together so I post them both right away (+ to be honest I can't wait to see your reaction). I just have to read proof the next one before posting it but I don't have time to do it right now. 

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