Save Me From Myself

Chapter Eighteen - What Are We Going To Do Now?

Following the arrest of Cole everything slowly, but surely became normal again. I was no longer the talk of the town and I could walk properly. I had a very subtle limp but it didn't effect anything. My senior year was slowly drawing to a close. I had about a week left. It was crazy thinking about everything that happened this year.

Everything that I've been through. All the people that I've met. My journey to happiness. I never thought I would be lucky enough to be happy. I never thought those cards were in my future. But they are now.

I'm sitting in my last therapy session with Nadine's mom. She brought me a homemade cupcake to congratulate me. "So, it's all coming to an end," she says.

I smile softy, "Yeah, I guess it is. I want to thank you. A lot of this wouldn't have been possible without you."

"Oh no, I'm so happy seeing you right now. I'm not looking at the same person I was a few months ago. Do you feel different?"

I nod, "I finally feel alive."

She stands and opens her arms to me. I give her a hug and she returns it tightly. "Well, let's get going."

I pull back confused, "Going?"

"Yep. Nadine's not coming to get you this time."

She provides no further explanation. We grab our things and leave her office. As we step outside I take a deep breath. It was finally warming back up again. We get in her car and she drives me to her house. All the lights are off. It was very obvious what was happening but I wouldn't ruin the surprise.

We make it into the house and as soon as the door closes the lights flicker on and, "Surprise!"

I take in everybody that's here. Nadine, Jack, Thomas, Karlie, the boys, my mom and ... Carmen?

Carmen left for school in January. We talk everyday and she says everything is going fine. I wasn't expecting her back so soon. My mom makes her way over to me first and wraps me in a hug. "I love you so much, baby."

I hug her back tightly, "I love you too."

I have to give it to her, she is the strongest woman I've ever met. She stuck by my side through thick and thin. She never made Carmen feel neglected and she stepped away from an unhealthy marriage. She was a superhero and she doesn't hear that I love her often enough.

I seek out Carmen next. She wraps me in a hug as well. "Hey sis. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you. So, who's this mystery guy you've been seeing?"

She blushes a deep red. "Nope, not today. This is all for you so go."

She pushes me away and I make my way around. Greeting and talking with everybody. I notice that Nadine isn't around so I slip upstairs in search of her. I find her in her room. She's sitting on her bed staring at a painting. I close the door and she looks up at me. Tears are streaking down her face.

"Oh my god, what's wrong?"

Nadine and I are better than ever. We have an open line of communication. We spend lots of time together but not too much that it's suffocating. She knows that I love her and she loves me too. I literally could not have asked for a better woman.

I sit next to her on the bed. "I'm fine. These are happy tears I promise."

I pull her into a hug. She hugs me back fiercely. "Damn, I love you so much," she whispers.

"I love you too."

We pull away but not very far. "What's got you so happy?"

"You. I've been granted the opportunity to be with someone as beautiful, strong, smart and radiant as you. I've watched a caterpillar stuck in it's cocoon become a butterfly. I could never ask for anything more than that."

She hands me the painting. It's a butterfly, that just emerged from it's cocoon. It's a deep blue with swirls of purple and pinks. It was quite beautiful. Definitely coming in as my second favorite painting by her. "Nadine, it's beautiful."

"It's for you. So that you always have a reminder of just how far you've come. And how you will continue to go farther."

I set the painting aside gently and pull Nadine into a deep kiss. It's hot and passionate and leaves me gasping for air after. I rest my forehead on hers and breathe deeply. I could never ask for anything more than this.

In the final days before graduation Nadine and I gather our families at my house. We each had an announcement to make. Carmen would be staying until my graduation day which I was grateful for.

We stood in the middle of the living room. Nadine takes a deep breath and goes first.

"As you all know, I want to go to school for the arts. Specifically dance and art."

She pulls out an envelope and opens the inside.

"I applied for California School of the Arts. This letter will tell if I am accepted or not."

She unfolds the letter and begins reading it aloud. "Dear Nadine. We want to thank you for applying to the California School of the Arts. We want to inform you that you have been accepted and -"

She doesn't even get to finish before we're all cheering and applauding. Her mom wraps her in a hug. She's crying but she's smiling so I know everything is alright. Nadine turns to me and I give her a kiss on the cheek. "Never thought you wouldn't make it."

"Thanks love. Now, it's your turn."

Everybody settles down so that I can tell them my news as well. "Well, for a long time I didn't think I would see this part of my life. Let alone decide what I do with it after I graduate. But I'm here now and I know."

I pause. "Margret has inspired me. I've been accepted into Stanford university and will major in Psychology."

I don't even try to finish. The celebration starts and Nadine and I are at the center of it. My mom order pizzas since she didn't have time to cook and we play music. Eventually Karlie and the boys show and we have a good old fashioned party.

As the night wears down everyone starts leaving. Nadine informs her parents that she's spending the night. I help mom and Carmen clean up before retiring to my room where Nadine is waiting for me.

She's already in some pajamas of mine and is staring at her acceptance letter. I start to undress. "How long have you had that," I ask.

"A few weeks."

"And you didn't open it?"

"I was too nervous."

I slip on pajamas and join Nadine in bed. I take the letter from her and set it on the table. "But you made it and that's all that matters."

Nadine looks at me. Her blue eyes stare into mine. It always felt as if every time she looked at me she was looking right into my soul.

"You're coming to California with me."

"Yeah, but we'll be a five hour drive from each other."

Nadine sighs. "So, what should we do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Be with you."

"You say that now but then you'll meet another woman who can actually dance and you'll just fall in love."

Nadine rolls her eyes, "What about you? You'll find some psychology hottie and you'll forget all about me."

"How about this? If by the end of our freshman year we're both still single, we get back together. If we're both still willing to make it work."

Nadine thinks it over. "Nah."

I raise an eyebrow. "No? You don't want to be together at all."

"I don't want to break up at all. How about if by the end of our freshman year, if our feelings have changed we break up?"

I smile. "Deal."

She kisses me and I cuddle into her side. I couldn't ask for anything more than this.