Their Souls Entwined

The Restless Mind

"Can she do that? Can the Seelie Queen just outright say she is going to have Clary killed if we don't do what she wants?" Simon asked the group as they sat in the library of the institute. By the time they had returned from the court, it was early morning; instead of sleeping, everyone rushed to the library to comb through all the books again, just in case they had missed something before. "The Seelie Queen can do what she wants, she does not care for the Clave's laws. I believe, she hopes we won't be able to stop this shadow demon, it will then allow her to seek her revenge and to go up against the Clave." Magnus replied, rubbing his temples, "I need a drink," he said finally. Simon gave him an amused look, "It's 9 in the morning." This made Magnus grin, it wasn't his usual perky grin though, this grin was tinged with sadness and exhaustion. "Oh, it's happy hour somewhere my little vampire." Alec gave his husband a disapproving yet affectionate glance. Jace and Clary sat in silence whilst everyone else contributed to the discussion. Clary was staring at the book in front of her, not reading it, just staring. When she did look up, Jace was looking at her and she could see the mixture of love and worry in his eyes. She felt a pang of guilt rise inside her as she looked at the love of her life. Abruptly, she set the book down and left the library knowing that if she stayed for another second, she would break down into tears. Clary didn't have a set destination, she just kept walking until she found herself in the greenhouse of the institute. She hadn't spent much time here before; it was a nice place to sit and think about your problems, which in her case was her impending death. She had just sat on a bench when she heard the footsteps behind her. Jace. He walked slowly towards her before sitting down next to her and wrapping her in his arms. She leaned into him and let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. For a moment, she forgot all of her problems, and then the guilt and self-loathing rose again. All I ever seem to do is hurt him. "Jace, don't." She spoke as if from a distance, and she felt him tense as she said the words. 

The guilt she had felt before intensified when she saw his face, a mixture of hurt and confusion wrote across it. "Have I do something wrong?" He said, his voice uneven. Now she was hurting him, she didn't want to hurt him, that was the last thing she wanted to do. She could hurt herself though; she could tell Jace that he shouldn't love her. Her voice shook as she whispered the words, "No. No, you haven't. I have." She took his hands in hers, "You've done nothing but make me happy, happier than I've ever been, but I've done nothing but hurt you." Tears were stinging her eyes now, "All I've done since I first got here; is put people in danger, got people hurt and got people killed. Simon and Magnus could have died last night because of me, because of my family." She was pleading with him now. "You need to leave me," she said, "because I can't leave you." He looked at her as if she were insane before he cupped her face in his hands, "Clary I know you; I know you think you need to punish yourself for your brother's actions, but you don't. You've been punished enough. I won't let you take responsibility for other people's doings; we all make our own choices." He rested his forehead against hers and whispered, "I could never leave you, Clary. I could never be without you. You are my reason to wake up in the morning, my reason to come home at night, my reason to live." And you're my reason, Clary thought to herself, but she shook her head, "I can't have anyone else get hurt because of me. Jace, I won't be able to bear that." He wiped the tears from her face slowly before speaking again, "No one is going to get hurt, because we are going to find a way to end all of this." He drew her into a tight embrace, telling her that everything was going to be okay. This time she held onto him, with all the strength she had, allowing everything else to slip away. No one else's hugs were like Jace's, she felt a different kind of safe and warm in his arms, and she could feel the tingles going down her spine when his breath tickled her neck. After a while, she pulled back and looked up at him; the sun had caught his hair, turning it an even brighter shade of gold. She couldn't help but smile, "Not a hair out of place," she sniffled as she ran a hand tenderly through it. Her eyes travelled back down to his, which were looking back at hers, and she could see her reflection in them as he smiled at her. He caught her hand and kissed it before speaking, "Promise me something, Clary. Promise me that if you ever feel this way, you'll come and talk to me about it instead of running away." She nodded slowly, "I promise," she whispered, giving him a grateful look before putting her arms around him once more, and hugging him. The exhaustion had caught up with her, and she had ended up falling asleep in the greenhouse, her head resting in Jace's lap whilst he ran his fingers through her coppery red hair.

She was woken by voices; groggily, she sat up and saw Alec striding towards them, a smile on his face. "Alec, have you found something?" She asked, she couldn't help but get her hopes up. He nodded as he came to stand before them, "Do you remember the story of Michael, Lucifer and the Twinning rune?" Of course, they remembered it; Michael had separated himself from Lucifer using the sword Glorious. It was from that story, they discovered they could separate Clary from Jonathan. Both Clary and Jace nodded simultaneously, "Yeah, why?" Jace asked. "Well, after the two had been separated, Lucifer began to change. The book describes Lucifer sprouting dark wings and a silhouette rising from his remnants; which sounds a lot like what the Seelie Queen described had happened with Jonathan's 'rebirth'." Clary remembered the Seelie Queen's words, "A fallen angel". It was Jace who spoke, "Is there anything in the book which describes what happened to the demon, it couldn't have just disappeared." Alec produced a torn piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to them, "It didn't. When Jonathan Shadowhunter asked Raziel to mix his blood to create Shadowhunters, Raziel did so and gave him The Mortal Instruments. He also gave Jonathan Shadowhunter a dagger, whose metal had been infused with his blood. The blood of an angel. The dagger isn't mentioned in history much because it was destroyed later that day when Jonathan killed his first demon with it. A shadow demon." If Alec had been expecting a hurrah, he would have been disappointed. He looked at the two of them with confusion, "Guys, this is good news," he said. Clary spoke now, "But we don't have Raziel's blood, and we can't call on him again." Alec gave them a small smile before responding, "We might not have Raziel's blood, but you two have Ithuriel's".