Teach Me How To Live -~Zen Wistaria x Reader~-

Home Late Consequences

8407 words😎✌

Your POV

The short week I had with my friends passed by so quickly.. Once dropping me off at the castle, Obi immediately got ready to leave for a few months. I stayed with Zen and the others during that time but Shirayuki was with Obi helping him pack. Ill miss them all a lot but I know I'll see them soon enough. When they had to leave, Zen gave me a letter. He said i wasn't allowed to read it till I couldnt see their carraige anymore. He said that he couldn't tell me this face to face so he had to write it for me.
I watched the carriage dissappear behind trees before sitting down on the clean steps outside and opened the letter. It said the following,

"Dear Y/n,

I couldnt tell you this in person because I didnt want to see you cry again. It seems like im the only one who makes you cry every time. Im sorry for that..
My brother, Izona, is marrying soon. His ball was successful and he found a woman he truly loves. I didnt think it was possible for him to ever love anyone but he'll be getting married a week before the 25th of December. The bad news is that we can't have our offical marriage meeting till 2 months after that. Believe me please, I've fought all i could for it to happen even before then but i don't have any control over it. I thought that maybe when i came to visit you we could have called it our offical meeting but the king wont allow that so we'll have to wait. That also means any wedding plans will be pushed back as well..
Attached to this letter is my brothers invitation to his wedding. We'll still see each other but we can't call it offical still. I'm sorry, Y/n. Just know I'll always love you no matter how much time passes us by. Even if we never become offical to the public, ill still call you mine and ill hope you'll do the same. I'll see you again soon in Clarines and I'll continue to write you everyday. At the end of the month I'll send you my letters like before.

With love, Zen"

With love.. Im tired of hiding this from everyone.. I just want to be with him..
I sat on the steps with tears streaming down my cheeks and onto the letter Zen wrote me. He just didn't want to see me cry.. I dont want to cry over this but I can't help it. I wish we were married now. I wish i was his officially forever. I wish these stupid marriage meetings didn't matter.
Guards watched me cry but didn't say anything. I suppose ill be alone from now on. I read the pretty invitation I received. Izona was marrying a woman I had never heard of before but after getting married he'll be announced as king..
I slowly rose back to my feet as I wiped my eyes clean. I guess ill continue working hard then.. the first thing I did when I got back inside was going to my room, grabbed my quilt and laid down alone in the big greenhouse on the floor. I laid there for a long while and even skipped dinner. Raji came to see me just as the sun went down. He was confused and worried once he saw me laying around.
"Y/n, did you receive an invitation for Izona's weddings as well? I don't think the date's right" he asked and stopped in front of me.
"It is.. The marriage meeting is on hold till February.. maybe longer.." i muttered as i looked up to the roof and was laying on my back.
"What?! Is Zen okay with this?" He shouted out of anger.
"Why would he?.. Theres nothing we can do but keep waiting.." i answered slowly and quietly.
"You shouldn't have to wait anymore! Why can't you skip the stupid interview and just marry him already?" He shouted back.
"Because thats not how things work.." i muttered.
"But you love each other!" He continued.
"I know.. But the king and izona want it this way.. Because we're royal, we don't have the luxury to do what we want.. if we did, then i would be in Clarines still just as Y/n Moon, not a royal.." i sighed and sat up. "Im sorry I've been acting so sad recently. I'll be okay by tomorrow morning and start working again" I told him with a small smile.
"But Y/n, there has to be something we can do! Maybe we can talk to father about this" raji tried but I can't listen to it anymore. Theres no hope, we can't move things along, we just have to wait.
"No Raji." I said quickly as i stopped, "Ill continue waiting. Ill be with him soon enough but now I must worry about this kingdom" I said as i looked towards the door, "speaking of which, have you ever thought about lowering or taking off all boarder fees?" I asked suddenly.
"Wh-What?" He stuttered in confusion as i began to lead us out and back to the castle.
"I had no idea you had to pay to enter our country. I think it should be demolished, why must you pay to come and go?" I asked curioisly.
That conversation started our new work from now till its completed. I moved on from the day and tried to keep moving on but I missed having obi with me still. Raji and I talked to father about what i had mentioned about eliminating the fee for coming and going at the boarders. He said we take in a lot of profit that goes towards our army's so we couldnt get rid of it completely but maybe lowering it was a good idea. Father and I had to sit down and talk about this for a while though.
"Y/n, where did you get these ideas about lowering tax and fees? This is normal across all countries so why do you think its such a problem?" Father asked as we sat across from each other in the greenhouse at a small table.
"I wasnt raised with much money and I thought other people were probably like me too. The villagers in the mountains first told me about the fees at the boarders and I hadnt ever heard of them before. They said it was expensive to come and go but traveling already is expensive" I explained slowly.
"I see where you're coming from.. So should we lower the fee for people with low income or for everyone?" He asked while thinking to himself.
"There would be big argument for that. If we lowered it for everyone than there wouldn't be any fighting but if we lowered it too much than the army could suffer.." i said and thought to myself. "What if we cut it by a quarter? It wouldn't be too much and the lower income people would be happy that its lower anyway" i asked. Father's smile grew when i suggested that.
"I think thats a wise decision, Y/n. You've grown to be quite the dependable woman, havent you?" He smiled as we stood up from our little table.
"I feel like im more of a peace maker, actually" i giggled.
"That you are" he nodded and walked with me back to the warm castle from the greenhouse. Its already November now and its so cold outside. "And about the situation with Zen, im very sorry to hear your meeting is being pushed off even longer. If there was a way to shorten that time I would have already but unfortunately its not in my hands" he explained to me.
"Oh, thats alright. All good things come with time. Waiting longer will only make going back home even better" i told him with a smile.
"Thats my girl.." he smiled and rubbed the top of my head. "Lets go get some hot chocolate now, im freezing!" He told me and lead the way to the kitchen.
"Me too" i giggled and followed after him.
It took 2 weeks for tanbarun to offically lower the boarder taxes. It seems the news was so great that many people took a trip back home for the holidays in early December. During that time in early December, snow had began to fall but it didnt stop my family from taking a very short trip to town to see that beautiful painting I once saw. Father even came with us! We didnt take a royal carriage though, we took one that looked a little more plain so it wouldn't catch attention. We never got out of it, well, I did for a minute actually. I bundled up the best i could and took a step out into the cold snow. The sun shined down and warmed what it could. The paint on the wall was still there and hadnt been chipped. It looked perfect.
"Y/n, when in the world did you sign this?" Raji shouted from the carriage.
"I visited with my friends for a day. It was the day it was being painted and the artist asked me to sign it." I explained as I took a step towards the market.
"Where are you going?" Rona shouted.
"Ill meet you back! I have to meet up with someone!" I shouted and kept taking more steps back.
"Y/n, you shouldn't be out here alone" father spoke up.
"I promise ill be back by dinner, bye!" I shouted before anyone could convince me to stay and ran off. I ran right into the market, poofy dress and all. Well, I was wearing the cloak shirayuki gave me as well and something warmer under that. The maids temporarily sowed a thick layer of wool under for me to stay warm.
"Is the princess really back?" Someone asked happily from behind.
"Oh shoot.." i muttered and stopped in my place.
"It is you isnt it?" When i turned around, shirayuki's grandmother stood with a smile.
"Yes, I am" i sighed in relief.
"Your siblings were with you in that carriage too, weren't they?" She asked as the two of us walked together.
"Yes, the king too. I wanted to show them the painting on the wall" i said with a warm smile.
"Th-The king?" She stuttered in surprise.
"Yes, hes here as well" i giggled, "What are you doing out here in this cold weather for?" I asked kindly.
"Oh, just shopping. I think ill send shirayuki something. Oh, where is Obi?" She asked suddenly and looked around me. I guess shirayuki and obi never mentioned anything about him going back..
"I sent him back home to Clarines in late October" i told her softly as i stopped to look at one of the stalls.
"Why in the world would you do that? Tell me its not because of my granddaughter" she asked in disbelief.
"He didn't deserve to be cooped up here all day. At least in clarines he'll have something to do instead of wasting his time standing around" i explained as i picked up this little chain. On the end it had a little blue flower frozen in resin.. What if i put these on mine and Zen's swords? We could match!
"But he was the only one you had in this country.. How have you been since then? Not too sad I hope" she asked as i picked up 2 of the blue chains and took out some money from my purse.
"Yes, I may be without my friends but I still have my family to keep me company. Plus, now that obi isn't here, I can work a little harder." I said as i handed the woman selling these chains my money. She was so cold that she didn't even look up. She bundled up well but she's still freezing, it amazes me how these vendors stay out all year just to keep a good income of money everyday.
"Work harder? Last i heard you lowered the boarder fee! What more could you do for us? And all that studying you do is sucking the life out of you! You should be with your friends not working so hard" grandma explained to me.
"I know but I really don't mind. In about 6 months to a year ill be back in clarines hopefully for my wedding but it seems like that day keeps getting put off for one reason or another" i said as i took the packaged chains from the nice woman and continued to walk on.
"Oh no.. Did something happen?" She asked worriedly.
"Well.. Prince Izona is marrying this month. I should be leaving in a few days to go to clarines for the wedding.." i answered softly.
"But your metting with prince Zen!" She gasped.
"Yes, canceled till at the very least February.." i sighed as i came up to another vendor. There were little glass sculptures of amazing things. Some were animals, objects, and even plants. Maybe shirayuki's and kiki would like something like this for a present for the holidays?..
"February?.." she muttered in shock, "You must have been heart broken when you heard.." She muttered and put her hand on my shoulder.
"Zen wrote me a letter before he left. He said i couldnt read it till they were gone because he didn't want to see me cry.." i said with a bit of embarrassment.
"He must have been sad as well then.. But you'll be in clarines soon and you'll at least see him again" she comforted me as i picked out these two tall roses. They were one of the bigger glass pieces and expenaive but beautiful. Id like to think that when my friends see flowers they think of me. If I ever die, id like to be represented by flowers like how my mother always reminded me of the wind.
"Youre right. I guess i will get to see him more often now because of this" i smiled. These roses were completely different in color and shape. The petals vary and the colors are different and iridescent.
"Princess?.. Is that you?.." the elderly woman behind this table asked and stood up.
"Yes, ma'am. Would it be alright if I bought these from you?" I asked her with a kind smile as she gently took the roses from my hands.
"Ill give them to you for no cost for all the things you've been doing for this kingdom" she told me with a soft smile as she began to wrap the glass in paper.
"O-Oh, no I can't!" I told her quickly.
"Of course you can, dear. Not only have you lowered taxs and the boarder fee but you've given much joy to this country because of your visits. You always bring a smile to everyones faces" she said as she gently places the wrapped roses in my bag.
"Then let me continue to share. I dont have a need for this money anyway" i smiled as i placed the money to pay for these roses in her fragile hands.
"Thank you, princess. You never fail to warm our hearts" she said as she placed the money down and held my hand with a smile.
"Thank you for keeping faith in me. I'll keep doing my best to protect this place" I smiled and nodded.
"We know you will" she nodded as we split ways.
"What did i tell you, princess?" Grandma asked with a soft laugh. "These people adore you for your kindness" she told me.
"Being kind is what a person should be. Just because you have a title doesn't me squat unless you're a good enough person to take care of it" i told her proudly while she laughed.
"Youve got quiet the colorful language for royalty. I suppose it has to do with your family that passed. You did spend the most time with them afterall" she said smiling.
"Yes, it is their fault but im glad i have such a language" i giggled.
"Tell me, have you been rubbing off on the other royals lately?" She asked as we stopped at another vendor selling these amazing throwing knifes! They look perfect, like something my father would make! Obi would love to have these.
"Rubbing off? How so?" I asked with a smile and raised eyebrow as I picked up one of the little knives.
"H-Hey, um, be careful with those miss. They're very expensive and sharp!" The man told me worriedly.
"Dont worry, I know what I'm doing" I told him with a little grin and I slid finger down the blade. Its not that sharp but I could fix that.
"Your kindness and ability to speak to us normal people like you do" grandma continued.
"Pfft- the only reason raji, rona, and Eugena don't talk to you like I do is because they didnt grow up in these towns. They're nervous too, y'know?" I laughed as i set down that knife and picked up another.
"Princess?.." the man muttered as i looked up to him.
"Yes, thats me" i giggled a bit.
"P-Pardon my rudeness! I had no idea it was you!" He shouted suddenly and bowed to me.
"Shh, its alright but don't tell the whole town im here" i patted his shoulder with a smile. "Id like to buy a few of these. How many do you have in this shape and color?" I asked the man and showed him the knife I thought obi would like the best.
"About 10 or so, highness" he told me nervously and tried to calm down.
"Can I have half of them? I have a friend who would love to see these" i asked.
"O-Of course!" He said before scrambling to get the others.
"Ive noticed that your kindness almost makes people scared" grandma whispered to me.
"Scared?" i asked in surprise and tensed up, "i scare people? I'm hardly a royal!" I exclaimed.
"You might not have been here as long as the others, princess, but your a better royal than they ever hope to be.." the man told me with a sigh.
"Well, I hope that's not true" I smiled, "Raji has been helping me with everything thats changed since I've came to tanbarun. Hes the whole reason taxes and the boarder fee lowered! Without him, none of this could have happened. Not to mention the twins have been studying hard too" i told him proudly.
"I-I didnt realize. Im sorry for my rudeness princess.." he bowed again.
"Dont apologize and please stop bowing" i asked feeling a bit embarrassed.
"Princess, we should be going on now" grandma suggested.
"Oh!.." i hummed and got out more than enough money for those knives. "Thank you for your work, they look amazing" i told the man with a smile as i placed the packaged knives in my bag.
"B-But princess!-" he shouted and stopped me as soon as he saw the amount of money.
"Shh.." i hushed him with a smile before continuing on my way.
"You certainly know how to make a scene dont you?" Grandma asked as we looked around.
"Thats alright, I like talking to everyone. Its funny though, when i ran away from Alfin I hid myself and didnt even talk. I was so scared of everyone but now theres nothing to be scared of" i told her as i smiled at everyone I passed and waved. They all know im here now so there's no need in hiding it anymore.
"Its horrible what you've gone through but you've grown up into such a fine young woman" she told me and sounded so proud.
"Thank you" i giggled and nodded as i followed her to a vendor. I looked at the one next to it though because I saw something Mitsuhide might like.
"Princess, princess, princess!" A little girl shouted from behind me and came running.
"Hello! Are you looking for me?" I smiled as i turned around and got on my knee to see her smiling face.
"We're so sorry princess! We look away for one second and-" her mother tried to explain and came running behind the little girl.
"Oh, dont worry" i giggled as i cut her off.
"Princess, what are you doing back? Are you visiting?" The little girl asked happily.
"Well, I'm here to pick up some gifts for my friends in Clarines. What are you doing out here? Shopping too?" I asked with a smile. People looked at me a lot but they didn't crowd, they just went on with their business and looked a little happier.
"Yes! For my daddy, hes at work right now" she explained to me.
"Oh, I see. I hope you find what you're looking for then" i smiled as i rose back to my feet.
"You too, princess!" She shouted before hugging my legs. This isn't the same little girl from the day I announced my title but it seems like the kids really aren't too afraid of coming up to me, I'm glad.
"Lets go now" her mother smiled as she took her daughters hand then bowed to me before leaving.
"My princess, you're much kinder than I would have thought" the young woman selling items at this table told me.
"Ive often been told that but im not exactly kind, im just acting as a person should" i replied as i looked at these things. What would Mitsuhide like?.. "Hm.." i hummed as i placed my hand over Zen's watch under the fabric of my clothes. What should I buy?..
"Princess, is there something you're looking for?" She asked me kindly.
"Yes, I'm looking for a gift for my friend in Clarines but I have no idea what to get for him.." i sighed in defeat.
"Well.. The women have been buying little things like this for their partners" she explained as she pointed to this cute couples thing.
"He's definitely not my partner" i giggled, "if you're thinking of prince Zen then thats not the person im looking for" i explained to her with a smile.
"O-Oh, im sorry, princess!" She apologized.
"Dont you worry" i giggled to her.
"Princess, I think i found just the thing" grandma called to me so I walked back over to her side.
"What is it?.." i asked as i looked in her hand. Its some kind of charm.
"Obi told me he had a crush on a girl a while ago but hasn't had any luck so maybe this'll help" she explained as i took the charm from her hand.
"Mitsuhide is such an idiot.." i sighed, "that guy completely played kiki.. Well, maybe he can give this a try then. I doubt he got anywhere by now" i said as i took some money from my bag.. im completely out now.. i didnt think id spend this much money here..
We soon left the market and i was taken back to grandmas bar where she gave me a warm drink before I decided it was time for me to go home. It'll be a long walk... so i got on the road before it got dark. I had to take my time so I didn't break any of my gifts which kind of sucked because I was getting colder and colder every minute. I followed the road back up the tall mountain to the castle. I got back after dark and was freezing my butt off. Im way past curfew..
"Princess!" The maids gasped when they saw me.
"H-Hello, please dont tell my father I came home so late" I began through my shivers.
"Goodness! Girls, we have to get her warmed up quickly!" One said as she took my arm and quickly lead me through the castle to my room. "Ill start your bath and ask someoe to check you for frost bite once you're done, highness" she told me as i sat my bag on my bed and undressed from my cold cloak.
"I dont need any check ups, ill be okay" i told her just before my siblings ran in my room. Rona and Eugena hugged me right away as Raji began to yell in a pit of worry.
"I cant believe you walked all that way! Why did you even stay for so long!? You could have gotten hurt!" He shouted at me.
"B-Because..." i muttered and looked away.
"You're not allowed to go out anymore without someone accompanying you with at least one horse. You cannot walk all that way again especially in the freezing winter" he vented before sighing.
"I understand.." i muttered as Rona and Eugena loosened up.
"What did you bring back?.." Rona asked and touched my bag.
"Something for my friends in Clarines. I'm leaving soon so I thought i should bring these with me.. Oh shoot!-"i shouted suddenly and stood up which scared everyone around me. "I-I forgot to buy Prince izona an engaged present! Oh no, what am i gonna do?" I asked myself in a slight panic.
"Do not worry, father has already prepared a gift in advance" Raji sighed.
"Oh good.." i sighed in relief.
"Princess, your bath is waiting" the maid told me before bowing and leaving.
"Come on, lets let her get warmed up and we'll see her soon" Raji instructed the twins before they all left.
I sighed to myself after the door shut and left me in a dark room alone. I lit the lights on either side of my bed and one on my dresser before undressing. Its cold even inside.. I went to the bathroom and took a long time in there. I was mostly just thinking about what its going to be like when I get back to clarines.. I wonder whats changed.. I wonder why I haven't gotten Zen's letters yet.. i suppose it is only the 2nd day of December though and they did leave late October.. I miss him..
I got out of the bath after a long while and changed into one of my normal dresses. I don't normally wear this but I hate the poofy dresses and right now, no one will see me until I visit father to tell him what I was doing in town again..
Before that I pulled out Zen's sword from under my bed. It's been finished since last month but now I can put on that little chain I bought today. It won't get in the way of his sword work, it just dangles and its tied around the handle tight. It makes the sword look perfect.. I tied the other chain around mine next before wrapping up Zens sword and hiding it back under my bed.
"Princess, you father is calling you" a maid said at the door.
"Thank you, ill go see him now.." i smiled as i opened the door then walked out and shut it. She bowed before leaving.
Father isn't going to be happy.. I took my time walking alone down the long hallways. Because the sun is down, its also a little dark. I think being alone has started to take its toll on me. Although I say I'm alright because I have my family, im not actually with them most days. Normally I'm on my own in the garden or my office..
"Father, may I enter?" I asked after knocking on the door.
"You may!" He shouted. I slowly pushed one of the doors opened and walked in. There father sat on his throne like usual but there was a man there. Hes about Mitsuhides age I think.
"Im sorry about arriving back home so late. It won't happen again" I apologized after I stopped in the center of the room.
"I know you wont because you have a new attendant who'll stay by your side till instructed otherwise." He told me suddenly. My heart stopped when i heard that. Obi is gonna be mad when he hears this.. "After sending Obi back to Clarines you havent been the same and I believe its because you've been alone longer than you have before. I know you chose the best thing for him but you didn't choose the right thing for yourself." Father told me sternly.
"I dont need an aid nor do I want one." I said quietly with my eyes lowered to the floor. Its not that I don't like this new person, i just don't want anyone else around me..
"You do need someone by your side. Clearly things with Prince Zen in Clarines are going to take longer than expected-" he began as i clenched my fist and jaw, "so until then you will have Rue to be by your side. He will be here as your support and to make sure you get back home on time safely. The maids told me you might have gotten frost bite if you were out any longer" father told me. I know hes worried but I want to be left alone. I dont want to drag anyone else into my problems..
"Im sorry.. But i will not have another aid.. Good night, Father.." i muttered before turning around to the door.
"Y/n!" He shouted suddenly as i took my first step. I stopped in place and felt that old panic, the same kind of fear that I had towards Dominic.. I shouldnt be afraid but somehow its just instilled in me. "This is not your decision. Rue will be by your side starting tomorrow morning and won't leave you even while you're visiting Clarines." Father told me. I didnt answer though, I finished walking out. How should I deal with this? I dont want to be creul to this person but I want him to leave me alone forever. I dont want to have this new person next to me.. I wish Obi was back but I know he needs to be with shirayuki.. although, even if he was here I wouldn't have to keep this new aid.. Obi is gonna kill me..
I went back to my room and picked up my quilt, a piece of letter paper, a pen, my wax and stamp then took everything to the greenhouse. Im sure if I wrote to Zen then maybe ill feel better..
I set my things down were I normally would on the ground then laid down on my stomach and began to write.