Teach Me How To Live -~Zen Wistaria x Reader~-

Broken Chains

Counting the days were impossible underground. I wasn't kept near my father. I was held somewhere far deeper underground. I had a bed at least.. I was stripped of my old clothes and given nothing but mere rags. My numbness turned into embarrassment. The guards watched and laughed. They picked at me and touched me but I stayed where I was. I didn't speak or cry or move. My anger built inside me.. And so did my want to see zen. I grew angry at myself. I hated every bit of myself and I decided to take it out on someone eventually.

In my head I knew zen would never forgive me for what I've done. He'll never want to touch me after the hands that have been on me since I've gotten here. Worst of all, he'd be disappointed I didn't fight for myself. Well fine, he can be mad. He can hate me and never go near me or even look at me ever again but I will get back to him to him even if it kills me! I will get back to my family!

I will kill Dominic.

And I won't even feel bad for it..

So I let this play out. I let them have their fun poking at body and pressing my buttons. I waited for my moment.

"The weddings tonight but I won't let that guy have all the fun.." a guard spoke as the other touched my thighs. They're so at ease around me because I've shown I've given up.. Idiots..

I killed them. And I was right, I didn't feel bad.

No one knew. No one heard their deaths. Finally, im becoming everything those rumors were about me. Ruthless. A murderer. I couldnt care less. I didn't try to find my father. I wanted to find Dominic. I mercilessly slaughtered every troop that came by even if they surrendered. They'd never do that.

They lead me right to Dominic. I was drenched in blood. Bodies laid over the floors everywhere. I found him. He had-..

"Mn!-.." a muffled voice and chains rattled from a man chained to the floor. He's unharmed. He's full of energy. He looked me right in the eyes yet I breezed by him.

Zen.

"Y/n, my lovely bride," Dominic spoke in a tone I hadn't heard. He's mad. He carried a sword, my mother's. I kept walking closer and closer into the big room towards that man.

"Ah, ah, keep going and he'll die" he pointed mothers sword at zens back. I dropped the sword I stole and kept moving. "I told you to stop," Dominic said and cut a clean gash against zens shoulder. He's bleeding.. He's bleeding? He bleeding! Wh-What have I done?! What am I even doing now?!

Dominic started laughing out of nowhere when he saw the panic on my face. "Youre not so numb anymore, are you?" He laughed at me. "Was it the drugs that wore off or have you finally come to your senses? You can't act fine anymore"

"Dominic," I spoke as I met his eyes for the first time ever, "Marry me."

Zen is hurt badly. I can't save him. I can't do it, I can't do it!

"You think that'll save this prince?" Dominic asked laughing, "hes so helplessly in love, he came here alone just to get you. He arrived just this morning for our wedding. I sent him an invitation, wasn't that kind of me?"

"Marry me." I repeated.

"I suppose I could.. You'd have to beg for it though." Evil.. My body tingled and hurt. I didn't look at zen, I didn't look at the red seeping from his body. I didn't listen to his muffled plees..

I got down on my knees.. I lowered my head to the floor and begged like I was asked.

"Please marry me.. Take me.." I asked and wanted to die in this moment.

"Who do you love most? Me or him?" Dominic asked as he slowly stepped closer to me, filling me with anxiety.

"You, Dominic.. Im in love with you.." I answered painfully but hid it well. "Ill do anything for your love in return.."

Dominic crouched down and took my chin in his hand while his other hand set down his sword then tore down my shirt, ripping the weak fabric down the middle.. "Than you'll kill him.." he whispered before his lips attached to my neck. He bit me so hard there I couldn't help a cry that made him laugh.

Zen struggled to get loose. His muffled shouts were like sirens in my ears telling me to run away. "My life is not worth these kingdoms.. Ill give everything I have to you, dominic.." I tried to hide my whimpering as blood ran down my neck.

"You were mine since the moment you were born.." he grumbled against my skin before biting down on another spot causing me a shout in pain. I could see mothers sword close enough to me. I could do it now.. But what if he's wearing something protective under his clothes?..

"Always.." I muttered as I forced myself to feel up his chest. I began crying right here uncontrollable. I'm doing this in front of zen, im hurting him while destroying myself.

Dominic's hand ripped away the rest of my shirt. My chest was bare which exposed the torture zen had never seen before. The torture from those nights when my innocence were taken from me. The beatings and scars.. everything was there. Even through this pain, the embarrassment and tears, I kept feeling for something, anything. I searched this man for any weapons. I even dared reached my hands to his waist. What's worse, I forced myself to kiss him and crawl over the top of him. I sat on top of his waist and had finally found something. It was on his right side, strapped well against his hip a dagger.  I cried quietly to myself as I kissed this man, feeling him up and hurting zen by making him watch this whole thing.

Finally. God, finally I got that damned dagger..

And I stabbed him through the neck.

The was the quickest and least painful way to end it.

I was shaking. My breathe escaped me and my cries got so much louder. I was begging for help. For something to stop this pain.

"I can't do this anymore!" I screamed at myself in tears on the floor beside a dead man and the man I loved and hurt most. "I can't!.." I screamed tearfully as I gripped my hair and tried my best to rip it out.

"Nmnn!" Zens muffled screams and rattling chains set my mind into overload.

"I can't, I cant.." I whispered shaking my head, gripping my hair with one hand while another reached for mothers swords. "Please, I cant anymore.." I cried as I brought this sword to point at my abdomen. I'm so light headed. I see no other way to fix this than to die. Than to end this charade now while I still have the chance. I cried loudly in pain and conflict. I edged my own mother's sword just barely into my bare skin, drawing blood.

Zens seen everything. He's seen how far I'll go to protect the ones I love. He's seen just how out of my fucking mind I am.. And he'll watch me die as well.

I wish that's how I'd end.

The chains finally broke..