Soulmates - Steve Rogers x reader

I'm sorry

You had finally planned to confess to Steve your hands were shaking and you couldn't fight your nerves. You wanted to make it special for the both of you, you had booked a table at the vintage restaurant across the street were you would eat food and maybe even split a milkshake. Then you would head to Central Park were you had set a picnic and had planned to watch the stars together. You looked around making sure it was perfect. Wanda and Nat were helping you set up ad you knew they were just as excited as you. "He's going to love this y/n" spoke Wanda "especially if you wear this" Nat said holding a tight black fitted dress and golden heels . You laughed at them your face starting to turn red "you really think so" "I know so" said Nat. You smiled at them thanking them for their support. When you finally got back to the avengers tower you knocked on Steve's door and waited for him to reply. "Hey y/n we still on for movie night" "actually I was thinking we do something diffrent tonight" Steve smiled suddenly intrigued. "What were you planning" you smirked at him before leaning up and whispering into his ear "meet me at the vintage cafe across the street in an hour and dress nice". You made your way back to your room and started getting ready for tonight.

You got to the cafe five minutes before Steve and sat down at a table bouncing your knee in excitement. This was it you were finally going to confess, your heart started beating faster and your eyes were trained towards the window trying to spot him in the crowd of people. You waited ten minutes passed then fifteen then an hour. The waiters and waitresses were giving you pitiful looks and had given you a free chocolate milkshake. This was embarrassing, you shot out of your seat maybe you had told to meet him at Central Park instead of the cafe. You slapped your face and rushed out of the cafe heading to Central Park. When you finally got their you saw the blankets you had spread out on the cool green grass and the fairy lights enterwind in the trees your pillows were still where you left them and the food was uneaten. "Maybe he got lost" you whispered to yourself but it was unlikely Steve knew new York like the back of his hand.

You finally got back to the tower it was past midnight and everyone was asleep. You crept past the kitchen and into the elevator pressing the floor where you and Steve's rooms were. When the elevator doors open you let out a gasp of shock and felt like you wanted to vomite. In front of you stood Steve and Sharon they were embracing each other with their lips pressed together. Steve's hand went to brush sharons jaw and he deepened the kiss. The hand he had lifted up was the one with his soulmate mark and you could see the words mocking you. He knew sharon didn't love him back, but he couldn't resist. He leaned in a little closer, their foreheads touching. Dear god, he couldn't fight against the thoughts that were going through him. Her very smell was flooding his senses now. Sharon had reminded him you didn't love him that you never would that you would leave him the first chance you got that you only stayed because you were forced to. Steve knew it wasn't true but it was to late the words had echoed around in his head that's why he didn't go with you. Sharon's words finally got to him and he had met her later that night pulling her into a passionate kiss he didn't feel sparks fly only his heart breaking a little bit more.

This heartbreak feels cold. It feels like concrete drying in my chest. This heartbreak was unexpected, as they always are - top of the world one minute and cut down the next. Why is that? Is there part of you that dislikes to see me happy when you are miserable? You do know it is you I am trying to help, right? It is you I work so hard for? Perhaps this is your way of returning to the feelings you are most comfortable with, your chance to dwell in pain and pessimism once more. Yet I can't live there, can't dwell there. So come with me to happiness without throwing another spanner in the works. There are only so many times you can break this heart - one day it'll heal all wrong, heal with you on the outside. Thank you for breaking me; isn't that a line from Sinead O'Connor? I never understood it before. It used to sound like permission, albeit retroactive, to hurt someone. I get it now. Only a lover can wound so deep, cut to the very core. That level of trauma has to be an inside job. You broke me and watched me bleed. You saw me fail to eat, fail to sleep, and you kept on the pressure with your lies and manipulations, increasing the level of cruelty as you went. After all that, what can there be left underneath but the untouchable part of me, my soul, the girl you can never hurt. I can't be more raw than that, more exposed, more pure. So thank you, because as Sinead said, "now I have a strong, strong heart, thank you, thank you for breaking my heart."

Steve separated from Sharon and saw you staring at him. "Y/n wait" he called out but it was too late you had dashed to your room and locked the door. "Y/n I'm sorry please open up" but you didn't answer silent tears falling from your eyes.