The Host - Before And After The Rain

Chapter 15 - Rain

After being bathed by the wisdom of the guru Jamie, something else threatened to bathe us. The monsoon season was approaching and the air was beginning to have the weight and the smell of rain.

I could smell it on Wanda's gorgeous hair, awakening my senses further, diving them into the details of her body. After what Jamie told us, Mel and I tried to stay away from each other when in the presence of Wanda, and also to look friendlier and less complicit.

It was unbelievable that Wanda could still doubt my love but this has always been a sore point for her. For reasons mysterious to me, she refused to believe that we loved her for what she was. And even if the issue was the appearance, hers was as attractive to me now as it was when she was in Mel's body. Maybe even more. But if anyone knew of a way to make her understand that, I would pay them to teach me.

The fact is that when Wanda realized that I was not in love with Mel nor was I hanging around her to be kind, she allowed me to come closer and I tried to stand beside her as much as I could. It wasn't always easy, because we couldn't give her the toughest jobs and I ended up having to spend time away while planting, plowing, harvesting or cleaning the mirrors. All things she couldn't do anymore.

She was now delegated to lighter tasks such as cooking, washing or doing minor repairs on clothing. It made her terribly angry because Wanda was used to working like a machine, as if she owed something and was paying with her unremitting efforts. It was clear to everyone but her that it would never be like that anymore.

However, whenever she saw Melanie working, she strived to help, asking us to give her some task and sometimes she'd just start working on something when no one was looking. In the next instant, beads of sweat began to flow from her forehead and her fragile muscles began to sag. When that happened, I used to bury my fingers through her hair, touching her neck, and realize that she was bathed in sweat.

At these times, all I wanted was to take her in my arms and teach her how an O'Shea relaxes a woman but I knew it was too early for that. I still thought she was confused about her feelings for me and Jared, so I'd decided to give her some time to sort them through. This time, I would expect her to come to me for a change.

So, as I was only being her "buddy," I just stuck around, waiting for her to understand and accept the limitations of her new body and stop trying so hard. Which, as you can imagine, did not happen. I merely tried to give her small tasks, just to be around her or, when she insisted doing the hardest jobs, to take the work off her hands before she got too breathless to even complain.

Even with my commitment to give her some space to sort her feelings, it was hard to keep myself away and I was always orbiting around her, as though she were a star, the sun I waited for so long. I'd hold her hand, stroke her hair, but never allow myself to exceed those almost friendly caresses. It was absolutely excruciating.

Ironically, it was the rain that finally brought the sun to me, with its heavy drops that fell on our bare heads at the end of an afternoon of hard work. I had learned enough to know that the moments that define our lives never come by appointment but at those times when you are just too distracted, thinking about life and how to best stack cantaloupe melons in a box.

The rain came down first giving little nudges with its heavy and sparse drops, but in seconds the heavens were opened upon us before we could even finish dinner. All rushed to their rooms, trying to save what they could from getting soaked. I ran to the hospital to pick up the few belongings of Wanderer.

There she was, her small, frail figure struggling awkwardly to stack her clothes on the cot that served as her bed and drag it down the aisle. There wasn't much I could do not to laugh at the sight and she did that thing she does now when she's angry. She squinted and inhaled a deep chest filling breath as if that made her become stronger.