The Host - Before And After The Rain

Chapter 12 - Universe

Sun did not wake up. The small sun had set long ago, probably shortly after birth, and I felt bad because there was no one in this world to mourn her. Maybe in another world, she was living happily with her mother, also taken away from this one. At least, I like to think so. I don't think much about these things. The way our world is now, there's no room to wonder what would be our place after... But I did like to think there could be an "after".

I pushed away those thoughts, however, because they were too complex for a moment when everything was simple: Wanda was coming back. In very little time I would see her again. I could only breathe in the atmosphere around her, waiting for the moment when we would disappear into each other. I felt like I've been trapped underwater and could finally go to the surface to breathe.

We took care of Sun incessantly, but this small body hasn't come to life. Mel and I talked to her every day, almost all the time, talking nonsense, trying to remember things that would make a teenager laugh, or that would interest a child. We tried to conjure up what little we knew of Pet. We talked about ourselves when there was no other subject. We invented stories for her. And nothing.

Nothing worked. Sun hasn't moved a muscle spontaneously. Not a slight tremor of the eyelids while her beautiful face was a bit less rounded, her skin a little less firm, her curves slightly less sinuous. Nothing. Finally, Doc and Candy decided that we should no longer harm her health. Wanda should bring life, soul and food for the small body of Sun to shine again.

And then, when the decision was finally taken and sanctioned by all those who had voice and something to say about it, we'd gathered here, crowding the small hospital with all the love we had for her. All the love there was in the caves for my Wanderer, painting the walls of her home, the one she chose for herself when she became my home. It was for her that I breathe. It was for her and in her that I'd live. And under the shadow of my love, she could protect herself, to anchor when the winds blew at sea. This love contained everything I was and beyond, anything I would be.

When her new body was ready, I held my silver angel in my hands. The strange contact of that texture, the unprecedented brightness, the real beauty of Wanderer... She was beautiful! Everything I loved, thousands of years lived in the stars making her the most perfect human that could be, everything she was fit in the palm of my hand. Every day she lived and all those we would live fit in the small silver body that I held with the utmost care.

"Welcome back!" I said when Doc placed her over Sun's nape.

There was a false vulnerability in the silver body of Wanderer. She looked so fragile, but she clung to life voraciously as she spread out and took possession of her new body. A body that would be hers alone now. And mine.

Wanda was amalgamated to Sun now. They were one and I finally had a face to love. No more the face I admired, but whose eyes I secretly hoped wouldn't open. Now I want them to open, I wanted them staring at me. The eyelids of my Solar Wanderer fluttered and I shivered with them. She was waking up.

"Wanda? Can you hear me, Wanda?" Doc asked, without getting any reaction.

"Wanda. Come back. We aren't letting you go." Mel said nervously, fearing and longing almost as much as I was.

I looked at Mel, relieved to finally see the face of my friend, because the woman I loved had a face now, one that was only hers. A pretty face who gained more life every second, overloaded with micro-expressions.

Candy suggested we use the Awake, so it was sprayed on Wanda's face, but still she didn't wake up, although she seemed more alert. Strangely, I had no hurry. I wanted her awakening to be gentle, calm, and she could take as long as she needed for that. I felt as peaceful as someone who waits for the inevitable.