Evergreen Everleigh - The Wattys 2020

Chapter Forty-Three - The Dead Laugh

Chapter Forty-Three

The Dead Laugh

I cannot help but imagine that I am living in some kind of simulation as I make my way down the fire escape of Freesia Fields in the fading light of twilight. The sky is a ripe peach colour and casts a fiery glow over Willow's blonde braids as she makes her way down the steps before me.

At dinner, Wister had announced that he would like the older members of our motley crew to gather tonight at dusk, when Juniper, Teseal, Aster, and Violet were asleep. We had made a special effort to wear them out throughout the day and Lady Lavender had taken them to bed early, shooting Wister an understanding smile all the while.

One-by-one, like opaque phantoms bound to haunt the hallway, we had emerged on the landing in the duck-egg blue hallway, opting for our nightclothes though the sun was only barely beginning to dim. Wister had met us at the top of the fire escape, dressed in his fluffy bathrobe and baby pink polka dot slippers. Though his eyes remain both empty and full of grief at the same time, he gave us a twinkling smile when he saw us.

The steps of the staircase are still warm under my bare feet from the hot summer's day, a large portion of which I had spent inside of Wister's office and sewing with Sweet Pea.

Wister continues to lead the way as he marches us around the side of the building, where the shadow is long and dark, and toward the forest. When Yarrow falls into step beside me, he takes my hand in his, moving very slowly. It is perhaps the most gentle touch I have ever felt against my too-cold skin. For a moment, I freeze and wonder if I am horrified by his touch or simply out of practice with affection.

Moving slowly enough to stop time, I squeeze Yarrow's hand as tenderly as I can manage in return. I catch him beaming out of the corner of my eye.

The moment of quiet peace doesn't last as I come to understand where we are going as I spy the glinting surface of the lake in the distance.

"The graveyard?" I whisper, pulling my hand away from Yarrow's. My heartbeat has begun to thunder like the hooves of a racehorse and goosebumps have risen across my arms. When Mr. Flurry startles me by brushing past my shins, I yelp in surprise. For the rest of the short walk, I focus on my feet and try not to slip over the moss.

When we arrive in the graveyard, the others seem to visibly relax as they perch themselves on the edges of plots, or lean against headstones. Willow begins to pick some wildflowers from the grassy margin nearby and lay them on the graves. Still, I cannot seem to get control of my heartbeat.

Yarrow and Wister pass a glance and Yarrow shouts to the others, suggesting a game of stuck-in-the-mud around the headstones. Wister sidles up next to me, his presence utterly unabrasive.

"Isn't this classed as being disrespectful? Playing games over the bones of the dead?" I ask Wister, gesturing to Cedar who is now scuttling through Perennial's legs. By the looks of things, Sweet Pea is on and she is dominating the game.

"I like to believe that the dead honour the need for fun and games more than the bones they no longer have need of," Wister replies, his tone casual, if not a little humorous. And he's right. Looking around, at my friends who have become my family, laughing and cheering as we haven't in the month since Aloe's death, I cannot help but think that the dead may join in.

Just as the thought crosses my mind, a flash of red burns out of the corner of my left eye. I turn, knowing who I will see. Yarrow's brother is laughing, a deep belly laughs, with his hands, clasped to his face. A face that looks to be flushed with blood, but isn't. In fact, his gave is nearby, I remember.

I turn back around to Wister to find him watching me. He raises a single brow in curiosity and I shrug a little helplessly and gesture toward the boy. Wister looks at the spot, frowning as though it may help him to see more clearly those which he has never seen.

Then I see her standing several feet away.

Her raven-black hair is tied back with a green ribbon, small ringlets falling down her face. And she is just so Goddamn young that it hurts. It hurts, even more, when her eyes find mine and her expression is so.... undeniably free.

Aloe's gaze follows Perennial as she ducks down behind a headstone, trying to hide from Willow's long legs chasing after her. I barely realise that I am crying until my sobs grow so hard that the front of my nightdress is soaked through and I have to bend double with my hands on my knees as sobs wrack through my body.

All eyes turn to me, those of the dead and the living, but now that the floodgates have been opened, so too has the pain within me. It is as though a physical wound on my flesh has been sliced open and now, I am bleeding freely. Stretching out an arm, as only someone drowning in their own illness can, I catch hold of Wister's hand and hold it tight, clutching it to my chest.

"Pop?" Wister asks delicately, his eyes showing all of the concern he is not expressing. I straighten myself, ignoring the worried stares of my friends as I force myself to look at Wister.

With his hand still clutched against my thumping heart, I say in all seriousness; "I want to recover, Wister. I have to."

There are so many have to's, really, so many I have ignored for so long as I have dithered in the land of in-between; not recovered, but not dead either. I have to get better, return home, and repair what has been broken between me and those I love. Because I do love them, I realise.

Wister gives my hand an affirming squeeze and I recognise it as a promise. After another beat of silence, Wister turns to the rest.

"Come together now," He says and we do. Sweet Pea rushes to me, ready to grip my other hand, and Perennial takes hers. Then Cedar and Willow. Yarrow joins last, binding us together as one.

"We all want to get better, well, and continue our lives to do incredible things," Wister addresses us, nodding toward me in understanding. "There is life beyond Freesia Fields. School, friendship, college, family. A life that is not unmarred by the pain of mental illness, but functions in all of the complexity of being a human being. The good, the bad, the joys, the tears; together."

Silent tears now stream down more than just my face. Yet these are the tears of hope.

"So," Wister continues, the corners of his mouth twitching, "I propose that we laugh!"

And without further ado, Wister breaks into maniacal laughter that causes us to flinch in fright. His peels of laughter drive birds from the nearby trees, yet it is not long before Yarrow joins in and Cedar follows suit.

Before long, we are all laughing. Cackles, giggles, chortles, roars, titters, and utter cachinnation. Together, we laugh and though I am the only one for whom it matters, the dead join us.

A/N:

Hello loves,

You may be able to tell that we are approaching the end of the road with Evergreen Everleigh and each chapter has me more emotional than the last! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and had a pleasant read. Thank you for checking out my stories, it always means the world to me.

Jens x