Just A Harmless Joke

Chapter 6: A bit More Complicated

George and Lee were waiting up for Fred when he got back to the dormitory. "Well?" George asked eagerly.

Fred sighed. He'd told both George and Lee about how he'd been hoping to get answers out of Hermione; they were both putting as much thought into what her problem was as Fred was. "All I got out of her was another detention," he said glumly.

"How the hell did you manage that?" Lee demanded.

"She kissed me again."

"She did what?!" George and Lee exclaimed at the same time.

"She kissed me again," Fred repeated irritably. "And Snape showed up. Again."

George and Lee stared at him. "Well," George said finally, "I think it's safe to say she's lost it."

"You should have seen what she was wearing," Fred said, flopping down on his bed. "What the hell is she doing?"

"I don't know, mate, but you've got to do something about her," Lee said. "If this keeps up, you guys will be shagging by Christmas holidays."

George raised his eyebrows. "And the downside of that would be...?"

"George," Fred whined. "She's... she's evil. She's prissy, bossy, evil-"

"And hot," George supplied. "Face it, brother mine, you don't make out like that with a girl three times for no good reason. She's up to something. She's declared war."

"Why?" Lee asked no one in particular. "What's her motive? How is she getting back at him by making everyone think they're shagging in broom closets?"

"I don't know," George said slowly. "Maybe she's not trying to get back at him." His eyes widened suddenly. "Maybe she's trying to get with him!"

"What?" Lee and Fred said in unison.

"Come on, think about it. You like a girl, you flirt with said girl. And today she kissed you when no one was around-it's about more than keeping up the charade now. Maybe she's trying to make you like her. By making your hormones like her."

"My hormones already like her," Fred said, rolling his eyes. "That's not a bad theory, but it's not at all like Hermione."

"When was the last time Hermione was like Hermione lately?" George replied. "Maybe all those little adventures with Harry and Ron pushed her off the deep end or something, gave her a few too many head injuries. But you've kissed her once. She's kissed you twice. And Lee's right, if this keeps up you'll be shagging by Christmas."

"I don't know-I find it a bit hard to believe that she'd try to seduce me," Fred said skeptically.

"She's playing something, there's no doubt about that," Lee said with a sigh.

Fred sat up suddenly. "Well, she's playing with the wrong Weasley. She wants war, I'll give her war." He grinned mischievously. "I don't know what her problem is. But her most likely motive is getting back at me, making me tell the truth. Well, let her try. I'll show her!"

"I know that look," George said, staring at Fred as though he might be dangerous. "That look means you're prepared to do something stupid. Something very reckless, including absolute mayhem and a rule-breaking plan that's going to get us all in very deep trouble with Hermione, Filch, McGonagall, probably Snape somehow and maybe even Dumbledore."

"Are you in?" Fred asked him calmly.

"Oh, hell yeah. I'm very in."

They sat up late into the night discussing ideas, but in the end they didn't come up with much. All they had was a somewhat suicidal plan to find her and to get her to talk.