Just A Harmless Joke

Chapter 5: At It Again

Hermione showed up for her detention in Muggle clothing, and Fred's jaw dropped instantly. She was wearing a pair of tight, flared-leg black pants and a low-cut green shirt that showed off way more than Fred had realized she'd had. Snape yelled at her about her outfit, but Hermione pointed out that they didn't have to wear uniforms when they weren't in class and Snape let it go after deducting five points from Gryffindor "for impertinence."

They had to polish all the trophies in the trophy room-which was a hell of a lot-without magic. Snape left them alone after barking instructions, and Fred turned to Hermione. She was up on a ladder, polishing a large trophy already, and her back was to him. Fred gave her butt an appreciative look before speaking. "All right, Herm, spill. Why'd you do it?"

"Do what?" she asked, scrubbing at a bit of dirt on the edge of the trophy.

"Why did you kiss me, of course."

"Why did you kiss me?" she returned calmly. Fred felt himself getting annoyed.

"Because you were going to hit me. Besides, I wanted to mess with everyone's heads."

"Well, then, there you go. Hand me that bucket, will you?"

"Hermione! Answer my question!"

"Fine. I honestly don't know why I did it."

"Yes, you do!" he retorted. "You don't go telling people you've been sleeping with me for no reason!"

"You did," she pointed out. "Accio bucket!" she added, and the bucket soared up towards her.

"What, so this is revenge?" he demanded.

"No, silly, revenge would be beating you bloody." Hermione hung the bucket on the top of the ladder and looked appraisingly at the giant trophy in front of her.

"So, what is it, then?"

"Fun," she replied simply.

He glared at her for a moment, then sighed. "Honestly, Hermione, this is getting old. I think we should come clean."

"Oh?" she said. "Then go ahead. Tell everyone you were lying."

He grinned, realization dawning. "Oh, I get it. You're just trying to make me tell the truth."

"Am I?" Hermione leaped down off the ladder and faced him coolly, but mentally she kicked herself; she'd just set her plan back pretty far, but at least she'd be messing with his head more now. "Then I wouldn't do it again."

"What do you mean?" he said, narrowing his eyes at her.

"I mean, I wouldn't do it again," she repeated, and she leaned up and kissed him again, their mouths colliding in a familiar way that had been haunting him. She pressed her body against his, and he no longer cared about why, he only knew that he'd missed kissing her and would miss it again the moment it was over.

"Well," said a soft, dangerous voice behind them, and they both jumped, guiltily breaking apart, mortified as they turned to stare at Professor Snape. Fred could've kicked himself; of course, Snape had left them alone so he could catch them at it again. Why didn't I think of that? Oh, yeah... because I didn't expect to BE "at it again."

He swallowed; Snape was smiling, which was never a good thing. "Twenty points from Gryffindor, and another detention each." He swept out again.

"See what you did?" Hermione said crossly, and climbed the ladder again.

"What I did!" Fred repeated, gaping at her. "What I did! Excuse me?"

Hermione refused to speak to him again, and he spent the rest of the detention scrubbing trophies, watching her body in the reflection on the glass display cases; her chest swayed as she bent over to clean or when she ran the brush across a large plaque, and when he couldn't see that he watched her butt as she worked. She didn't say another word until she came across an award in one of the cases. He noticed she paled and wouldn't touch it.

"Why does Dumbledore keep this stupid thing?" she demanded angrily. "Tom Riddle, special services to the school my ass..."

He tried to get her talking about it, hoping that if he could get her talking about one thing maybe he could move the subject around eventually, but Hermione would have none of it. She cleaned harder after seeing the trophy, until Fred was cleaning one trophy to her four as he watched her movements even more. She was pretty, really-high cheekbones and full lips, large brown eyes and clear skin; she'd taken to braiding her hair (at Ginny's encouragement), which disguised the fact that it was so bushy, and he'd noticed last year that her teeth were now even and her smile much more beautiful. The bossy, goody-two-shoes little girl of five years ago had been replaced by... well, by a bossy, hot sixteen-year-old. He had known several guys-other than Ron and Neville Longbottom, who'd both had a crush on her for ages-that had started taking an interest in her. Hell, at the Quidditch World Cup, Oliver Wood had made a remark about Hermione that had made Fred and George's jaws drop; Fred couldn't remember it exactly, but it was something to the effect of "She really is hot; pity she's only fourteen." He and George had both been startled and had looked at her, heads tilted to the side as they realized what Oliver had apparently already figured out, that Hermione was pretty. Still, neither of them had thought much about it. She was Ron's friend, Ginny's friend, for all she was to them she might as well be Ginny.

Nope, not any more, he thought hazily, watching her in the gleam of a freshly polished trophy.

It was almost midnight when they'd finished, and by the time Fred looked up from his last trophy, Hermione was gone.

Hermione was halfway up the staircase to the girls' dormitory when she bumped into someone, knocking her off-balance and nearly sending her toppling down the steps. A hand reached out to steady her, and she looked up to realize she'd just walked straight into Ginny.
"We need to talk," Ginny said quietly, plopping down on the stairs right in front of Hermione. Hermione sighed, knowing that even if she wormed her way out of talking now, Ginny would make it a top priority to make Hermione talk later. She sat down next to Ginny, deciding to get it over with.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, though she thought she had a pretty good idea of what Ginny wanted.

"You know perfectly well what is it," Ginny said bluntly. "What's going on?"

"In regards to what?" Hermione said carefully.

Ginny snorted. "Don't play dumb, 'Mione."

Hermione sighed again. "Fred, huh?"

Ginny nodded, rolling her eyes. "You've never slept with him; have you, 'Mione." It was a statement, not a question.

"What makes you so sure?" Hermione replied, uncertain whether she should be offended that Ginny was sure Fred hadn't had sex with Hermione.

"Because you would have told me!" Ginny exclaimed, exasperated. "We tell each other almost everything, you idiot, I'm certain you didn't mention shagging my older brother. I think I would remember if you had. There's no way in hell you would have gone and hooked up with Fred without telling me, sooner or later. So what's really going on with you two?"

Hermione smiled faintly. "I'm sorry, Gin, you're right. I shouldn't have left you in the dark about this. In all honesty, he really did just carry me upstairs and Parvati and Lavender saw him leave... and then Fred was being such a prick that, well..."

Ginny gaped at her for quite some time before she slowly grinned. "You're trying to get him back, aren't you?"

Hermione nodded, feeling more than a little ashamed. Ginny, however, burst out laughing. "This is great!" she exclaimed through her laughter. "I didn't know you had it in you!"

"It was McGonagall's idea," Hermione said sheepishly.

Ginny raised an eyebrow. "McGonagall? As in, McGonagall!"

"No, Ginny, McGonagall as in Hagrid. Yes, McGonagall."

Ginny shook her head. "The weirdness never stops. So... what all are you planning? Is that why you're dressed like you actually do know you have boobs?"

"Ginny!" Hermione cried.

"Well, you've never dressed like that before," Ginny said defensively. "Especially not at school. I didn't even know you owned clothes like that."

"My aunt took me on a shopping spree last summer," Hermione said. "I have tons of outfits like this."

"Well, you're going to need them," Ginny said, an evil gleam in her eye. "It's time my dear older brother learned a lesson."

"Definitely," Hermione said, smiling.