Just A Harmless Joke

Chapter 4: Two Can Play At This Game

"What did McGonagall want to talk about?" Harry asked as they went down to dinner.

"Homework," Hermione replied without batting an eye.

Harry frowned but didn't say anything. They went in to the Great Hall, and Hermione led them to seats near Lavender and Parvati, which was something Harry also thought was odd-she'd been trying to steer clear of her two roommates. Ginny joined the three of them, sitting down on Hermione's left while Harry and Ron sat across from them. Harry, Ron, and Ginny talked about Quidditch for a while, falling quiet when Hermione cleared her throat.

"Guys... I have something I need to say, and, well... you're my best friends, so... here goes," Hermione said hesitantly. She blushed, and Harry saw Lavender and Parvati stop talking, their food forgotten. "I... I..."

"What?" Harry prompted.

"I... I really have been sleeping with Fred!" Hermione said in a rush. She grabbed her bag and ran from the hall at the stunned looks on their faces, leaving them in total disbelief.

"Hey, Fred!"

Fred turned to see Lavender and Parvati hurrying to catch up with him, Angelina, George, Lee, Alicia Spinnet, and Katie Bell. They both looked excited, and he exchanged a look with George and Lee. "Guess what!" Lavender told him. "Hermione's just admitted that she was seeing you!"

"What?!" Six startled faces stared at her.

"It's true," Parvati added. "We overheard her telling Harry, Ron, and Ginny at dinner. She ran off afterwards; I think she felt bad about lying to them. But maybe she's not mad at you anymore, you know? You should try to reconcile."

With that, the two girls left, leaving the others to gaze after them in surprise. "What's she playing at?" George said finally.

"Have you been sleeping with her?" Angelina asked, sounding slightly accusatory.

"What?" the others exclaimed, gaping at her.

"They said they overheard her telling Harry. If she was just trying to mess with Parvati and Lavender, she would've told them directly, wouldn't she? She wouldn't tell Harry and Ron and Ginny something if it was bogus; they're always in on the joke with her, right?"

"Yeah," Alicia said. "She wouldn't play a prank on them and she wouldn't hurt them by lying to them."

"I never slept with Hermione!" Fred said impatiently. "I don't know what's going through her head, but-"

"YOU!"

They turned to see an enraged Ron stomping towards them with his wand in his hand, Harry and Ginny close on his heels, looking winded; they'd probably been chasing Ron all the way from the Great Hall. "HOW COULD YOU SLEEP WITH HERMIONE?!" Ron raged, advancing on Fred.

"Ron!" Ginny began as Ron aimed his wand at Fred's heart. She started to say more, but she was breathing too heavily to get the words out.

"Ron, I didn't sleep with her!" Fred said, backing up, his hands up pleadingly. "I swear!"

"Then why did she say you did!" Ron yelled, still marching forward.

"I don't know, ask her!" he retorted. "I'm telling you, it's all just a joke!"

Ron stopped, and so did Fred, having backed against the wall. Ron glared at him, and then strode off, his hands balled into fists. Harry and Ginny hurried to catch up.

Fred let out a shuddering breath. "Okay, this is not good," he muttered.

It wasn't long before over a half-dozen Gryffindors approached Hermione in the common room, demanding to know the whole story. Hermione was prepared for this.

"We started dating over the summer, after I broke up with Viktor Krum, and we decided not to tell anyone-so that the whole school wasn't butting in on our business." She gazed around sternly at everyone. "Guess it didn't work out too well, did it?"

The other Gryffindors left, and Harry, Ron, and Ginny, who'd been sitting at the table with her, stared at her. "You've been dating since summer?" Ron demanded angrily.

"I'm sorry, Ron," Hermione told him. "I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I wanted to, but I wasn't sure how you'd take it, and... well... I don't know. You were so angry about Krum that I didn't want to even think about what you might say about me dating your brother."

Ron sighed, and began to work on his homework again, obviously upset. "Are you going to make up with him, then?" he asked, sounding rather harsh.

Hermione nodded. "I... well, yes, I want to."

She could tell Ron was buying her charade, but she wasn't sure either Harry or Ginny were. The two of them exchanged glances, and she swallowed.

Ron appeared flustered as they continued working, and eventually he packed up his books and stormed up to the dormitory. Hermione cringed, feeling horrible. She knew Ron was upset... but she also knew that once this was over, he'd give her an awed pat on the back, proclaiming it the best joke he'd ever seen.

Only a few minutes after Ron had left, Fred, George, and Lee came down, all looking nervous. Walking as slowly as a pirate's prisoner being forced to walk the plank, Fred gulped and approached her, sitting down in Ron's empty chair next to Hermione. She gathered up her courage; now, with Parvati and Lavender sitting not far away and Fred making the opportunity, she would have to implement the next stage of her plan. She began packing up her homework, preparing to make a hasty retreat.

"Listen, 'Mione," he said tentatively, fearing an angry reaction, "I..."

He trailed off as Hermione sighed, standing up and sliding her shoulders into the straps on her bag. He waited for her to leave, but instead she faced him. "Fred?" she said. "I... I'm sorry."

She bent down and kissed him, placing her hand on his shoulder, more to keep him from falling off of his chair in shock than anything else.

Just as she was leaning away, Fred placed his hands on the back of her head, returning her kiss. Hermione opened her mouth, which surprised him, but he took advantage of it. Two can play at this game, he thought. There were loud catcalls and whistles from around the common room, and Hermione surprised him even more by straddling his lap and putting her hands on his chest. His brain felt a bit fuzzy, and, when Hermione pulled away, he realized with a start that he hadn't wanted the kiss to end.

He opened his eyes. Hermione was gone.

The halls buzzed with talk about it for several days. Fred heard it everywhere he went, as did George, who was easily mistaken for Fred quite often by people who didn't know the twins well. Fred eventually started following George's example when people approached him and asked about Hermione, telling them shortly that he was George, not Fred, and had no idea what was going on. This was somewhat difficult, as the twins were rarely apart (and even the thickest Slytherin could tell that both twins couldn't be George), but it helped some.

He was growing more and more confused. Hermione was now avoiding him whenever possible, and he had a hard time catching her around people who wouldn't spread the story all over school. Why had she kissed him?

A few days after the incident in the common room, when Fred was finally starting to decide that maybe he should forget it, he received a note from Professor McGonagall, telling him that his detention would take place on December 2. He saw Hermione receive a similar letter at breakfast, and a ray of hope shone through the confusion. He might get to be alone with Hermione, which meant he might finally get some answers.