Aftershock [ One Direction]

Chapter 4: "I Will Never Fall Asleep To That Voice Again"

The song on the side has a lot to do with this chapter so if you aren't listening...please listen now. 

 Song on the side - The Girl by City and Colour

Chapter 4

When I woke that night, it had to be about 2 in the morning and everything in the flat was quiet.  Everyone was asleep.  I got up out of Lou’s bed, shut the door quietly, tiptoed toward the front door.  Before I left, I saw Niall on the couch restlessly asleep.  He kept tossing and turning and mumbling nonsense.  I went to him, putting my hand gently on his face, and pecked his cheek.  He immediately relaxed.

I grabbed my bag, the whole reason I came back in the first place, and walked out to my car.  Driving home, the silence could kill, it was so immense.  I kept thinking about how I won’t see Harry anymore…I know I was leaving but there could have been a chance that we would have crossed paths again but now it was so permanent.

Arriving at my house, I threw my bag to the side and went to my room.  I laid in my bed, having my duvets devour me, and hiding myself from the world.  Falling into a restless sleep was the only thing that kept me from going insane.

I woke up feeling exhausted, laying in bed, not wanting to get up.  But eventually I pulled myself from the safety of my bed to take a shower and get ready.  After my shower I made tea and sat in my living room on the couch.  Just sitting there holding my warm cup of tea, staring at the spirals of steam coming from the cup, and going through the events of yesterday over and over again. 

My phone ringing next to me brought me back to reality.  Looking at the screen, it was Liam. 

“Hi Liam.”

“Cora, how are you doing?”  He asked sounding worried.

“I don’t really know…”  I said completely emotionless.

I heard him sigh on the other end, “The viewing is in two days and the funeral is the next.”

“I don’t think I can come…”

“I’m sorry but why the hell not?”  He asked sounding slightly angry.

“Its my fault.  Its all my fault.  I just can’t.”  I stated slowly just cutting myself off.

“This isn’t your fault at all!”  He sighed.

“Yes, it is…I left him the day before and then he did this.  I just can’t live with myself right now.”  I cried out.

“Louis wants to talk to you.” 

“Cora, you promised you wouldn’t leave.  We need you and I know you need us.”  He said sounding desperate.

“Louis please give me some time.”

“No the time to yourself will just cause you to think about it too much and thinking about it too much will kill you.”  He said sternly.

“Maybe that’s a good thing.”  I said the last part and hung up.

Sighing I got up and went back into my room to lay in my bed to try and sleep again.  Thankfully, I finally fell asleep but I had dreams, dreams that were memories of Harry and I.

It had been another day of One Direction fan harassment but today there was a new one. 

-Please just go kill yourself.  You aren’t even worth Harry’s time!-

No one had every told me to kill myself before, I’ve never been this hated…

I was crying in my room, thinking how ridiculous this all was and my phone kept going off but I wasn’t going to answer it, I wanted to be alone.  Eventually, I heard my front door open and Harry shouted my name, I didn’t move an inch.  I honestly didn’t want him to see me like this.  He has seen me like this too many times already. 

My door opened and Harry stepped through.  He stopped when he saw me cuddled up in my bed and tears falling down my face.

“Cora, whats wrong?  Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”  He asked worry evident on his face.

I sniffled, “Your fucking fans…I’m sorry it just gets to me sometimes.” 

“What did they say…”

“They want me to kill myself and I am not good enough for you.”  I said sitting up, looking down, feeling ashamed.

He came over to my bed, sitting next to me he grabbed my chin so I would look at him.  “Please do not listen to them.  You are perfect!  They don’t know us, their probably just jealous or something ridiculous!  Please just don’t listen to that stuff.  I love you.”

I looked at him surprised.  That was the first time I had ever heard him say that.  He looked up about as surprised as I was.

“You, you love me?”  I asked a small smile spreading across my lips.

He chuckled slightly, “Well, darn, I was hoping I would get to tell you in a different way than that but yeah.  I love you.”

I hugged him abruptly, he was a little surprised so at first he didn’t hug me back but eventually hugged me back.  He pulled back and kissed me.  The kiss was filled with unlimited love, passion, need, everything a  perfect kiss would be.  We separated and he looked me in the eyes, “I love you too.” I whispered back.

Harry laid down and I laid next to him, he kissed me on the cheek.  I snuggled into his chest while he wrapped his arms around me.  He started humming a tune and eventually started singing.

I wish I could do better by you,

Cos that’s what you deserve.

You sacrifice so much of your life,

In order for this to work.

While I’m off chasing my own dreams,

Sailing around the world,

Please know that I’m yours to keep,

My beautiful girl.

And when you cry a piece of my heart dies,

Knowing that I may have been the cause,

If you were to leave, fulfill someone elses dreams,

I think I might totally be lost.

But you don’t ask for no diamond rings,

No delicate string of pearls,

That’s why I wrote this song to sing,

My beautiful girl.

I wish I could do better by you,

Cos that’s what you deserve.

You sacrifice so much of your life,

In order for this to work.

While I’m off chasing my own dreams,

Sailing around the world,

Please know that I’m yours to keep,

My beautiful girl.

And when you cry a piece of my heart dies,

Knowing that I may have been the cause,

If you were to leave, fulfill someone elses dreams,

I think I might totally be lost.

But you don’t ask for no diamond rings,

No delicate string of pearls,

That’s why I wrote this song to sing,

My beautiful girl.

I fell asleep that night to the sound of Harry’s perfect voice. 

Sadly, I will never fall asleep to that voice again…