Naruto :The genius

Shitpost, Chapter 14 tomorrow probs

Guess who's back bitches, it's me, ya boiiiiiiiiiiii.
Ok memes aside I remembered I had a story on Wattpad oop-
Hope you like this chapter and thanks to corona-Chan I think I'll write more idk you tell me lol.
These are canon things happening but not like this, this doesn't happen in the story, but all the tea is true.

Naruto went home, slept for an hour and was up at 12, he had a mission, he dressed up, and went to the Hokage's tower.
-"Kitsune, you're late" said the Hokage
-"It was only a minute, I can handle that" said the fox mask person.
The room was quiet, they knew better than to interfere when Kitsune and the Hokage were talking.
-"Ok then, this'll be a quick mission, you all know eachother here except Fox, so play nice" said the Hokage chuckling.
Sometimes it was creepy how the Hokage joked before sending them to a murder mission, but the majority had gotten used to it.
-"Umm, excuse me, I don't want to seem rude but... where is Inu?" Said an ANBU with a lizard mask (I dunno come at me)
-"Ha!" Started laughing who everyone new was Itachi "He's probably fucking right now, plus he retired like 2 years ago" said laughing
But what surprised everyone the most is that Kitsune, the emotionless ANBU following in the footsteps of the one and only (retired) Inu, who everyone knew was the infamous Kakashi, nodded and and laughed a little.
-"What? I don't get it?" Said the recruit with a Lizard mask
-"Ok, who else do you know in the village with Hatake as their last name?" Asked the one known as Itachi
-"..." it took him a little to think, but then it hit him "IRUKA!" Said surprised.
-"Yes" said Kitsune for the surprise of all "Anyways what's the mission, there's the whole battalion here, we're getting sidetracked, what do we need to do and why so many of us" asked Kitsune in his usual manner.
-"Well you were doing it said the Hokage, I just thought it'd be nice for you to know eachother more"
-"So you just wanted to know the tea we have" said one of the younger members
-"Uhhh, I guess you could use that word?" Said the Hokage confused
But with nothing more said the ANBU started gossiping about the village like school girls on a sleepover, and they went back to what they were talking about.
-"So..." a brave soul asked "is it like true that Inu-senpai is going at it right now?"
-"Probably, Iruka has a two week break before his next class comes in" Said another one
-"Hey, Lizard-kun, why were you so dense about the Hatake stuff, aren't you an ANBU?" Asked someone in a birb mask
-"I mean I guess so, it's just that, Iruka was my teacher, and imagining him like that, it's just, weird" said the teen
-"Oh if you knew"
And suddenly the attention in the room went to the voice, Itachi.
-"Omg you have to listen to this" said exited, "Against popular belief, Kakashi isn't kinky, he's very romantic"
There were some aw's and some wow's, some bills being passed, which surprised the Hokage
"Kakashi isn't kinky, but Iruka? Whew! Good thing Kakashi has stamina" said the Uchiha clan LEADER, yes, the LEADER knew all of the tea (you can tell it's 4AM and that this is a shitpost)
-"How do you know all of this Itachi-kun" said one of them.
-"Well, you see, I was delivering something to Kakashi, but Iruka couldn't read it cause it was ANBU info, so I was gonna sneak it through the window, so I went to the window of their bedroom, and they were there, doing it, Kakashi hit me like super hard, I reached the other side of the village, but the face Iruka had was kinda hot ngl."
((You can see how I'm the start I was taking it seriously but I decided to give up lol))
-"Wait who bottoms" said someone
-"Iru-" but Itachi was cut of by someone
-"They switch, but usually Kakashi bottoms" said none other than Kitsune
-"M8 hoe to you now al dis shit" said the teen girl
-"Bitch cause I do" said Kitsune, and everyone started to laugh
Jajajajajajajajajjajajajajajjajajajajajajajajjajajajajajajjajajajjajajajajajjajajajajajjajajajajjajajajaimsofuckingtiredjajajajajajajjajajajajajajajajajjajajajajajajajjajajajajjajajajajajajajjajajajajajjajajajajjajajajajjajajaja

-"Ah- ah- ahchoo"
-"Bless you" said Iruka " you k?"
-"Yeah, someone's spilling tea on me" said Kakashi
-"Round 3?"
-"Fuck yeah"

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Author here, half of this shit was me drunk, and the other half me tired so yeah, but don't worry I'm working on chapter 14 rn, and I'm posting this cause it's funny lol.
Remember kids, Vodka is bad, unless you have Vodka, then Vodka is good.