Middle school adventures(boyxboy)

going back to Jeremy

after i ended it with Nathan i was feeling bad but good at the same time good because i realized that i didn't need a relationship or a man or girl to make e feel complete or relevant and just as I had that thought in reading class i look at the door and i see Jeremy walk in i stopped my mind started rushing with thoughts of my past my present and just so many things and the history i had with him i know that he saw me sitting with my friends and i know that he was thinking about the same things as me like how are us two going to go to this class after everything that happened with us.the love,the hate,the anger that i had for him it was all going through my head all at once but then i decided to act like he wasn't going to be in this class for the rest of the year or like i had to see him everyday but then the teacher calls out "everyone welcome your new classmate Jeremy" and then it set in that i had to see the one guy that i used want to be in a serious relationship with and then turned me down after about a month of non stop delusions that something could've happened

but i thought that it would be better to let him back into my life than struggling to have him pushed away for the rest of the year so then i texted him about a day later
me-"Jeremy we need to talk"

Jeremy-"talk about what"

me-"everything that happened between us"

Jeremy-"yeah i really miss you i feel so bad for what i did""

me-"i miss you too"

and then after that it was for the most part back to normal with him i asked him to sit next to me in class so he wouldn't have to be all alone in the new class and we talked about regular things like how our lives were going while we weren't talking he said that he was doing pretty bad and that he had no one to really talk to and that he hadn't kissed or done anything with any other person since we stopped talking i thought that that was kind weird mostly being that after i stoped taking with Jeremy i turned into a real hoe i messed with anyone who wanted it honestly

and while talking with Jeremy i felt that same spark that i had with him and i could tell that he felt the same thing something that went so un-talked about but the emotions ever so present and even after class my friend asked me if i still liked Jeremy and i responded with"why would you say that "and then she chuckled and said"you two are so close to each other when you guys talk you're practically cuddling and the way that you both look at each other" i kinda blushed at the thought that it looked like we were a "couple" again but at the same time i kinda liked it the only thing i could think about is that if Jeremy felt the same way if the look on both of our faces towards each other and after school i texted him like i always did after school just talking about random stuff like then i just had to ask "a lot of people are thinking were dating again" and he didn't respond right away so i prematurely said"its fine if you don't want to talk about it i know that that's a weird subject" and then the rest of the week was amazing honestly just the most care free week of my life and nothing could be better and then one day when me and Jeremy were sitting next to each other the teacher decides to move him to like the front of the class and i was kinda bumbed we were sitting next to each other but he had his leg on top of mine and it was so sweet compared to any other way that I've sat with another person.

then as soon as the class ends i go up to talk to Jeremy and i notice that he looked more sad than he did before and then i ask him"whats wrong" and then with a sad expression he says "people think were dating" and to me it didn't sound like a bad thing but to him i guess it was like people assuming stuff about him because hes like one of the like three openly gay guys in our grade but then i thought that the best thing to do is to be supportive

"would that be such a bad thing its not like we have't had a thing we just never gave it a title"

Jeremy still looked kinda down and he just says "is just kinda hard being gay"

then the bell rings i didn't have enough time to process what he said or what it meant to him to not feel like he could be himself alone and from the sounds of it,around me neither later i come to find out that was when everything just started changing i don't want to go into the long months of just fighting to win his love him confessing said love to me then have nothing happen in return but all i knew at the time is that i didn't feel closer to anyone else in that school year than Jeremy.Jeremy is what i thought was going to be the person that i was going to be with the rest of the school year yeah i know that i didn't really have any future with anyone in high school and that ill probably forget everyone and just move on with my life but with him it felt that the moments that we shared together were what it felt to be in love to know that we had some sort of history together or that we shared the same thoughts and the same feelings towards each other and that we were able to share those feelings openly and freely with each other but then i realized that he didn't know what he wanted maybe it was me maybe it was a one night stand that he s been chasing for as long as hes been talking to me or maybe he would find what he wants in his closest friend that knew his true feelings and what made him change options of me in one night and for him to go as far as say that he loves me and for me to be his valentine for the year and for me to be his date for the valentines day dance...