Losing Celine. ✔

A Confusing Mess.

Raindrops splatter everywhere, the very sound sheer bliss. Tears rapidly slide down my cheeks. My heart pounds heavily. But I've never been this still and silent. I've never been this scared, this unsure of what comes next. I raise a slightly shaking hand and wipe my tears away.  When tears don't help, I would rather they didn't come.

I glance around. Nothing greets my eyes apart from sweet-smelling empty fields. I think that petrichor is all that comforts me a little. Everything feels strange and unfamiliar, like a whole new world I haven't heard about until just now. I close my eyes, sighing deeply, my hands tightening their hold on Celine.

At least she's sleeping. At least she doesn't have to see the mess you've got her into. Yet.

The thought doesn't comfort me, not even a little. Tears threaten to roll out of my eyes again, and my heart sinks even further like a ship that was once strong but now wrecked. I pat my damp hair, trying to sharpen my gaze. There is something wrong, or something that is going to go wrong. My heart aches as if clenched by pain, and I resist the urge to shudder violently.

Kim. There's something wrong with him. Aiden used to tease me about being a heroine out of a classic book. If only I got to find out exactly how I am the person I am, the world would maybe appear less confusing. Maybe then, I wouldn't feel so lost. Like I'm falling into darkness and being unable to stop.

I give my head a little shake, focusing on the expressionless crisp brown face. I wonder what is it that Kim is hiding behind that carefully painted blank face. There is something in his eyes. A deep thought, tangled with an expression that forces me to think, only, not a single thought of mine is capable of making some sense of what I want to know. The carriage stops.

For a second, my heart does too. My gaze sharpens, my whole body tenses. I badly need sleep and a good hour of positive thoughts. But it looks like I  don't have time for either.

He turns back, his gaze sharp. His gaze steals my breath away. There is no warmth in his eyes anymore, just coldness and darkness that I can't even try to understand.  I let my mind work. Thoughts run wild around my head like a train moving forward on its track in a violently fast speed. A brief second is all it takes. I inhale deeply, blocking out my tangled, blurry thoughts, pursing my lips so the trembling doesn't show.

'What's wrong?' My voice comes out okay. I let a frown form on my forehead, allowing some curiously in my eyes. I hope he's not a mind reader. That way, he'll think about only what he can see. And there is nothing more for him to see apart from what I'm letting show. At least, I hope there isn't.

'What is your real name?' He asks, his voice as sharp as a blade, slicing my skin. His question steals my regained breath away. It takes me more than time to gain that control back, though it feels like it's slipping from my fingers like water. My heart clenches with fear.

'It's Lucy Lavender.' I  try to reply in a puzzled voice, but it gets too tangled up with pure misery. This isn't going the way I wanted. I don't quite know what to do when I should be doing something, anything, as quick as I can. The more I stall, the worse it'll be. But my body stays rooted in the hard seat.  My head feels numb. Empty. There's nothing I can do, not even feel.
'You know my name.' I add quickly, deepening my frown. 'Why are you asking again?'.