Our Secret Silence

Chapter 8

I stayed in my room. I never left, except to go to the bathroom. I refused to eat and they had to force me to. All I did was sit on my bed, waiting. I stared at my husk top for days, waiting for Kurloz to log into his Trollian. He didn't. Nepeta urged me to get dressed. Once again I refused. "No..." All I ever did these days was say no.

Nepeta moved into my room to watch after me. I knew she was aware of my frequent sobbing. At night, I would curl up and my loneliness and depression would get the best of me and I would cry for hours on end. I wished I could hear it, so I could quiet down around Nepeta. God, I was miserable. During the day, I sat silently and watched Kurloz's name on Trollian, hoping that it would light up. Please log in, I wanted to shout at it. I miss you Kurloz... I would tear up again at the mention of his name. Even in my head. I wasn't sure if I could deal with it for very much longer. So I took a risk.

Reaching into my hidden bag, I took out some catnip. I opened the window and sat on the bed, looking out it as I lit the joint and took a breath. That's when Nepeta walked in. I looked over at her, straight faced. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to feel even the littlest bit better. I smiled at her sadly as I took another drag. I knew that this was tearing her up inside. She started to tear up, seeing her big sister result to drugs to make her feel better. She turned and quickly ran downstairs. I looked down and kept smoking.

Be the upset little sister ==>

"Mom!!" I wailed as I ran down the stairs. She was silently talking to the Signless. About Meulin, no doubt. "Yes?" I debated telling her. But I knew how they'd react. "I'm going to see Equius!" I said quickly as I scampered out before they could see my tears.

"Equius!" I wailed as I burst into the Zahhak hive. Horuss looked out from his machine room (the Zahhak's like to build robots! :33) and sighed. "Ah... Nepeta. Equius is in his room." I smiled. "Sure thing! Oh and by the way, say hi to Rufio fur me!"I said, sticking my tongue out and rushing up the stairs. "Wait, how do you know-...?" He trailed off as I ran.

I knocked and Equius opened the door. "Equius... Sis is getting worse!" I said pouting. "Nepeta..." I pounced onto him, in a hug. "Nothing's working! She just keeps getting worse!" I wailed. "I'm dreadfully sorry about Meulin... What ever can I do to try to comfort you or help in any way?" He asked. I sniffed, "I don't know... She needs someone to talk to... I have you and that's how I'm fine... But she doesn't have a
meow-rail!"
"Hmm. What if we had Horuss become her meow-rail? I am unsure of the outcome myself, but surely it might favor our direction. Shall I have him come over to see her perhaps?" Equius proposed. My eyes lit up, "Equius, that's the purrfect plan! She'll be pawsitivly thrilled! I'm sure she'll be feeling better in no time once she has a purrfect meow-rail like you!" I squealed and bounced. "You're the best! Thank mew!!!" "It's no problem. I was only doing what was required of me to do in a moriallegiance. Please take care Nepeta." He told me. I grinned as I went home. Meulin, you're gonna be better soon! I purromise!

Be the oldest Capricorn ==>

I followed Father willingly through the halls of our holy church. He was leading me my demise; I was sure of it. Neither of us spoke for the duration of the trip. "Kurloz..." He began. I looked down, prepared for his lecture. "I told you to keep yourself in check. You're lucky she isn't dead." The Grand Highblood scolded. "I'm very fortunate..." I repeated. "You know better than to allow yourself to even utter that Honk. You cannot allow this to happen again."

"I assume you know what needs to be done?" He continued. I nodded. "Yes sir." I muttered as he opened the door into the room. I stepped inside to see nothing but a table. On that table lied a needle and purple thread. I knew what he wanted me to do.

Be the deaf cat girl ==>

"Horuss?" I asked as I entered the living room, well really more like pulled in by Nepeta, but whatever. The oldest Sagittarius sat on the couch in the living room as well as Equius, his younger brother and Nepeta's morail. Horuss waved at me, slightly uncomfortable to speak to a deaf girl. Everyone was. I sighed and sat down. "You don't have to be afraid to talk..." I mumbled, focusing on controlling my voice level. I'd be screaming if I didn't focus. I hated that. "Uh, hello Meulin..." He said hesitantly. I was a master of reading lips now. "Hi." I responded. "Why are you all here?"

Equius and Nepeta exchanged looks. Of course. They wanted us to become morails. I couldn't lie, there was a pale spark there. But I didn't want to be morails with anyone. I wanted my matesprit and that was it. Horuss smiled slightly. "Since these two refuse to leave us alone, perhaps we should get to know each other a bit better?" He asked. I nodded. "Sure, I guess.."

About three hours later the sun was beginning to set. "Well I suppose we should get going." Horuss said. "Yeah, it's getting dark." Equius agreed. They stood to leave ad Nepeta bounced over. "Are you two meow-rails yet?!" She asked eagerly. I giggled softly as I looked at Horuss. He nodded to me an I nodded to Nepeta. Her eyes lit up. "Equius, we did it!" She squealed as she pounced onto him. I giggled and Horuss smiled at the exchange and the room was filled with diamonds.

"Jegus! Why is it so freaking vanilla pale down here?!" Karkat asked as he came down the steps. "Karkitty! We got Meulin a meow-rail!! Isn't that exciting?!" She said excitedly. He shrugged. "Yeah, yeah." He said as he went to leave the living room. I giggled loudly and he came back into the room. "Did Meulin just giggle?" He asked alarmed. Nepeta nodded and squealed.

The Sagittarius brothers left and I shut the door behind them. I was feeling better. Way better now that I had someone to talk to. I was still really upset but I managed to have a positive outlook as I went to go up the stairs. Thats when the door rang again. I went to open it.

"Oh Horrus? Did you forget something?" I asked. Then I actually looked up. A tall Makara in a skeleton suit stood in front of me. My smile widened. "Kurloz?!" I asked incredously. I looked up at his face. His face paint was smudged from what I assume was the result of crying. That's when I saw something that shocked me. Kurloz's mouth was stitched shut with a purple thread. I screamed and backed up, my hands over my mouth as I fell to my knees. Kurloz reached out to see if I was fine and I started to cry. "W-what happened to you?!" I shrieked, losing control of my voice level. I was sure I was screaming every word. He knelt besides me and put his hand on my shoulder.

Meulin calm down. I looked up. Did I hear that? Did I hear?! "W-what?" I asked stunned. I said, Meulin calm down. It's alright. I looked at him. "How is that possible?" I asked him. "How am I hearing you?" Chucklevoodoo. It's the only way I can communicate now. I'm talking to you mind-to-mind. I smiled slightly, still crying and hugged him. "I missed you... You can't leave me like that..." I cried. He hugged me back. I'm terribly sorry, my dear... For leaving and hurting you. I took your hearing from you. I don't see why you still wish to be with me. Why haven't you ran and hidden from my grasp? I looked up at him, his eyes glowing his dazzling shade of purple. Mine were doing the same. "Because! Why would I leave you?! We can work past something as stupid as this! I love you, Kurloz... I'm not going anywhere!" He smiled slightly, as much as the stitches would allow. I gently touched his mouth and ran my fingers over the stitches. He winced, the cuts fresh. I frowned sadly. "You didn't have to do that..." I told him.

"He did. It's written in the cult's rules. A sense for a sense. You can't hear, so now he can't speak." Mom said as she entered the room. I didn't see her, nor did I hear her, so Kurloz relayed what she said. I looked up at her. She stood in the doorway with her arms crossed. "Get out of my hive, Makara. Meulin, go upstairs." She said sternly. "What?! Why?!" I asked. "He just got here!" She glared at us. "Kurloz, out. Now."

Kurloz looked at me and stood up, our eyes returning to normal. He waved slightly and turned to leave. I jumped up and hugged him. "Purromise me you'll message me!" I demanded slightly. He nodded and looked at me lovingly as he left. I turned to my mom. "I can't believe you!" I said as I rushed up the stairs.