15 | ALEX STANDALL

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[NOT MINE]

( alex standall )

“Standall, what the fuck are you doing?!” You exaggeratedly shouted as you hastily ran towards your best friend to snatch the gun that he was quietly observing in his own bedroom

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“Standall, what the fuck are you doing?!” You exaggeratedly shouted as you hastily ran towards your best friend to snatch the gun that he was quietly observing in his own bedroom.
“What are you doing here?” His eyes grew wide in shock as he looked at you, fear and languishment so obvious in his gaze. You rushed towards the Standall’s residence because you started to worry about Alex. You had been texting and calling him all day, but you never got a response, a thing that your friend had never done to you. “Who let you in?”
“What were you thinking, Alex?” You raised the gun above your head and shook it as you scolded your best friend. You ignored his unlimited questions and you just bit your lower lip as you prevented your tears to stream down your face. The thought of your closest friend considering suicide made you feel sick, heart silently breaking into small smithereens. He was so important to you.
“I am damn tired of this life, (Y/N)! Hannah’s tapes have been bothering me for weeks now and you perfectly know how I feel about it. I am just so tired, so exhausted.” Alex‘s hot tears started to wet his rosy cheeks, making you feel worse as you thought of the arrogance and anger that wrapped your voice a few moments ago.
“Lex,” You calmly and sweetly called him whilst you gently put the gun on his bedside table. “I know what you’re going through, I am your best friend, but you promised me that we would go through this together. Right?”
“I know, but I keep on seeing Hannah’s face every time I close my eyes and that list, that fucking stupid damn list, was the reason.” Tears continued streaming down his beautiful face and you quickly realised how much you hated seeing your best friend in this situation. It broke your heart because it seemed like you couldn’t do anything to help him, not even a small thing.
“Alex, I know that you’re not the only one who’s committed all these errors. The others won’t admit it, but they are obviously feeling guilty and shitty too.” You slowly went beside him to lovingly wrapp your arms around his shoulder. “Lex, I am with you and we promised that we wouldn’t leave each other. Remember?”
“How can I deal with this? (Y/N), this situation is killing me slowly.” He messily wiped his tears with the back of his hands and you gave him a very empathic look, trying to understand where he was coming from.
“Lex,” You pitied him, you sadly pitied him. He maybe deserved to be called out, but he never deserved to feel this way. “you can do this and I am helping you.” Your salty tears started rolling down your cheeks, heart shattering even more as you considered Alex’s hopeless eyes.
“Don’t you hate me, (Y/N)? I have done so many wrong things in my life.” He sadly focused his attention to you and you gave him a tight-lipped smile before sitting beside him.
“How can I hate the one and only Alex Standall?” You playfully raised an eyebrow and he just wiped your tears with his thumbs, his soft hands delicately cupping your cheeks. Your surroundings were blurry because of the tears but you still had the chance to admire his beautiful face, nonetheless it was full of wounds and scars, caused by the fist fight that he had with Montgomery few days ago.
“I don’t know, (Y/N). Hannah hated me, Jessica, hates me, Justin hates me, Montgomery hates me. Everyone hates me.” He gloomily shrugged his shoulder, seeming as though it was normal to hate him. You unleashed a very heavy sigh because of his statement and his gaze quickly fell on the ground, right hand anxiously fidgeting with his jumper’s long sleeve.
“Lex, look at me.” You both considered each other’s eyes, a movement that gave you the chance to admire his cold and sharp ocean blue orbs. “It’s impossible to hate you, Alex! So, don’t say that I hate you, because I clearly don’t. Look, I am glad to be not a part of that everyone you were saying.” You cockily told him as you wiped his tears, cautiously avoiding the scarlet bruises on his cheeks.
“(Y/N), I love you.” He sincerely confessed after a long comfortable silence between you. That boy surely had lots of courage in his system, or, perhaps, it was the same courage that he wanted to take out while he was observing his father’s gun, that same courage that he wanted to use to kill himself.
You were shocked because of what he had said, but those most-awaited three words suddenly mended your broken heart, making it jump in joy.
“I love you too, Alex.” You honestly replied as he invited you to hug him tightly. You felt his heart beating in a jiffy against your chest and that was when you knew that he really felt for you.
If you were going to be honest and sincere to yourself, it wasn’t hard to love Alex. He was fun to be with and he could be your crying shoulder at any time of the day. He would always protect you from Bryce and Montgomery, even though he would always get beaten up. He would do anything for you and looking at his actions with a different perspective made you realise that it had been a long time since he started feeling something for you.
“Look, if I didn’t arrive in time, I’d be in Jensen’s shoes right now.” You playfully punched his arm as he hopefully smiled at you, feeling relieved that you weren’t circumvented by what happened in the past. “Don’t consider suicide ever again, please.”
“I won’t, (Y/N).” He smiled even more, flashing the dimples that you loved so much. “I promise.”
“You won’t be needing that gun anymore, so I will put that back in your dad’s gun cabinet, alright?” He chewed on his lower lip at the thought of it as he nodded slowly, smile slowly fading. He couldn’t believe himself that he ever considered committing suicide.
“Thank you, (Y/N).” He gratefully murmured, feeling slightly sick and relieved at the same time. “Thank you.”
“Lex, I promise that I will fix you.” You seriously declared while you grab his hand and strongly intertwined your fingers together. “You are not alone, you weren’t and you never will.”
“I really owe you my own life, (Y/N),” He pulled you closer to him to give you a kiss on your temple and he tightened his grip on your hand. “thank you.”

[CREDIT TO WRITER xbarrjallenx]

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