The Caretaker

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*Alien planet*

With wickedly sharp rocky outcrops sticking sideways out of the desert ground. The Doctor, Clara and I are chained to ornately carved pillars as twin suns beat down.

"There's no way out of this. We're going to die here" Clara says.

"Pass me the vibro-cutters" the Doctor replies.

"They're in my pocket."

"Come on then, pass them to me."

"In my other jacket. At home."

"Why have you got two jackets? Is one of them faulty?"

"Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters. If I had the vibro-cutters, I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters. We're going to starve to death out here."

"Of course, we won't starve. The sand piranhas will get us long before that" I say.

*Pub*

Clara enters and goes to Danny's table.

"Hiya. Sorry, I'm late" Clara says as the two kiss.

"You're not. You're brown. You're very brown. You weren't that brown this morning."

"Sunbed. I'll get 'em in. Usual?

*Clara's flat*

Clara is about to go out when I pop her head out of the TARDIS.

"Fish people."

"What are they like?"

"Fish. And people. Come and see.

*Taxi*

"How are you?" Clara asks getting into the taxi.

"Evening. Nice frock. It's a bit wet" Danny says.

"Freak shower."

"Is that seaweed?"

"I said freak."

*Corridor*

Clara, the doctor and I are running as lasers are shot at them.

"How much further?" Clara asks.

"TARDIS has got to be round this corner. I hate soldiers. Don't you hate soldiers?" the Doctor asks.

"Yeah."

"Just keep running!" I say.

*Clara's flat*

Clara opens the front door to see Danny.

"Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya."

"Morning. Ready to run?"

"Mmm hmm."

*Clara's bedroom*

Clara is out of breath and completely drenched in sweat.

"I can't keep doing this. I can't do it. Yes, I can, I can do it, of course, I can do it. I've got it all under control."

*TARDIS*

Clara enters and the Doctor and I look at her.

"So, where we off to?" Clara asks.

"Clara, you, you look lovely today. Have you had a wash?" the Doctor asks.

"Why are you being nice?"

"Because it works on you. Listen, we're sorry but there's going to be no trip today. We're sorry. Er, we've got to do a thing. It might take a while."

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