Force Destiny

Plans

"Blue! We have to go!" Kylo shouted as he sprinted into his quarters from the meditation room. Pulling on layers of cowls and cloaks in preparation for the freezing temperatures on Ilum, he cursed himself for not choosing to leave sooner. After Sidious had revealed his plan and Kylo had witnessed what his former master could do to Rey in her darkness, he had turned to meditation in search of the right answer. His mother had given him the only answer he needed.

You already know what you have to do.

He did. Rey was in very real, immediate danger. He had warned Rose not to go to Ilum, but he knew his bondmate. She would not heed his warnings; he could sense it with everything in him, because he wouldn't have heeded the warnings either. Kylo refused to stand by and do nothing anymore. He didn't care if Rey hated him, he had to find her before the First Order did—at all costs. Every threat that Rey faced was his fault and he wouldn't allow her to suffer for his failures. He would protect her from the First Order. He didn't know how he would do it yet, but for the first time in years, he had hope. His hands shook as he struggled into his boots, partly in exhilaration for the choice he had made, partly in fear of how Rey would react when she discovered his plan.

In order for her to discover his plan, however, he would have to create something resembling one first. He needed something more than "find Rey," at least. Certainly, he could have used his power to intervene. Theoretically, he could do everything he needed to do to protect them from the safety of the Finalizer. Every single trooper could be moved off-planet by his order. They would have to pull out of the entire sector if he commanded it to be so, and he could go alone to intercept her on-world. But he would have to trust that Hux would not follow him, and he would have to leave her to go back to the First Order eventually. He could hold off the First Order until he fell to mutiny, and hope it would be long enough until she escaped. Kylo found that he didn't want to return to the First Order. But he could give them the information they needed to destroy the Finalizer and Force Destiny with it. Rose was right. One day, what he could do from this side would not be enough, and his mother helped him realize that time had come.

It had been his missteps and mistakes that had led them to that very real nightmare. But Sidious's misstep had been using Rey against him; apparently his former master hadn't learned the first time. At some point since Crait, protecting her from the evil he helped create had become his only reason to stay. Rose was right, his mother was right, Rey was right... he was only fooling himself in his belief that he could protect her as Supreme Leader. The moment he had realized he could no longer protect her from the First Order was the moment his conflict ended. With that newfound understanding, he left his quarters without a backward glance.

Kylo had no reason left to stay, he knew that, but he still stopped short at the end of the corridor. Blue nearly ran into him as he struggled to take the next step. He had a choice. The droid stared up at him but didn't say anything, somehow understanding the significance of Kylo's thoughts. Hesitating in the center of the corridor, he looked back and forth between the two directions. One way led to the bridge to command the troops, the other led to the hanger. Each had dire, irrevocable consequences. Could he do this? Could he give up everything he fought for—everything he sacrificed for? The idea of it still caused a tightness in his throat.

He made his decision.

Kylo turned in the direction of the hangar, and Blue followed beside him obediently, the droid's domed head swiveling back and forth between Kylo and their destination. There was no turning back from this; he was choosing to commit the worst kind of treason. There was an exhilaration building in his chest to finally be free of all of it.

He would have to escape off the Finalizer, find Rey on Ilum, give her the information to destroy the Finalizer, ensure her escape, call the Knights of Ren to his side, and prepare for war. This focused relentlessness was the most dangerous aspect of his personality; he knew that. It made him desperate, obsessive, and unpredictable in his determination. He would let no one stand in his way. For once, it would be an asset for the Resistance. Nothing was guaranteed; there were infinite ways it could go sideways, yet he hadn't expected the next two words: