Force Destiny

Darkness

Why are you going to Ilum? the voice taunted. You can feel the darkness inside you...Your crystal will be red... Everyone will know what you've done...You killed your parents... You will drag Kylo back to darkness with you... You will kill your friends... You will kill Kylo Ren... You will destroy everything you love...You will never be a Jedi... Stand by me...And become what you were meant to be.

There wasn't a word for the devastation Rey felt. Her entire life had been a lie. She had suffered through all of it, believing her parents would come back for her. It had been easier believing that they were still alive. Looking back, she didn't know why she had never questioned it. When she finally admitted to herself that they were dead, it had been easier believing it was an accident. They had left her, what reason did she have to question how they died? But when she finally did... it was even easier believing that the man she loved had done it in his darkness. As painful as it had been, it made sense... the universe had made sense when it was him. When she had believed Kylo had done it, she still knew who she was.

What kind of person did that make her? Not only had she killed her own parents, but she had believed – even for a moment – that Kylo had the capability of murdering her parents. She knew who he truly was; that was why she had allowed herself to fall in love with him. But she should have realized who she was. Everything that had happened since she left Jakku had proven she didn't know herself. She had looked to Finn and Han and Maz, even Luke, to show her. They had tried in their own ways. Her bondmate, however, had held the key the entire time. He allowed her to believe that she was more than the product of a hellish world even when he knew the truth. Now that she knew it wasn't him, it didn't make sense why the Force had trusted him. At the time, he had been her enemy. Why would the Force give him that leverage? Was she meant to fall, too?

She had killed her parents. She had killed her parents. They had abandoned her on a harsh planet with a horrible monster, but that didn't mean they had deserved to die. Maz had tried to warn her that her belonging was not with her family. Luke tried to warn her of her darkness. Kylo had believed she would turn when he saw that vision. They had all warned her in their own ways; she should have known. But now she felt like the old Rey was dead, and in her place was a monster.

You will never be a Jedi... It wasn't a lie. She could never be a Jedi. Luke was right about her, Kylo was right about her; she went straight to darkness. Maybe that was why she was connected to Kylo, maybe she was fated to fall to the dark side all along. And when she inevitably fell, there would be no one to stand against the Dark Army. Everyone she loved would die, just like her family. Why had she ever believed she could save them? Why had she held such blind hope? She was nothing. Nobody. Just a monster who killed her parents. That was her place in all this.

You will drag Kylo back to darkness with you... She had shut him out after she had killed her parents, sentencing him to suffer alone. She was the reason he had fallen. If she had never joined the war, Han Solo would have never gone with Finn to Starkiller. Kylo would have never been forced to kill his father. Han Solo would still be alive. If she had never left the Resistance, she would have stopped Poe from his mutiny, and Leia would have had the chance to get the treatment she needed. Leia would still be alive. If Rey hadn't gone to the Supremacy and left Kylo, he would have never stormed the base on Crait. Luke wouldn't have been forced to confront him; Leia would still have her brother and the galaxy their hero. Everything she had done had only ever pushed Kylo further from turning.

And he had been turning. When he faltered, it had ultimately been her doing. It had been her words, her actions, her struggle that kept him immersed in darkness. Her secrets had pushed him right back into the clutches of the creature that had tortured him for years. By dragging him from that nightmare, she had only delayed the inevitable. Now that they were separated, he had no reason not to join Sidious. In trying to remain neutral between him and her friends, she had given Sidious everything he wanted. In trying to help him, she had sentenced him to die as Kylo Ren. Now he would die as the leader of the Dark Army.