Ironically Cliché (A Danisnotonfire Fanfiction)

Chapter 3

I got into the flat and threw my keys into the bowl thing on the table. Don't ask me what its called.

I let Chance of the lead and he ran off. Probably to try and raid the fridge. When we first got him we had to get a child saftey lock on it because, by his third day, the little fucker had already figured it out! He shut the fridge door after himself aswell so I thought it was just Jess having midnight snacks when I started to see food mysteriously vanish. Nope. Turns out it was Chance so the next day I got some child saftey locks. We also got some for the cupboards aswell, but we won't do into that one just yet.

I walked into the living room to find Jess playing COD Black Ops 2 with a look of concentration on her face. She couldn't hear me because of the headphones she had on. I'd best not disturb her. Last  time didn't go well. She wouldn't come out of her room for a week. She finally forgave me when I made her some pancakes. I don't understand why.

I walked into my room and jumped onto my bed. I grabbed my laptop from my bedside table and got back to job searching. Well I put up a tab of it and went on Tumblr. I'll do it in a minute.

*TWO HOURS LATER*

I was getting a bit bored of tumblr so I moved on to watching cats jumping at windows. It's quite entertaining.

My phone vibrating from under my butt. I wonder how it got there? 

I checked it and found that Jess had texted me.

From: That Bitch I Know

Make me dinner?

I sighed and got up and walked into the kitchen. I wouldn't usually make her dinner but I was pretty hungry.

Chance was laying down looking at the fridge door with a sad look on his face. I laughed at him and got a treat out for him. It's the least I could do.

I put some Mac and Cheese in the microwave because we're health freaks.

"Here you go you lazy motherfucker" I said as I walked into the living room.

"Thanks" She took it and dug in barely akknowledging my presense. Shes honestly not that bad but when it come to games and food you might want to take a step back.

She put friends on in the background but we weren't really watching. 

"I met a guy today" I started.

She turned her full attenion to me in an instant.

"Oooh Camerons got a boyfriend!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.

"Oh fuck off, at least I did something today. What did you do?"

"Excuse me! I happened to get another 30 kill killstreak, beat that."

"Sorry, would you like your medal now?"

"Shut up" She laughed.

"Anyway we had a hot chocolate at Costa and he gave me his number. Chance took a big liking to him aswell."

"Ah well sensai Chance knows best."

I didn't get to reply as my butt vibrated again. How the hell does it get there?

I picked it up to see that Dan had texted me. It was a picture of a wooden guinea pid eating salad with the caption 'At a resturant eating with my friends!'. Da fuq? 

Jess saw my confused expression and I showed her the text. "It's that guy." I explained. She understood for a second but then her expression turned back to confused. I shrugged and decided to reply.

To: Dan

I don't need to know about your sexual fantasies Dan.

Not a minute later there was a reply.

From: Dan

No, shit! That wasn't meant to go to you!

To: Dan

Who was it supposed to go to?!?!

From: Dan

My mum?

To: Dan 

This has gone on to a completley new level of wrong

The caller icon popped up onto the screen with Dans name. Too right, he's got some explaining to do. I answered the call and Dan spoke immediatly.

"Just to clarify, the text wasn't meant in any kind of sexual way."

"Sure it wasn't"

"It wasn't!"

"If you say so" 

"It's for a project I'm doing, okay?"

"A project about Guinea pigs going out for dinner?"

"Just don't question it"

"I'm not sure I want too"

"Anway, it's not the only reason I called."

"Oooooh" I heard Jess say in the background, obviously eavesdropping on us like the little creep she is. I gave her the finger. But she just started silently laughing to herself. I frowned and turned my attention back to Dan.

"Why else did you call, other than to explain you weren't doing a project on beastiality?"

"I called to see if you were free tommorrow, I'm going to ignore that last comment"

"Yeah I'm free tommorow. What did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking maybe we could get lunch? What do you say?"

"Sure text me the rest of the details."

We said our goodbyes and hung up. I looked over at Jess to see her grinning like a maniac.

"You're so inloooove!" 

"No I'm not, I just met him. Are you insane woman?"

Shes never going to let this go. Consdiering the fact she was now dancing around the flat singing that 'I'm inlove'. I could kill her sometimes.

"Right I'm going to bed!"

I walked into my room and got ready for bed considering it was 1 o'clock in the morning. Chance walked into my room ready to sleep at the foot of the bed. I jumped into bed and fell asleep listening to Jess still singing. Add that to my list of 'don't ask me' things.

*Word count: 957*

Yeah so sorry for the short chapter guys. It was a bit of a filler aswell. I'll make sure more things happen in the next one and I'll upload it next friday to say sorry.

Don't kill meh

I hope you enjoyed it none the less :)

The cat scratched me while writing this :O

-Lozza x