30 Letter Writting Challenge

Ex-Boyfriend

Dear Nick,

Oh i honestly don't know what to say here that you don't already know...You are one twisted, crazy, determined, cocky, wanna be ladies man. You are selfish, self obsessed, you don't think things through before you do them and don't seem to care what you're doing to people. But you are one of the most amazing people that have ever been in my life. You're smart, funny, kind, ridiculously romantic, silly, sweet, loyal, caring. You're a fighter who never gives up. And you're the guy that put me back together after i got my heart broken. You're the guy who reminded me that their is life after being broken. You helped me move on after getting over Shane. Which was the hardest thing i've ever had to do, in my entire life. However, getting over him made getting over you so much easier. You and i were something incredible when we were together. I know you believe we fought a lot but take it from someone who knows serious relationships; we didn't. I tried so hard for you in the end, and in the beginning you tried so hard for me. I don't think we ever fought for each other at the same time. That would have really been incredible. But when i fought for you, i woke up every day thinking about what i could do to make you happy. You say you did that when you were fighting for me. Maybe you did. You say that everything you did was you playing me, running game, and doing your old plays. I'm sorry but i think that is complete bullshit. I know you tried to run your game fairly often and i went along with it because i thought it was great. But i also knew when you were honest, and vulnerable. Like when you tried to be with me and failed over and over, i saw how much that bothered you. I know that was real. Or when you waited for me every single day near the buses so you could walk with me. I wasn't suppose to know but i did. Chris told me. I know that you loved me, and i know i loved you. But i feel like...I will always love you, but i am not in love with you anymore. I love the memory of who you were and who we were together, i love you as a person because i did love you and that never stops, but mainly i love you as the best friend i had. More than anyone or anything you were my best friend. In a way Kyla is best friends with Daniel, it's separate and confusing, yet completely simple. It's not something i know how to explain, and if you don't feel the same way about it it's okay, truly. But you are my best friend, and honestly, if i needed someone to run to in a desperate moment of everything going wrong and i just needed help i would go to you in a heart beat. I hope you would be there to help me. Yes, the girls you talk about give me this feeling of wanting to ram their heads through a glass wall and take a nail and hammer it through their temples, but i think that is just a leftover reaction to my feelings. When Ex's are friends there is always leftover jealousies, welcome to being a grown up. I know you feel the same from time to time, an i don't and won't use that against you. As i hope you won't to me. I am always here for you. As your friend. Through thick and thin, I'll help you just as i would help Shane if he ever had a problem i could help with. Of course. You have another letter coming eventually, and so does he, But through every letter, remember to remember i'm your friend. And i will always love you as a part of me, as the good and the bad of who i am in a piece of my heart. Remember that, while i forced myself to move on and don't love you anymore, i'd be happy to fall in love with you all over again in a heart beat. I would let you try to win me back. I don't love you like that, but i'd let you make me again...remember that.

Love from Sugar-cube,

Sydney