Guide to Being a Superhero...'s BFF (Guide to Being, Novella One)

Gag the Greedy Businessman

The three of us yelped and dove away. I slid on the suddenly slippery floor, fell, and landed hard on my hip. I groaned rolling over. James ducked a shower of icicles. He joined me and held out a hand.

"You alright?"

I grimaced and nodded, "Ouch."

I took his hand and let him helped me to my feet. My eyes widened. Ice covered everything. The floor. The walls. It even traced up to the ceiling. Pillars formed around us and shattered pieces of ice scattered across the ground. Puddles surrounded Kim. Water dripped from her extinguished hands. She blinked rapidly.

"So, this one's got actual powers?"

"'This one!'" Barnaby sputtered.

"Must," James eyed the minion warily. "No machine or illusion could do all . . . this."

"Fletcher, you really didn't hire him?" I squinted at the pale celebrity.

"Not as a villain," Fletcher shuddered.

Barnaby cleared his throat, "I became a villain for a greater reason than money."

He seemed to expect some sort of reaction, but everyone just stared at him. His face fell.

". . . was that supposed to be the start to an epic monologue?" I tried.

He sniffed and looked away. James laughed.

"I think you spent too much time with Pike."

"How did you get superpowers?" Kim finally managed to restore her flames.

"Oh yes," Barnaby straightened. "I was working the night shift. And obviously, because it's the night shift, I was exhausted. After my third time falling asleep at the window, I went to get myself a donut and a cup of coffee. Little did I know that thanks to a leak in the machine, my donut had been exposed to extreme amounts of radiation. It knocked me out! And when I came to, I had my powers. So, um, if you come to Dunkin' Donuts and get our special, then you may find yourself with ultra cool superpowers!"

I laughed at the ludicrous lie . . . and advertisement attempt. James quirked an eyebrow.

"Seriously?"

"It's what my dad told me to say. It was the only way he would drop me off," Barnaby grunted.

Kim snorted and rolled her eyes. She sent a wall of fire spiraling through the air. Cooly as the ice around him, Barnaby blocked her and extinguished her flames.

"I didn't really eat a radioactive donut," he frowned in thought. "I just went to a lab experiment at my college. I got my powers in the explosion and thought, 'Well, when life gives you lemons . . .'"

Barnaby threw Fletcher to the ground, encasing his legs in ice. He slammed Kim with a massive chunk of ice before she could even get her hands up. My bestie yelped and groaned as she fell to the ground. I caught my breath. My heart thudded painfully.

Barnaby may not have been 'the real deal,' but he was the first supervillain who could actually stop Kim's powers. She couldn't melt the ice without water putting her fire out. Barnaby stalked toward her.

"Kim!" I hurried forward.

Without looking, Barnaby waved a hand. Ice sprouted up my legs. I squealed in cold and surprise. I would've fallen if my trapped legs did not prevent it. James collided into my back.

"I hate ice," he grabbed my shoulder, steadying himself.

Then he yelped as Barnaby snared him too. The supervillain advanced on Kim.