Guide to Being a Superhero...'s BFF (Guide to Being, Novella One)

Oddities in my Kidnapping Routine

I came to with a start and a killer headache. I groaned squeezing my eyes shut. A shoulder dug into my stomach. Footsteps echoed through the room or hallway. My hair hung/puffed around me. I must have lost my beanie. I opened one eye to find myself draped over the Dunkin' Donuts worker's shoulder. I considered hitting him but sighed. The dude worked at a Dunkin Donuts. He probably wasn't paid very well. There or as a villain's minion.

. . . were minions paid?

Anyway, he was just doing his job. Which was aggravating and all, but he hadn't hurt me. I groaned again as the headache spasmed. Okay, he'd hurt me a little bit. I maneuvered my bound hands and managed to flick his ear. What can I say? Dedication is an important skill.

"Hey!" He jolted in shock.

And pain. But mostly shock.

"That's for the migraine," I shut my eyes again.

The jostling would make me throw up if I wasn't careful. And while this guy seriously ticked me off, even he didn't deserve vomit down his back. He huffed and shifted his grip on me. He knocked on a metal door. After a moment, he did it again. Then again.

"I hope you bruise your knuckles," I mumbled.

"I hope you get knocked out again," he shot back.

"Now that's just rude."

A door banged open.

"Ah, yes," a deep voice said, "Barnaby."

It stopped abruptly. I stifled a snicker. 'Barnaby?' That was the most minion name I had ever heard.

"Why -? Who . . . ? Wait, what?" Mr.-Deep-Voice-Probably-Villain-Orion sputtered.

"Sir."

Another minion. An odd inflection carried on his voice. I frowned, still not opening my eyes.

"This is the Miracle girl asked for," Minion-Not-Barnaby finished rather pointedly.

"Well," Probably-Villain hesitated. "Well done, Barnaby! Very well done. Uhhhh . . . Guards! Um, put her in the dungeon . . . thingy."

"Place her in the Trap!" Not-Barnaby commanded loudly.

I rolled my shut eyes. Barnaby shifted and slid me off his shoulder. I went limp, but someone caught me before I hit the floor.

There was no way I was walking all the way to the 'Trap.' Nor could I even think about escaping with my head hurting like this. And as no one seemed dangerous, at all, that didn't bother me. I restrained a smile as someone picked me up.

"Barnaby," Deep-Voice growled.

Maybe he wasn't Orion after all. An underling? Not-Barnaby seemed more experienced than he.

"What?" Barnaby asked innocently.

"Come with me."

What did Barnaby do to make this dude so cross? My bearer handed me off, and I was carried away. I shivered. Of course, Orion couldn't afford heating in his lair. I opened my eyes at the sound of scraping metal. The guard carried me into a large holding area. A metal chair sat in the center of the room. Chains coiled around it, and levers covered each wall.

I sighed. I'd seen a dozen rooms like it before. And unfortunately, it would be freezing! The guard set me down. He and his companions—who knew a drugged girl was so dangerous—forced me toward the chair. I complied easily. I decided to enjoy the couple hours or so of forced retreat. Besides, my head still tried to kill me! The guards fastened my chains, eyeing me suspiciously. I ignored them and examined my ruffled person. Considering all the shoulders I'd been passed around on, and the fact that I had been drugged and kidnapped; I could've looked worse. And had on other occasions.