Chapter 47 - I had no idea who I was

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K Y L I E

The bell rang just as Allora and I walked into the classroom. Mr. Wyatt was already inside, standing behind his desk in his pressed shirt and nice suit pants, a bunch of papers in his hand. Our essays. He had probably graded them already. I wanted to turn around and leave immediately. I could probably get away with skipping class, especially English. Mr. Wyatt didn't seem the type to underestimate period cramps if I mentioned them to him.

I didn't. I hadn't had my period in a while. I had been trying not to think about it. I wasn't pregnant. Obviously. I just wasn't eating enough, and probably exercising too much. I would do something about it after Sectionals next month. Before that, I would just enjoy not having to deal with crippling pain every month without thinking about what that actually meant for my body.

In front of me, Allora took off her jacket and put it on the back of her chair before sitting down. Unlike myself, she had probably done very well on her essay on Lord of the Flies, the latest book assigned by Mr. Wyatt, because, like the author of the book, Allora too believed there was evil at the heart of every man. So did I, but I wasn't so good with words when it came to academics, both on and off paper, and this time I hadn't had the chance to ask anyone to proofread my writing for me.

Allora had been too busy with college essays for her early admission applications, my mothers had been out of town for weeks already, and Mrs. Suzuki had been too busy doing everything around the house to waste time with a lousy English paper. I was probably going to have an F. So was life.

Not Sky, already sitting down right at the front of the class, books open in front of her, her eyes roaming through them, hair falling off a messy updo, an ugly sweater with lint all over it. I wondered whether or not Jacob had kept his word and actually done his part for the Spanish project. I had barely spoken to him over the weekend because he had been drunk for most of it and gone for the rest. I hadn't seen him at all on Sunday. According to the boys, because he had spent the whole of it in bed with a hangover.

He walked into class now, the twins following behind him, both of them in shorts even though it was raining outside, hands stuck inside a pack of chips that Mr. Wyatt immediately told them to put away. Jacob took a seat behind me. Edward was sitting next to Liam Chan. They were still mad at each other, and Allora and I still had no idea why. We had asked around, but no one had wanted to tell us, even though everyone seemed to know, at least everyone on the football team.

My phone rang in my pocket, and I sent Mr. Wyatt an apologetic look before putting it on silent. It was a message from Jacob. You look very nice today, it said. I wrote back, I know. He didn't answer.

Class started. I didn't pay attention. I was too busy trying not to feel lucky that he thought I looked nice today, trying to convince myself I really did know that already, even though I felt like I only knew it now that he had told me.

My essay fell on top of my desk, the letter B written on the very top in a green ball-point pen. Mr. Wyatt's signature under it. I looked up at him.

"You made some really compelling points, Kylie," he told me with a smile. "We do have to work on your punctuation though. There are a lot of run-on sentences there, probably because you have both a lot to say and the idea that you don't have enough time to say it. You do, but anyway, if you want, we can go over it during my office hours."

I smiled and said sure before looking down at my essay again, at the bright green B on it. I wasn't actually sure I wanted to waste my time cooked up in an office going over comma splits with Mr. Wyatt, but I couldn't exactly say no to someone who looked the way he did, more so, someone who had just said I made some really compelling points, which I had only ever heard coming from girls my age who didn't know any better, or boys who wanted something from me, and would say anything to get it.

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