Our Hope • Ava Rose Mikaelson

20. City Beneath the Sea

Sometimes you trust people and after a while, you regret ever trusting them in the first place because those very people are the ones that betrayed you and your trust. And what are you left with? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

You can't predict the future and you never know that things you do will be hurting the person you'll eventually love the most. That the little lies you told just to protect yourself ended up turning into one big lie.

You try to make it better but they don't trust you anymore and probably the only way to fix it is to open up but you can't because you're not sure if the secrets you keep will change their view of you forever... even though their view of you right now is probably not good, to begin with, but you try anyway just to make them understand.

"Just leave. We've already established that I'm not good for you or anyone, Ava."

"I hate when people say that. I had to hear it from my own family. And now from you?" I said as I walked over to him and he's not even looking at me when I speak and it's annoying me. "Don't tell me what's good and what's not good for me."

"Ava..." he warned but I continued to speak over him.

"You can't even accept the fact that something good is finally happening to you even when it's looking at you right in the face." I said, angrily and he's still not looking at me. I know what I did was wrong. I wished I could take it all back but I can't... the damage is already done. "I know I haven't been alive as long as you have and I may not know how this world works or been through the things you've been through but at least I know not to be so ignorant."

I hit his shoulder and his arms jerks but he still doesn't look at me which angers me more.

"I know I have secrets that you want to know. There are things in my past that I wish I could tell you but I can't. I don't want to because it pains me to remember... to talk about. I'm sorry that I chose the option that brings me less pain." I said trying to make him understand but he's not giving me the attention that I need.

I just need him to understand, I don't need him to forgive me or anything. I just want him to understand why I did what I did.

"Then why'd you have to lie? Mm?" He asks, finally facing me and he walks towards me until he's inches away from my face. "You created this whole story and for what? To make me feel this way about you?"

"I only lied about my name. Everything else I told you was the truth. There was no scheme or manipulation. I just need to protect myself. You're not the only one who's on the run. The thing is I can just settle down and wait for the thing to find me. I can't risk it because I'm not trying to relive the things that happened."

"What things are you talking about?" He asks and he looks genuinely curious to know but I'd had to be in my death bed to tell him because there is no way in hell I would tell him.

"Things that I don't want to talk about. Using a false name is my protection... away to get by. Everywhere I go I use compulsion and a false name. It may seem stupid to you but to me it's not.I'm a vampire and I can still die. I would prefer not to be wiped out from the face of the earth because I do have a family that needs me still, that I need to protect." I told him and he seems to be taking everything I'm saying. "I didn't think you'd had feelings for me. That night was the first time in a long time I wanted someone and I went for it. I did something for myself. I didn't think it would get this far. Why would you have feelings for someone like me?"

"How could one not?" He asks me but not for me to answer. "You're beautiful... stunning, really. You're incredible, you're smart, you're delicate, kind, mean when you want to be, carefree."