Trying Not To Love You

Trying Not To Love You (21)

                Days past, and Hayden and I had grown closer to each other ever since. Eric has not contacted me ever since the mishap in the kitchen, and I was grateful for that. I didn't want him stirring up anything and ruining everything for me when my life was finally perfect... well, right now, at least.

                I have yet to tell Hayden about Quinn. Sometimes it was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn't say it, afraid that he would reject me when he knows that I am a teen mom. Every day it would just get harder and harder, because I would fall in deeper and deeper. It kept worrying me that he wouldn't feel the same.

                But today, I was determined to tell Hayden the truth. Not the whole truth, but the part that involved Quinn. I had to defend my baby girl, and the longer I kept it from him the more it'll hurt. At least, that's what I think.

                I chuckled, thinking about my attitude towards the beginning of the year. How could I have turned from a selfish bitch to this woman who has fallen in love with a guy?

                It's all because of him.

                I rolled my eyes at my conscience, although I have to admit that it was right about that.

                Hayden and I were now walking hand in hand in a park. Our fingers were intertwined, and once in a while his thumb would skim across my knuckles, causing these weird feelings to form in my stomach. We strolled by the play area where toddlers were running around, screaming and playing.

                I pointed to a tree. “Let's go take a seat under there.”

                Hayden led me over to the small tree, and we both took a seat under the shade. I sat with my back against the bark, my head rested onto his shoulder. The Sun was now setting, and it was getting darker by the moment.

                I gazed over at the hyper children. “Aren't they cute?”

                “Who?” Hayden asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

                “The children of course,” I chuckled at him, looping my arm through his. I hugged his muscular arm close to me. “They're so adorable.”

                “They're loud.”

                I scowled at him, propping my chin up onto his shoulder. “Not all children are loud, you know.”

                He shrugged. “Yeah, but sometimes they could be annoying, you know?”

                I couldn't deny that. Sure, kids were all happy and very cute, but sometimes you just want to bitchslap them across the face. I know it sounded rude, but still.

                “Do you want a kid someday?” I asked Hayden, hoping for the best.

                He placed a small kiss on my forehead. “Why would you think about having kids at this age?”

                “Many girls think about their future at this age.”

                Hayden looked down at his lap. “I'm leaning towards a no.”

                My heart nearly shattered, but I tried to keep my face stoned. Hayden didn't want any kids? Of course he has to want kids! Who doesn't? Does this mean that he wouldn't accept me as Quinn's mother?