Endearment // Book 2

• Chapter 8 •

February 8th, 2031
Rayan Lopez

  "Poor Chres..." Jai sighed as we all walked down the aisle, arms locked to say our final goodbyes and pay our respects. Today was the day; Charles' funeral. Some people would use this time to celebrate life even though they've lost a love one but given the circumstances and with all the tension between everyone, this was even sadder to witness. Roxanne, Samuel, Jacob and Chresanto sat on the front pew and the kids sat behind them with blank expressions. The church was packed with people, Charles was great man and it shows. There were city officials, lawyers and people who he'd worked with over the years. I spotted Chaz, Mark, Sticks and Donny sitting with their families. Even some of Chresanto's students showed up.

"Do you think it would be a good time to tell J-"

"Sh," I shushed Jai "The service is starting." This wasn't the time or place to reveal her pregnancy. She's kept it under wraps for a while, a couple more days wouldn't hurt her and I look too good for Jacob to find out that I knew the whole time and I didn't say anything, he may get some ideas– if you know what I mean.

The pastor approached the stand with his bible in hand. He pushed his bifocals up on his nose before speaking.

"Today we lay our dear brother Charles August, to rest..."

•••

Chresanto August

  "Wassup man." I looked to see the guys heading over to me.

  "How you holdin' up?" Chaz asked with a hand on my shoulder.

  "I don't even know, bro."

  "Well you know we're here for you, whatever you need just holla'." Mark assured me. I nodded, dapping him up. We said our goodbyes and they all left.

  "I'm so sorry for your loss, I'll keep you and your family in my prayers." Another woman told me as she pulled me into a tight hug. She put a card on the coffee table before leaving.

  I was getting real tired of hearing that. Hell, I'm sorry too. After leaving the gravesite we all came back to my parents house for the repast and if I'm being truthful, I wish I would've just went home. I didn't feel like hearing people tell me how good of a man my father was and how he's in a better place. I don't wanna talk about a will and who got what, I just wanted to be left alone for a while. I wanted to forget for a while.

  I watched the woman that gave birth to me sit in the corner with a glass of wine and watch everyone chat amongst themselves. I still haven't spoken to her and I don't know when I will. The whole time Charles was sick up until he took his last breath she's made decisions without consulting me first, as if she didn't even care about what I felt.

  You'd think someone who had just lost the love of their life would be in shambles right now but she's just walking around like nothing happened and that's what I don't get. I get being numb but she's taking it to another level. After awhile she stood up and made her way into the kitchen.

  "Babe..." I turned to my left, spotting Jacob with a plate of food in his hand.

  I let out a sigh, knowing he was trying to get me to eat something. I couldn't though, my appetite was gone.

  "I'm not hungry, J... I'll eat some later." I lied.

  Jacob was doing the best he could at a time like this but I just wanted to escape. I needed space, from everything and everyone. I felt smothered.

"You haven't eaten a full meal in days... I'm worried about you." He sat the plate down, looking at me with such concern.

I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms around him, without saying anything. He inhaled deeply and hugged me back. I heard him sniff before he let me go and slowly treaded up the stairs.