Conflicted Eyes, Confusing Feelings | Complete

f i f t y - n i n e

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A mind wants to forget, but a heart will always remember

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Sage spent the rest of the days trying to forget.

When he wasn't too sick to haul himself out of bed, he was at work or school, desperate for the clock to tick a certain time so he'd get to bullet out off-campus as soon as possible. At that point in his life, nothing mattered to him more than his bed, the place he spent most of his days sobbing into his pillow, tormented by nightmares otherwise that left him tormented, groggy and disoriented.

In the most ungodly hours of the night, Carlos would enter his room, and despite how Sage screamed and cried for help, no one ever came to his rescue. Cecilia was in the room just across from him, but she never heard, or even if she did, she ignored him. Thus left to face everything on his own, Sage would lie awake most nights with the lights on.

Or, after a while of unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep, Sage would get up and either take a hot shower or stay up and study; anything to distract his mind from the scorching urge to distract his mind from making subconscious nail tracks in his skin.

Sage hadn't felt like himself in a while. He was overemotional and lackluster, filled with shame and blaming himself for his stupidity.

Why hadn't he just listened to his mother in the first place and forget Xander? Why was he so gullible?

"'He broke Sage from his distracted state.' Hey, Cinny! You've been standing there for the past ... 'he glanced at his watch', five minutes."

The sound of words didn't register in Sage's mind until someone touched his arm, to which he instantly ripped himself away, trying to be as subtle as possible. Eyes darting to the left, he met dark brown eyes belonging to his Indian friend, who then stared at him with his lips slightly agape.

"Oh, Nyx," Sage cracked a smile, but it was fake, "W-what's up?"

Nyx didn't respond for what seemed like the longest time. Growing paranoid that Nyx would magically see through him and find out everything tied up so tightly in his mind, Sage averted his eyes, busying himself by grabbing the disinfectant below the counter. Spraying the soapy liquid onto the countertop, the smell of lavender suffused the air as Sage wiped it off.

Nyx was still looking.

Sage wanted to address him, but he knew he couldn't, not without his voice breaking. Not without the tears in his eyes spilling over.

"I was going to tell you that table two needs your attention, but nevermind, are you well?" Nyx queried, his busy brows furrowed in deep concentration and unfaltering concern. "You look..."