the silence

thirty-three.

(warning: suicide mention)

    11 a.m. sharp, eddy was at the hospital. getting there earlier would've been torture because he wasn't allowed to see brett until 11 anyways, so he made his way inside the building at the exact time he was supposed to.

brett had woken up around 9 a.m. and had spent the past two hours crying and begging to be able to go home. being kept against his will was not something that he was okay with and he refused to cooperate with anyone who spoke to him. he'd asked about eddy at least four times and had been told the same thing every time: no visitors until 11 a.m. he had to hope and pray that eddy knew that and would be there.

    and, as aforementioned, he was. eddy was walking briskly down the hallway on his way to see his boyfriend at 11:04, his heart pounding. he'd never been happier to see a hospital door.

    brett was out of bed as soon as the door opened and he saw eddy walk through it. he walked straight up to the taller boy and jumped into his arms, squeezing his eyes shut.

"i love you," eddy said softly, leaning his chin on brett's shoulder. tears were already streaming down the older boy's face and he sniffled loudly.

"i love you," brett repeated, wiping his eyes. "i want to go home."

those five words broke eddy's heart more than he ever imagined. there was absolutely nothing he could do to give brett what he wanted, and it hurt. all he could do was be there for him in the mean time and pray that he made it through whatever they were going to put on him.

"i know, baby. i'm so sorry," eddy shook his head. "they won't let me take you."

"what?" brett asked, pulling away to look at his boyfriend's face. exhaustion was clear in his eyes and the way his lips moved lazily through the words in his sentences, as if he'd just woken up or was about to drift off to sleep. he frowned at brett's question.

"did they not tell you?" he said. brett shook his head, another tear rolling down his wet cheek. eddy wiped it away, his calloused thumb rubbing against soft skin.

"they haven't told me anything. they keep saying i have to wait until some lady gets here and she isn't here yet. it's been so shitty, eddy. i'm so glad you're here," he explained, gesturing fervently. eddy inhaled shakily.

"i can't take you home, baby. they're sending you somewhere to get help for all this," he mumbled, trying his best to sound soothing. confusion spread across brett's face and he backed away, shaking his head.

"n-no," he stammered, putting his hands up. "they're not sending me anywhere. i want to go home with you and i want to be in your bed. i don't need this. i can't go somewhere by myself. i can't."

brett's breathing sped up the more he talked, his heart pounding loudly in his reddened ears. eddy pushed his hair off of his slightly sweaty forehead and bit his lip.

"they have to send you, baby. it won't be long and maybe you can get bet—"

"no, eddy! i'm fine! i'm not going somewhere with all these crazy people i don't know!" he shouted, backing further and further away until he hit the wall. his cheeks felt like they were on fire and that the tears should evaporate as soon as they hit them, but they did not. they just rolled down his crimson tinted face and neck, soaking the collar of his thin gown. eddy approached him and he shook his head again.

"no," he sniffed. "please don't touch me. i can't handle it. i can't handle any of this. i need to go home. eddy, please take me home. i can't stay here."

eddy was in physical pain as he watched brett sink to a sitting position in the corner of the room, crying into his hands. there was absolutely nothing he could do. he walked towards brett slowly.