the silence

twenty-eight.

    brett was an absolute disaster. he was glued to the television until the very end of the broadcast, his entire body shaking and every inch of him tinted red. eddy had absolutely no idea what to say as he watched brett watch the tv, his heart pounding. it hurt to see brett like this and it was even worse because he knew that the smaller boy had just gotten over the fact that jamie had been hurt. losing him was not something brett could handle.

    to make things even worse, jamie was not the only person on that plane that brett cared about. his heart ached for all three of the ones he loved that had been on the flight when it had crashed and burned right in the middle of its route. engine malfunction, they said. something that could've been prevented.

not only was brett devastatingly sad, he was furious.

    why can't i catch a break? he thought. what the hell did i do to deserve all of this? what's next? is something going to take eddy from me now? am i going to be all alone in the world? is jamie dead? is nicolas dead? is oliver dead? one, two, or three of them?

his thoughts were running a mile a minute as he sat on eddy's couch and stared at the television long after it had been turned off. phone in hand, he tried to call jamie.

unsurprisingly, no one answered. brett cursed and threw his phone across the room, the sound of it hitting the wall echoing throughout eddy's house. the taller boy had no idea what to do. he went and picked up brett's phone, shocked and relieved to see it hadn't cracked, and put it back in brett's pocket.

heavy silence filled the air as brett remained still, his chest heaving. the tears continued to roll down his face, but he felt almost numb. eddy sat down next to him carefully and bit his lip.

"there were survivors, baby. plenty of them. you can't assume the worst," he said slowly. brett did not move or speak. eddy fought the urge to wrap his arms around him and took a deep breath.

"he probably didn't answer your call because there's a lot going on right now. it doesn't mean anything," the taller boy offered. brett shook his head.

"it's all my fault, eddy. none of this would have ever happened if i didn't move here."

that statement hurt. brett moving to sydney was the best thing that had happened to eddy in his entire life. it was not that eddy blamed brett for regretting his decision in that very moment, but the mere thought of the best thing in eddy's life being one of the worst in brett's caused a sharp pain in eddy's stomach. he thought about pointing out the fact that brett wouldn't have met him if he hadn't moved, but decided that now was not the time and he shouldn't make this about himself.

"you have no control over other people's actions, brett. you couldn't have had any idea that the car accident or the plane crash would happen and you couldn't have prevented it. it was not your fault. jamie knows that."

"jamie doesn't know anything now," brett said flatly, "he's gone."

"you don't know that," eddy argued, shaking his head. brett turned to face him suddenly. he looked angry.

"stop telling me what i don't know. i'm not stupid enough to think that i would be lucky and jamie would survive. good things like that don't happen to me, eddy. i'm bad luck and everyone i end up loving leaves or gets taken from me at some point. i wouldn't be surprised if you were next," he went on and on, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"hey," eddy frowned, "don't say that." he went to wipe brett's tears and the smaller boy smacked his hand away.

"i should go," he said. eddy blinked.