In the Open | Harry Styles | Sequel to Undercover

4.

An: smut warning

Harry

The current situation of Ellie and I's relationship was eating me up from the inside out.

I loved that because of our choices, we were allowed to have a relativity normal relationship. We could have lazy days and quiet mornings full of nothing but us. It was something I thought I would never have again after everything. Nights like tonight though, nights when I wanted to watch her get all dressed up and take her out, show her off. Nights like tonight left me questioning everything.

Was she embarrassed to be with me? Was this a permanent thing? Would she ever want the world to know that she is mine, and I hers?

Those types of thoughts bothered me the most. Those were the thoughts that played into my insecurities and allowed me to succumb to the dark thoughts that used to consume me wholly. The ones that lived inside my head, telling me that I was unworthy of love and no one would ever really want me.

I rollover in the bed to face El and reach across the divide to pull my girl close to me. She doesn't wake but shifts so that her body is tangled with mine. The sweet scent of her perfume trails through my nostrils, lavender with a hint of something like, mint, maybe?

Her mouth lifts into a smile as she sleeps and I find myself wondering what she is dreaming of. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, it's me.

I don't know how to change the dynamic so that we can have both the private side of our lives that I love so much and also the public side that I crave. The side on which I could scream to the world how completely in love with this girl I am. I toss and turn for hours trying to concoct some way to make it all work. To give the girl of my dreams everything she wants and fill my own needs.

By the time I wake up the next morning I'm moody as fuck. The room seems too bright, the air con is running too loud, and I am too annoyed. I fling the covers back and remove myself for the empty bed and practically stomp my way to the kitchen. I know I'm being childish but I can't help it. I'm tired of having to hide my relationship, as far as I'm concerned the publicity is worth it if it means I can show everyone this part of my life, the best part.

I know El won't agree, and thus the behavior.

"Someone's grumpy this morning." El comments and I just grunt in response.

"Is this about last night?" she asks. Moving to wrap her arms around me. I shrug her off and try to ignore the hurt look on her face. I'm being a dick and I know it, but I can't help it.

"Haz...what's wrong? Talk to me.

"What's this about?" She presses.

"I just wish I could take my bloody girlfriend out. That's all."

She rolls her eyes. "Harry,  we've talked about this, I thought we agreed what we have going was best."

"I guess my opinion on the matter has changed." I shrug.

She sighs. "Is there a reason for the sudden change of heart?" She asks though the way she says it has me led to believe she may already have a guess.

"Why don't you want to be seen with me El?"

"Harry, are you serious? You know what would happen."

"Why? We've been seen together before."

"Yeah, four years ago and my life was completely flipped upside down if you don't remember and then we had to move our New Year's tradition when we were caught the next time. I don't want to be followed constantly and I don't want to worry that when I do get a job, it's only because of who I'm dating."

"So it's not because you're embarrassed of me." I ask, pathetically.

"Jesus, Harry."

I glance away and out the kitchen window that sits above our sink. I can't bring myself to look at her while I bare my biggest insecurities.

"Is that what this has all been about? Wanting to go out last night and now this, all because you think I'm somehow embarrassed to be with you?"

I don't answer her, still just staring out into the backyard.

"You know that's not it, right?" She asks softly. I feel her fingers clasp around my elbow but I still refuse to look at her. "Harry if I was embarrassed of you I'd have been gone a long time ago. I love you, you know that."

Her words help me breathe, like the oxygen around me is unimportant and she is the air my lungs need. Her and everything she is. Her love is what keeps me alive and without it, I would surely fall apart. That's why this is so important to me I think.

"What, what if we just wait until I get a job. Then we could maybe try it out." She says slowly, every word calculated and obviously thought out.

I meet her eyes then.

"It's just really important to me to do this on my own okay?" She adds and I nod.

Unable to contain my emotions I have her wrapped in my arms in seconds my mouth moving against hers hungrily. She meets my rushed and needy kisses with slow and soft lips, her hands rising to rest at the base of the back of my neck. She tangles her fingers in the tendrils of my hair, tugging lightly in the way she knows I love. I moan against her mouth and trail my soft open mouthed kisses down her neck. I stop just above her left breast, taking it's twin in my hand and massaging it gently, as I sink my teeth into the soft flesh above the other. Her head rolls back and soft sounds of enjoyment fall from her lips as I suck and lick, attempting to mark what is mine.

With swollen lips and once the spot on her skin is slowly turning purple, I move my attention back to her mouth, wrapping my arms around the tops of her thighs and lifting her onto the kitchen counter. I shove the papers that were scattered there off and lay her back gently. My hands make quick work of her pajama bottoms and I hook my fingers through her panties, pulling them down and leaving her exposed and vulnerable to me.

All mine.

I bury my face between her thighs wanting to taste her, savor her, put my love for her on complete and unmistakeable display. My heart beats out of my chest as I feel myself grow rock hard as she screams my name and confesses all of her love for me as I make her feel like only I can.

Her legs shake and she begs for me not to stop. Not that I could, even if I wanted to.

I'm completely at her mercy. I'd do anything for her, anything.

I stand and undress, aligning myself and sinking into her.

Every time with her is like the first time. It's embarrassing how much of an effect she has on me, how quickly she can make me unravel. The only sounds in the kitchen are those of our love making, it's like we're the only two people in the world, she consumes my every thought.

After only a few minutes I feel my pleasure begin to build at the base of my spine. I plunge into her harder and deeper as she scratches at my back and tugs at my hair.

"Oh God, Harry." I know she's getting close I can feel her body tightening around me as I slide in and out of her desperate for more friction and to get her off before I lose myself.

I know I won't last much longer and I feel a wave of relief when she hits her high just before I do the same. I move a few minutes more allowing us both to ride out our pleasure before I pull out of her and move to grip the counter top to get my breathing under control.

"I love you." I say through my still ragged breathing.

"I love you too." She says quickly, like it's just a fact, not a trace of doubt in her words. "Let me get a job Haz. Then, we can tell everyone that you're mine, and that I am completely, one hundred percent, in love with you."

An: sorry it's been so long guys! I got logged out of my account which put me back a few days on updates for all my stories!

Hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Sav 🖤