Chapter 13

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QUINN

I walked up to the door with Kyle and pushed on it, our house was often unlocked because my dad and brother never really bothered to lock it and I didn't want to contend with their drunk rage if I locked it and they forgot their keys. Sure enough the door to our once lovely suburban house swung inside. We jumped at the creeking noise it made because both of us were on edge, fully aware that more likely than not our dad was waiting inside.Concious or not a drunk angry man with a firearm is not an inviting idea. I walked inside making sure I was in front of Kyle, there was no way I was letting our dad hurt him again.

"Kyle you stay here, I'll be right back."

"Let's just go upstairs man, there's no reason to seek him out."

"Alright." We walked up the stairs and onto the second floor. My room was just at the top of the stairs and we both silently walked in and closed and locked the door.

"So we sleep here tonight?" Kyle asked. It seemed like our life was turning into a bit of a survival game.

"Ya I'll sleep on the floor." I looked at the clock, it was only five. "You doin' okay?" I was watching Kyle pace back and forth. He stopped and sat down slowly on the bed.

"Um ya I'm fine."

"You're not." He gave me a quizzical look.

"Okay, so I'm not then. Do you have a solution?"

"You're gonna have to tell me what's bothering you first." He looked down and rubbed his bad arm. "Hey you can tell me. We're doing this together."

"I don't know I just feel awful, I try to remember things but it's all blurry like my memories are still drunk even though I'm not. And I feel so bad about what I did to you, it makes it worse that I can't remember it all right."

"It's dad's fault okay? And if not dad's mine. But you're the only innocent one here alright? No one blames you for anything you did." My headache was coming back full force. I got up and dry swallowed an Advil. "You want some?" I asked handing him the container. It probably would have looked funny to an outsider but it didn't feel that way to me. Advil took the pain away for a little while at least. It wasn't as if we were going to overdose. Neither of us were keen on substance abuse for obvious reasons. He took two and I put the jar away. When he looked back he was just staring at them in his hand I handed him a water bottle. "Withdrawals nasty huh?" He looked at me shocked for a second and took his Advil.

"Did you go through this?"

"Not this bad but a little."

"I feel like crap."

"How's your arm?"

"Weird, I kinda forgot what pain really feels like I guess."

"Bad?"

"Not good." Kyle replied.

I got up to change into comfortable clothes. I was still wearing jeans and a hoodie.

"What the..." Kyle exclaimed. I turned around holding my shirt in my hand. Kyle had his head buried in his hands. He was crying.

"Hey what's up?"

"I did that to you didn't I?"

"What--" Then I realized what he meant. He had seen my chest and arm. I should have been more careful. I quickly grabbed at shirt and put it on. However slowly because my chest hadn't fully healed. Kyle was watching me so I tried to look as fine as I could. He wasn't ussually this emotional and I knew it was because of the withdrawal. I thought about what I could to to make him feel better, what I would want if I was in his place. I sat down next to him and firmly put my hand on his good shoulder. "Listen, alright, if you want I will tell you all of the things that I can remember you doing. I will because if our places were switched that's what I would want you to do. But remember that I don't blame you alright?" 

"Thanks."

"Most of the time it was dad. You started really getting into it only about last week. Last week I came home and you pinned me against a wall by jamming one of my crutches into my chest. Monday , or maybe it was tuesday, I can't remember, you hit me in the head with a mug and really thats the most I can remember of what you've done."

"Wait why did you have crutches."

"Oh that wasn't you."

"What happened though?"

"I just injured my ankle it was mostly just Casey being over protective."

"How did you injure your ankle?"

"Dad and a knife."

"Dad knifed you?" He asked alarmed.

"Ya it really wasn't that bad though."

"But he could have killed you!"

He could have killed you easier." Kyle paused for a second.

"What happened to your arm?"

"Same thing." I looked at the clock it had already been two hours. Then there was a knock on the door. 

"Boys I know you're in there." Kyle jumped. My dads words had a jingle to them like a first grader taunting his little brother. There was a gunshot, me and Kyle just sat there petrified with fear. The door swung open and our dad walked in. He was holding a shotgun, it was on the small side. He dropped it on the ground and it fired a bullet at my wall, making a hole in the old drywall. He stumbled towards us and I could smell the alcohol on his breath, this may have been the drunkest I had ever seen him. For a guilty second I wondered why he didn't die of alcohol poisoning. He was right in front of me and Kyle now, just about one foot distance between us. We stood there staring at each other. My dad swung his fist at Kyle but he dodged. I grabbed him and pinned him down on the floor. 

"Thats it! Do you see what you're doing? All of this, the mess our family has become it's your fault! You had better shape up or we'll report you to the government. I swear I have been trying to protect you for so long and going through hell for it too but I'm done now okay? I'm done with you and done with trying to get our family back to the way it was. It never will be. You shot Kyle and you stabbed me and you probably don't even remember do you." I looked into my dads eyes but he wasn't my dad. There wasn't human left in him at all. There was no sadness, or fear, or remorse. All I could see was anger. I was pinning down an empty carcass possesed by a bloodthirsty souless demon. "Go!" I yelled at him, he knew he had lost he got up and left the room, I slammed the door but it swung back because he had shot through the closing mechanism. A minute later I hear the thump of him passing out in the hallway. And I realised that really I wanted him to die.

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