I'm the place you can come to, you're the place I can go to (you're my home)

vi.

Jeonghan had always been a solid strength within the group, a motherly figure to the other members. He was someone they all went to when they needed help, someone they all knew that they could rely on.

But Jeonghan was still human. He still struggled just like the others did. He still felt similar pains, still went through similar experiences. He still hurt.

Sometimes Jeonghan couldn't always be the one to take care of everyone else.
Sometimes he just needed someone to care for him too.

The group had been having schedule after schedule, having been promoting their current album on music shows, adding more dates to their world tour all while having separate schedules at different times and places.

Jeonghan had been feeling bad for a while now. Maybe bad wasn't the best word. He'd been feeling...numb. In a way, he hadn't really been feeling anything much at all.
All of his current emotions were mixing into one numb void, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

Much to his own surprise, it came to in such a simple situation, when Jeonghan was recording, the group having been re-modifying songs for their upcoming tour dates. The three of them were in the studio - Jihoon, Jun and Jeonghan - trying their best to alter some of the latters current lines.

"Hyung, can you just do that once more."
Jeonghan sighed and leaned back on the wall, rubbing his face in his hands and breathing out deeply.
"S-sure."
He tried once more, re reading the lines before following Jihoons instructions down to the last note.

"No hyung just-"
"Jeonghan? Can I borrow you for a moment."
Their manager interrupted, alerting the three but then agreeing as soon as and letting the older out, Jeonghan listening as Jihoon began to discuss Jun's own lines with him.

"You've had some schedule changes. There's a fitting for some last minute tour outfits in around an hour, and then I need you to go for some vocal lessons straight after-" He simply nodded and smiled along, barely taking in anything his manager was saying to him. "Got that?"
"Yes hyung." Nod and smile Jeonghan, nod and smile.

He entered the studio to Jun already preparing to record his lines in the booth, Jihoon instructing him.
He only noticed Jeonghan when the older let the door close with a loud thump.
"Ah, sorry hyung. We couldn't wait, I can finish yours right after Juns." He smiled up before quickly going back to talking Jun through how he should redirect his own voice.
Jeonghan didn't take much in. Only 'couldn't wait'.

They couldn't wait for you to get your act together and sing your lines properly. It's not like that's your job or anything.

"Hyung. Hyung. We can finish your lines now."
Jeonghan had zoned out, having been staring at the wall ever since he entered again, watching the clock hands move, every second. Tick, tick, tick.

"Hyung?"
"Yeah yeah, I'm coming now Hoonie."
"Are you okay hyung? You don't look that great."
"I'm fine Junnie, just thinking."

It took an extra 15 minutes, with no progress, for Jihoon to really start getting annoyed, and Jeonghan could tell.
"Hyung, I really need to get this done soon, plus you have places to be too."
"Can we go again please, I'll get it right this time."
He didn't.
"Hyung I know you want to try but I really don't have time, can we please just contin-"

Jeonghan wasn't listening anymore. He wasn't even paying attention to a thing that was going on outside of the booth. All he could think of was how much he hindered the others.
Your wasting everyone's time. Jihoons got things to do, Jun's meant to be at his own fitting but he's waiting for you to get a grip, the stylists are expecting you soon but you're holding them up.

He felt the hands pushing over his ears, wanting to block the rest of the noise out. He heard the loud, struggling breaths trying to claw their way out of his lungs. He tasted the saltiness on his lips from the tears falling down his cheeks.

He was panicking, he was having a panic attack and he didn't know why. He especially didn't know how to stop it.

And then the door opened, he felt the presence of more people within the small booth and he pushed himself further into the padded walls, wanting to be as far away from anyone as possible, especially in the confined space.

"Hyung."
No, no, no. He was fine, he was fine. He didn't need them to help. He'd be fine. He was there hyung, he was meant to be the one to look after them, he was fine.
"Hyung can I touch you, is that okay."
It sounded familiar, that sweet, kind, gentle voice. And then there were hands on his skin, rubbing comforting circles on his back in order to try and help him calm down.
"Hyung, I need you to breath for me."
When had he stopped breathing completely?
But then he was pulled into someone's embrace, the hands on his back still remaining to bring him comfort as they pulled him closer to themselves. They were warm, gentle and inviting. He liked the warmth. It was fresh and welcoming. So different from the numb void he'd felt for so long.
"That's it hyung, follow my breathing."
The same person was pushing his hand into their chest, letting him feel the careful rhythm of their own breaths.

When he had calmed down significantly he finally registered who the person was. The kind voice and the warm embrace and the gentle energy all made sense as Jun's warm smile came into view above him. He was still holding onto Jeonghan, his hand having moved away from Jeonghans chest to run his fingers through his hair.
He was smiling down at his hyung as he remained seemingly un-phased by the situation itself. They were both propped up against the booths wall with Jun supporting Jeonghans head from where he sat slightly towering over the older.

"Thankgod hyung. Jihoonie was starting to get worried, he went to get the manager."
Jeonghan became alerted and aware in a more serious way, pushing himself up, eyes scanning the small room.
"It's okay hyung, I've got you. It's okay now."
"No no. Jihoon had so much to do, he was- I was taking up his t-time and he, you've got to-"
His hand was pulled into Jun's own and directed to his chest feeling the deep, steady breaths of his dongsaeng.
"Steady breaths hyung, it's okay."
"I-I, you're all so busy and I'm just wasting time by
b-being such a mess I- sorry Junnie I'm just-"

"You're not a mess hyung, don't say that. Jihoonie was just stressed because of the busy schedule and you just had an off day, there's time to re record. You come first hyung, always."

Jeonghan smiled as Jun cradled his head gently before moving to help him stand, their hands remaining intertwined.
They left the booth just as Jihoon entered with both Seungcheol and their manager, the three looking around worriedly as they saw Jeonghans tired state in Jun's hold, his cheeks red and eyes teary.

"Hannie, are you okay. Let's get you home alright."
"I'll organise for the rest of your schedules to be moved around. Don't worry about it Jeonghan."
"Thankyou hyung."
Their manager smiled down at him as he rifled through his pockets and pulled his keys out.
"I can drive you back to the dorms."

Seungcheol walked between the two members and went to pull Jeonghan away gently before the boy tightened his hold on Jun, nestling his head into Jun's neck and keeping hold of his hand tightly.
"Junnie." He whispered lightly and Seungcheol understood instantly, moving to the other side of Jeonghan and walking beside him just incase, yet not wanting to pull the two apart.

They walked out to the car like that, Jun holding onto Jeonghan tightly, the other reciprocating as he lead him into the vehicle, placing his hand out in order to prevent Jeonghan from hitting his head on the roof.

They moved to the back of the car where Jun allowed Jeonghan to sit in the middle, guiding his head to Jun's neck once more and allowing him to cuddle into his side.
"I am sorry Junnie I- oh I must have scared Hoonie so much. I really am-"

"Don't hyung, just focus on yourself for once. We can talk about it later okay." He looked down on his hyung, smiling as he watched Jeonghans eyes close gently and his breathing even out as he fell into a sound sleep.

Things weren't always perfect and life wasn't always ideal, but Jun was sure that as long as he could protect those he cared the most about then things would work out just fine.