Who I am (parrlyn)

{Chapter 1: Im sorry}

Since Henry's death, the 6 queens had moved in together. Created their own family. But Cathrine Parr had noticed something was up with Anne
Anne PoV: I couldn't do anything right. I was at the end of what little strength was holding me together. Every day felt like a battle I was forced to fight. I had to fight my love for Cathrine. The urge to give up.
Cathrine: Anne, Anne it's time to wake up.
Anne: wha-
Cathrine: It's time for breakfast. I left you as long as Aragon would let me. Now she's told me that if you don't wake up right this second she will come and get you up herself. And personally. I don't think you should let that happen
Anne: ok, ok I'll be down in a min
Cathrine PoV: I went in to wake Anne up and she seemed normal. Sleepy adorable Anne. The one I fell in love with. But she doesn't know that. She had kept her blanket pulled up to her shoulders but I could see she was wearing a hoodie. It was the middle of summer. I didn't understand why she was wearing it. But she had already seemed pretty off in the last few days so I didn't say anything
Cathrine: Ok. Hurry up though. Aragon would literally behead you again.
Anne: ha. Funny.
Cathrine: I'm sorry. Sorry I know I know that you don't like it when people bring that up. Sorry
Anne: It's ok. And also. You apologise an awful lot. I've never noticed that
Cathrine: sorry
Anne: There you go again.
She smiled.
Look I'll see you in a min. Promise. I won't be beheaded again.
Cathrine: Ok. I'll be down in the kitchen

Cathrine leaves the room after smiling at Anne and closes the door after her

Anne PoV: I pulled my blanket down and stood up and walked into the bathroom.
I stared at myself in the mirror. And a destroyed, weak girl looked back. My eyes fell and I looked below the mirror. To where my razor lay. And memories of last night flow back into my brain
I had just ran out of the kitchen after being yelled at by Aragon and having a terrible day all around. 
Kitty and Anna were celebrating their 1 year anniversary and my overwhelming love for Cathrine made me feel weird and like I wasn't meant to be like this.
So when Aragon said that she was surprised they lasted a year I asked why. She gave me a look. Just that look. That meant don't go there. But of course. Stupid Anne Boleyn went there. I always have to push it too far. So I did. I said to her. Why are you surprised Aragon. I'm not surprised. I'm more surprised as to why you are asking them this. Just celebrate the love they have for each other
Then Aragon went at me. She went off on a rant of how annoying I was. How I shouldn't be alive. How she wished I was beheaded all over again. And this time I didn't stay alive
That's what sent me
Jane noticed my mood change and stopped Aragon by distracting her with smoothie recipes. She's had a thing for making us all smoothies in the morning and at this point. We can't tell her that they aren't too good. But I always drink them. Every morning.
At that point I stood up and gave Aragon a cold stare and walked out. I could hear Anna calling me and Kitty follow after me.
But then Cathrine stopped her. And she followed after me.
She waited outside my door. She said to me. I'll be right here. I'll wait here until you are ready. I promise. And that set me off. I curled up on my bed with my hair covering my face and started crying. I lay there. Tears falling from my face and soaking my pillow. I don't even remember how long I was there for. But I remember rolling over and getting up. Walking to my bathroom and staring at myself. A broken, beat down girl stared back. My eyes scanned the room until I found what I wanted.
I grabbed my razor and looked at myself again. Without looking. I placed the sharp razor on my arm. And whimper softly as the blade cuts my skin. But something about that cut. It's like it releases something. 3 more times. That's how many times I release the pressure. And as I drop the razor. I break down. I can't believe what I've just done. I crumple into a ball and hold my arm close to me. Sobbing as my hair falls over my face. I consider calling for Cathrine.  But I can't gather the courage to tell her what I've done. So I pull myself together and search through the cupboard until I find a bandage. I rinse the cuts and wince as I wrap the bandage around my arm and pull a hoodie over my head and crawl into bed.
I knew Cathrine was still outside. But I couldn't gather the strength to tell her to go.
So I lay there. And whisper to myself.
Im sorry