Ultramarine | The Darkest Minds Fanfic

Chapter 22, Sheena

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god...

　　What the fuck just happened?

　　He hurt you. That was what happened. It said coldly.

　　"Shut up!" I screamed.

　　I promise you, I wouldn't just push him off if it had been my choice.

　　"Get out of my head!"

　　I can't. I am you.

　　"Stop!" I cried, "Please, just..." and I didn't have the strength to keep going anymore. I'm so tired.

　　Even after running out of the Ranch, and hid behind the back of this warehouse for hours, curled up in a ball on the ground, I still couldn't wrap my head around everything. Why did he do that? Why would he yelled at me like that and kiss me immediately afterwards? What the actual fuck was that?

　　One thing is for sure—my monster wanted to hurt him. Really hurt him. It had taken me so much strength keeping it under control when we were fighting, but it had somehow gotten even worse when he kissed me...oh, god, why did that happened?

　　I had to go. That much is clear. He wants me to. I want me to. I had to leave, before I could do any real damage—

　　"Sheena?" The voice that called sounded so familiar, my heart jolted in pain.

　　I raised my head, and saw a silhouette against the strong light shining my way. For an instance there, I thought it was floodlight, and almost took off and ran out of pure fight-or-flight instinct, but soldiers wouldn't know my name. They also wouldn't call me by that voice.

　　As the person approached, his hair had taken on a blondish color against the harsh white headlight, and his facial feature started to get clearer.

　　Liam.

　　"Sheena, are you okay?" He crouched down in front of me, and I squeezed myself into an even tighter ball. "What are you doing here—"

　　"Don't touch me." I shrank away from his outstretch hand, and he retracted, but didn't leave.

　　"What happened?" He sat down in front of me, with zero regard of the dirt on the ground.

　　I wanted to tell him, but tears caught on faster than my words.

　　It startled Liam. "Jesus..." He laid a gentle hand on my shoulder, "Did...did he take it out on you?"

　　No. I did this. It was my fault. I made my bed, now I had to lie in it. "...not really..." I gasped in between breaths, "...it's not safe..."

　　"Not safe?" Liam said, alarmed. "Sheena, what are you talking about? Did he hurt you?"

　　I shook. The thought of Cole hurting me is a little ridiculous at the moment—whatever he could do, it's not like I couldn't hurt him a thousand times worse. But the real answer came much slower. "I'm not safe...to you. All of you."

　　Liam frowned. "Look, Sheena." He braced his elbows on his knees, "I don't know how it's like for you, but another girl I know also said something very similar to what you just said when I first met her. But guess what? You are not dangerous."

　　"I just...hate it, that you guys think of yourselves like that." He continued in a calm voice. Tired, even. "I may never really understand what it was like for you, but the thing is, none of us really have it under control just like that. Even now, I still had to talk myself down before I chuck my brother to the other side of the room, you know?"