Going out for a rip... and a kiss

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2014
I'm from a very small Canadian town where there isn't a whole lot to do. Especially if you are too young to get in to bars. So as stereotype suggests we go out for rips with our friends, which is basically just getting into a car and driving down the backroads of the city for hours at a time. The summer before my grade 12 year that's exactly what I was doing with my long time crush Jared. He was the only one from our crew that I still talked to after Aiden and I had a big falling out and things were weird with Tom. We were very close and often times would take me out for drives when I was feeling depressed late at night.

This night in particular I was feeling really rough and was in hot pink pajama bottoms and a big hoodie as we drove around. I was in a spot in my life where I absolutely hated myself. I was a cutter with an aggressive eating disorder and driving with Jared often took me out of being that person and gave me a reason to smile.

After about an hour of driving we pulled into our usual parking spot. We talked for maybe another twenty minutes and I was on the closest edge of the seat to him. It didn't take long after that before he reached over and kissed me. It was my first kiss and it was soft at first other than the scratching of his beard on my chin. Quickly it got heated and he lifted me over the centre console so that I was straddling his lap as we made out. It wasn't until I accidentally leaned back and my ass hit the horn causing us both to leap apart. We drove home in silence and never really spoke again.

Lesson learned: Horny boys will always pretend to care.

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